All Comments on 'Online to Reality'

There MAY be a good story here, I can't tell. You REALLY need a good, strong editor.

Things that make this story unreadable: multiple run-on sentences, multiple paragraphs that end with commas, and sentences such as, “It's been good if you ignore my inability to human,” “been sat in your lap in the cinema,” and “(it) was just an instinct thing til I realised you liked it then went under.” What do ANY of those things mean? What is "inability to human"? What does "been sat" mean? "Went under" what?

Here's the thing about writing a story: good spelling and sentence structure, along with proper punctuation and grammar, make the meaning of the written words clear and understandable.

Your words may make sense to you, but most of the rest of us don't have a CHANCE of following what is happening!