All Comments on 'One True Master Ch. 01'

Nice start. Looking forward to more.

Good but you missed a few things like first shes sitting in bed then suddenly shes standing and never mentioned it or later how she got a sword in her hand

You write in an unusual way. At first I thought your grammar was all over the place until I read it more carefully. Also I like that you made us fill in some details, almost like reader participation! It makes for a little more tension I felt.

I'm looking forward to the next instalment.

Pete.

the start of something fun. Hope she turns the tables on him.

The sword thing got me too. Timelines, they are important. Always re-read to insure things fall in correct order and you didn't leave anything out. But a good start.

I love that he is English; its easy to imagine him with a common southern English accent. Your story telling and consistency are a bit off, but i'm sure if you get someone to check it all before you submit it then it will be an even better read, its a good start so far. I'm definitely interested.

For what my opinion is worth; I thought it was a very nice start. I’ll look forward to more.

A good start..familiar story line....but nothing wrong with that...we're waiting for the fun to start!

As I said, this is my first submission, and it's something I wrote a long time ago, so I do agree that there are quite a few changes regarding plot consistency and story flow that I can make, but I appreciate the support and constructive criticism. Also, that you to those of you who voiced suggestions as to what should happen in the next installment. I will try to incorporate those into the next few chapters. Thank you!

~Nique

Please don't write the story according to suggestions. I've seen authors ruin good stories that way. It's your story to tell and if you get an honest idea based upon someone's comment, so be it. But tell the tale you have to tell. Very intriguing start. As others did, I suggest you have someone read before you post because you could lose readers with consistent errors. But it sounds like you're on top of that. Thanks. Oh, and I really liked the way the sisters were taken care of by being too young for the pirates to bring aboard. The situation reveals much about many of the characters, including the victim's sense of maturity and her fighting character.

I give this piece of advice every now and then to those authors with less experience and lacking editing skills. You can read through a paragraph ten times and still miss certain problems in phrasing. I highly suggest (when no one is around to complain or interrupt) reading your story aloud when you review. Read it like you are narrating, and you will most likely re-phrase and reduce redundancy. Good start, and I see promise in this work. :)

You have a good story, and kept the grammar together. I also like that you allowed room for my imagination to run with your work. You're a pretty good author. It was really nice to read.