All Comments on 'One Shot'

What? Proofreading prior to submission is never a bad thing.

Aside from excessive relativist moralizing, there isn't much point to this store. Waste of bytes.

So many get caught up in perfect grammar, the story was more original than most on the site, The point of perspective that of an insider/outsider was different and the end showed a realistic but maybe spiteful twist. I give it 5 stars for originality.

I'd give you a -100 if i could.

Both the story and the main character are crazy and your must have a demented mind to write this garbage.

the protagonist is easily one of the most selfish self-centered amoral creatures that I've ever read about...

Wow, why is this story catching so much flak? I think it's great, it's original and it takes the kinks and presents them in an unconventional manner. Thumbs up from me.

This is both somewhat erotic and surreal.

For such grammar and plot, the story is just too short.

I liked it.

I loved the story. I don't understand why its getting hate. If its not your story just move on.

You want feedback, here is mine.

"It barely involved me(No period) (lowercase a)nd I can't orgasm unless I think about it."

"she asked us as we sat on the living room futon(period) "Everybody will know I'm a baby, right?"

"Here's the jist of it:" = "gist"

"When she decided to marry her husband, Brian," You can leave out "husband". If she married him we can assume he was her husband.

" They "fought" for LGBT rights even more than I did." Why is "fought" in quotation marks?

"We think his name was "Mike."" You go from present tense to past tense and why is 'Mike' in quotation marks?

", aka another take on the "baby" costume." That is not the proper use of a.k.a.

I couldn't go on but I really suggest you find an editor to correct all the many mistakes here.

Kinda scary.

Maybe as a followup you could write this sick fuck dyke walking into the day care where the now divorced Caitlin placed her fatherless child, and have her detonate a suicide bomb vest. Bet you could type that while eating a chili dog.

Don't get help. There isn't any.

Actually even though it’s fiction, it’s more real than most stories here. People are fucked up. You seem to get that. The fact that the main cut was obsessing over her friend and that one moment in time is so much truer than anything I have read today. Thank you.

A real "Think Piece" of a story. Pity that there's not a sixth star available.

This was a despondent wife and a non-caring friend who didn't help matters.

You appear to have a real affinity for horrible people. I don't know if I should feel bad for you or those close to you. You're definitely talented, but I feel compelled to wish you peace.