All Comments on 'One Perfect Night'

For a first effort, 5 Stars. If you were a seasoned writer I'd give it 4. It has nice flow and a setting that probably resonates with many.

For "next time" (and I hope you continue writing and polishing your obvious talent), I do have several constructive suggestions: The first is a bit less clichéd dialogue, and more focus on their emotions and feelings as they both become increasingly aroused, building to the climax they instinctively want. Keep in mind that great sex is a symbiotic partnership, so paint a more inclusive picture, rather than have it mostly *his* perspective. Rather than dialogue (too much of which distracts from the eroticism), you could insert her thoughts, emotions, what her body is experiencing. Finally, the "no regrets" ending is plausible but "Why did we wait so long?" would invoke delicious thoughts of what the future may bring.

I enjoyed this. It was very nice!!