All Comments on 'Only in a Dream Ch. 08'

I don't think there are enough words in English language to describe how bad thIs story is. It is wretched on so many different levels that it's hard to cover them all.

The first as a story and as a literary work its um below the the badly constructed....

Brad read on....

Brad turned the page reluctantly..

who the fuck writes like that? And to do it every other paragraph??

SECOND ..throughout the entire story this idiot BRAD keeps saying " where di all the time go ?" or words to that effect. He says it least 10 times throughout the story... OK we get it !!!

Brad is so fucking stupid that he does not seem to be able to figure out basic things such as time and gravity.

THIRD ... in chapters 4 5 6 and 7 almost every other paragraph has the wife saying ..." OH I LOVE HIS BIG COCK... or "I NEED MORE BIG COCK!" or I FELL SO NASTY !!!"

Again it's overkill. We get it!!! at this point a story The author wants them you to believe that the wife has become an extreme derangement for unstable cock slut. But saying it 10 ...15 or 20 times in the story.... doesn't make it any more believable.

FINALLY at the end a chapter 7 the reader sees how absolutely destroy the entire marriage is. The reader is cheering for brad to get some sort of revengor at least say something. Yet it turns out that the entire story was complete lie and a waste of time.

The reader did not need to read chapter 4...5...6... or 7.. Instead this appallingly obnoxious and stupid author gets to waste my time as well as any other readers time... by coming up with the story which in effect did NOT actually happen.

Prior to the previous chapter, I had wondered if the whole journal was simply her writing out fantasies that never actually transpired. Thus, this ending is not as surprising to me as it might be to some.

Very, very, very, very, very, long! I mean really, really, really, really, really, really, very, very long! When I say long I mean really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, long. In fact it was so long that it went on and on and on and on, for a very, very, very, very, long, and I mean a really, really, really, really, really, really, very long, long time.

Ah well; at least it had a Happy if not Sappy Ending!

I Love Happy (Sappy) Endings!

(All just a bad dream, Really???)

What a waste of time, total bullshit, one of the worst stories on this site.

Well actually you did title it "only in a dream", so I guess one can't term this a deus ex machina either....

I didn't hate it, I didn't like it... But on the other hand you didn't make the protagonist a pathetic cum guzzling loser, so this passes muster...

you didn't see this coming? come on. she was way over the top. i would have been suprised if it was not a dream!

shit...

Stupid

Too long for a joke story.

1*

The only thing good in this story is that it's finally over. Do us all a favor and get a different hobby. Take up fishing or basket weaving or sucking homeless men off in the Greyhound bus station but for fuck sakes, don't write anything. Ever.

very well written story. go to show how a persons mind can really make you believe almost anything

This was a 10 on the 1 to 5 scale. I can relate to the fantasy. I can relate to the jealousy. And, I know that it is all a dream.

Thanks for a wonderful story.

liked it even less this time.

1* for every chapter of this drawn out peice of garbage. No wonder you didn't want comments before.

A very good piece and well worth reading.

Felt a bit to me like a final chapter restart. Like seven chapters of build-up only to start fresh and rewrite the whole situation at the end.

The dream was way, way, way too long. You could have told this story in no more than half the time and lost nothing. And we could have been doing other things.

But I didn't care much for Dallas the first time around and this wasn't a very clever or interesting rehashing. Had it been 2 chapters it might have been palatable, but this just felt like one, very long, run on sentence.

has died.

The ending was a piece of shit. No good ending at all. No beat the shit out of the skank and her lovers. No smashed autos . A long fucked up story that ended up as a PILE OF SHIT. Don`t write anymore of this SHIT.

You write well, and we all knew the dream aspect from the title. That said, it was entirely too long. I skip/skimmed over much of each chapter and it didn't make much difference. Next time please tighten things up and you should garner better responses.

The haters need to stop hating. The whole intent was to drag it out. It was a nightmare for this guy. Nightmares seem to last forever. He really did have a Loving Wife.

enjoyed this story from start to finish great ending

From beginning to end. I had a hard time waiting for the next chapter. Please write some more stories.

So we have the perfect wife and a husband who had a bad dream about her cheating on him . It took 8 chapters to conclude this mess.

As other people have said, just too long. The story rambles with far too much irrelevant verbiage.

Even in reading the diary, it would be better to have one or two entries, and then you summarize with 'And there were more entries, with more of the same'. And the constant flowing back into retrospection all happening from within the dream itself. Gah. Horrible waste of time and words.

Then in the final chapter, you're insisting on repeating back for the reader all of what he dreamed. We don't need it, we read it (poor us.) You just had to reference that he 'tells her about all the sordid incidents'.

As someone else said, it was eight over long, over rambling, meaningless chapters all to find out it she was a good wife, and he's just obviously suffering from onset of dementia.

Also out of the blue, a 60 year old wife starts calling herself a slut and whore as sexy talk, based on one again likely dementia inspired conversation with her doddering husband? Alright.

This should have been probably 20% of the length to tell a similar tale.

the most boring man in the world, thats who. i cant believe i followed along for a MONTH reading what turns out to be truckloads of complete bullshit that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. fuck you man. thats dirty.

Brad may have been dreaming but the story was a nightmare. Couldn't you have dragged it out a bit longer? Oh, well, shit happens. Cheers!

Meandering, convoluted, etc., etc.

It was like reading a Star Trek time traveling script.....only worse.-BGunns

So did she actually have the affairs or not? This story is confusing

I agree it went on a little too long..and the dream about reading the journal stretched out too long, as long as nightmares feel, this one could have been pruned down.

One of the problems with the dream sequence is that it was too far over the top, I realize it was a nightmare scenario, but by making it so over the top it projected early on that this was not real. If Kathy in the dream had had an affair with Matt, and maybe had sex with Jason, but for example, showed some remorse in the diary (in the dream), it would have made it harder to figure out the ending, that this wasn't reality. It would be kind of like in the dream if Brad sees pigs flying or gets hit on by angelina Jolie, it is a clear sign this isn't reality.

The writing is decent, and though the dream stuff has been done before, not bad except for telescoping the ending a bit. 4*.

I wrote to the author several times, after different chapters, that if the title was indicative of the ending, most readers would be seriously pissed off, being dragged along for so many chapters.

I never watched "Dynasty", only heard about it. Did viewers get pissed off, having wasted a whole season, only to find their hero was alive, in the shower, for the beginning of the next season? Or did they enjoy what was apparently a novel idea for a TV series to use? Maybe once was enough, huh?

... blew it! Sure, the clue is in the title, right? I just didn't believe that anyone would use the old 'Dallas' trick. Such a shame. I won't rate this, that would be unkind as you really can write, but Jeez as final chapters go? Awful!

This was a great story. I still think Kathy cheated though. When Brad read the entries, I was wanting more. Even though I felt like it was too much, I kept reading. I know for a fact that if it was my wife's diary, I would have read the whole thing.

ALL OF YOU WHO SAY THIS STORY WAS NO GOOD... THAN WRITE A STORY THAT IS BETTER.

WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT

I took the time to read the first 15 pages, with plenty more to go, but found it very tedious, so I thought I'd come back in a day or two and finish it. Now, when I'm so far thru the story, it's mutated into li'l chapters, and NOT released all at once. I have to WAIT for chapters to come out -- and then I've already read that part, so more waiting and waiting. I wanted to read the whole thing in one or two sittings, but then got sucked into the drawn-out releases. That's brutally annoying to me! Then comes a most bizarre ending. At first I was seriously pissed. Then I read ALL of the comments, and I laughed and laughed and laughed! I decided that the pure joy of humor was worth the price of admission. But make no mistake, it WAS a heavy price that I paid. ahhh, but a few good belly laughs take away all the pain.

Good writer. No doubt you'll learn from this and I hope to read another from you soon. Hope I like the ending better, but whatever. Just don't take so long to give us chapters. And, yeah, edit, edit, edit!!!

Actually, I think I'm liking the ending more and more...hmmm...

Some of the commenters are really pathetic. A story about an actual loving wife, who actually ended up staying faithful. The few chapters leading up to final chapter were so over the top; it was clear that it was all a dream sequence. For all the negative comments you can tell that some readers bought it; hook, line & sinker.

Great writing; bravo.

For all the ones who really think it was that bad; try writing something and see what scores you get and how well people rate your writing ability.

Happy ending for couple for a change in these cheating wife stories.

I agree with a previous reply that this is fictional story and if people want to mention how poor the story is, then lets read your story ! ?

Some authors are ok, some good, some bloody amazing writers.

I just hope that can write a story half as good as an ok author ! Lol

Therefore, I try not to make negative comments about a story unless it's so bad, I can't help myself. Than said, I really enjoyed this story. It was very creative, and, to me, seemed somewhat realistic even though the dreamed sex scenes were over the top--but fun.

A grammatical comment: I SAW Matt and others... NOT I SEEN Matt & others. Also, I PIQUED her imagination, NOT I Peaked... I peeked around the corner and what I saw piqued my interest and peaked my sexual arousal.

I am confused about the ending, they both watch as his cum drips from her and back down on to him, Kathy looked at Brad in horror? What was the meaning? Did her affair(s) actually happen? Otherwise excellent story one of the best I have read keep writing. 5 stars

But way too long, too many characters and too convoluted jumping back and forth.

KISS Keep it simple stupid :-)

3*

But I didn't think the story was too long, too many characters or was convoluted. I can see, however, where some of the readers might be turned off by the length of the story and the round about story telling. I thought the author gave away too much with the story title. I can imagine the frustration of some of the early readers with this title and only part of the story. The impression I was left with on reading the initial disclaimer was that the initial was published quite a while before either the story was completed, reworked, or both.

There were some issues with what I took to be the original publication (though I read all chapters in a single sitting), at least some of which were explained in the final chapters, but it seemed like the final chapter was rushed. It didn't have the same feel or present in as realistic a fashion as the rest of the tale. I think that overall the story was well told, and in the end the details of issue(s) in the story itself were insignificant. That said, I think that the telling would have been better served had it not seemed to jump back and forth between first and third person viewpoints. Although some of that could be explained away as being part of the dream sequence, I thought that it could have been done in such a way so as to be more consistent. Perhaps breaking the story down even further so that whole scenes were from one perspective or another. There were some paragraphs where the reader seems to be presented with omniscient understanding of what was going on, including thoughts within the characters' heads but were never "spoken" and then the next paragraph would switch to a first person where the reader is only presented with information limited to that perspective. Those jumps, I can see, could cause some confusion but I didn't think we're severe enough to detract from the story overall.

From a details and plot standpoint, I thought more could have been done with Todd and the "accident." That was left just hanging out in the breeze. It, for me, was a loose end and readers generally don't like those...save for those who read only to criticize. I hope that my comments are read by the author and not too far into the drudgery of reading from other commenters how awful the work was, because it wasn't. It was imaginative, personal, erotic at sometimes emotional. I understand that the comments are a public forum and as such are for everyones' benefit (including other readers), but many of the comments left on this site are not constructive, and I would venture a guess that those that publicly tear down another's work are not following up with the author to provide any type of positive feedback.

Note to the author - keep at it. Despite whatever drawbacks there were in this submission (that I have commented on and I'm sure others have posted on as well, though can't speak to that last as I only read a couple of the comments left...) it was generally well written. You only get better if you learn from what others have said and keep writing. That said, don't try to please all the people all the time. It won't happen and will only serve to frustrate you which will in turn frustrate your readers and then everyone loses. I'm also left with the impression that there was no editor on this submission, mostly from some of the grammatical issues but if there was an editor I still have to tip my hat to them also as this was a long story when taken as a whole which can lead to oversights. You might want to shorten your submissions and submit them in smaller chunks to your editor so that some of the grammitcal issues can more reliably be caught and corrected, even if the final publication is long chapters for our reading pleasure, it will make life easier for the editor which will reflect more positively for you as well. I look forward to reading more of your work.

I actually thought it was a well constructed story. Lots of detail (almost too much) background and reminiscing over 30+ years.

You lost me somewhat with the solipsism. I just don't go for that as a possible reality.

I kept thinking during those chapters, what is happening with his grandson while he continues deeper into his wife's diary revelations?!

The final chapter was all right though.

Thanks and please keep writing!

after Maria, I'm done with this piece of shit author. I rate you 1* on principle.

Great LW and you pissed off the asshole of Lit, dear annony so much he she it IT is don't with you! That's a bonus!! Now you can write and this asshole won't be back!!!!! You want to bet. This fag doesn't miss any LW story!! It loves to read and get pissed off. IT reads every one of thee LW stories and then cries like the fag IT is!!

hi, diseased whore bonnietaylor, how's your aids going?

I'm happy with long stories but the situation became too extreme with her that it was clearly either a work of fiction by her (that would in itself have been very hurtful) or a dream as the titled suggested.

It would have been much more tense to:

- loose the title

- have her betrayal be more realistic

Then the story would have been much more tense with the reader believing she was cheating with all the accompanying emotions of betrayal, disrespect, heartache, anger, jealousy, hurt coming out before the actual dream was revealed.

Your grammar and writing was very poor in places and needs work but 4* for mammoth effort.

He dream/read the journal.....then he re-read the journal following the same line without the sex....then he went home and repeated the dream sex a again to Kathy. Seems to me like he told the same story three times? About the time he got the sledge hammer out of the garage I was ready for some revenge....you should have let him smash the cars before he woke up. I do like your stories and I hope you will have another coming soon.

True facts exposing such a wife on Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com

In your ending comment about guy staying with serial cheating wife I KNOW ONE.

He is her 3rd husband. She's cheated on him entire marriage. He knows he stays. He was going through divorce and in story right out of penthouse forum he is working as maintenance man in apartment complex this hot 40ish female comes out in shorts unbuttoned halter top exposing tanned 36C breasts offering a lemonade and asking him to fix vacuum cleaner. She is out of his league and he knows it. She is one overtly begging him for sex but until divorce is final she refuses. They get married. He likes showing her off to his jealous friends. He revels in their comments about how lucky he is. She is wild nd kinky in bed.

He is deathly afraid considering all the bragging he has done over the years to have it come out about he constant infidelity. Eventually it does. She has fucked friends and co-workers. It gets all ovr town so they move. She keeps right on and stories spread through Helena Montana. He knows he is fool but they are in 60s he is in bad health. He can still pretend and still shows her off.

Thing is he has been broken for years and her cheating is such public knowledge she doesn't even try to hide it snymore.

He stays at home on small ranchette and refuse to take cancer medication

You are a fourish story teller who barely deserved the one I gave you. Hope you got better because you got talent.

Ugh

And this one was so obvious because it was getting confusing fro Chpt 4 on. Ugh.

Overall a 3.5-star effort. But this part -the dream sequence reveal - gets a plain 3-stars.

The sexual escapades became so nauseating that I had to scroll through most of them. The dream wound up contradicting itself with reality so it got harder to understand.

This was not just a, 'dream sequence' that went on so fucking long, and had to be skimmed, but it WAS a 'nightmare sequence'. A sequence, that was just screwed from the get go.

All that time reading to be told it was only a dream

1/5 waste of time.

Well written and very entertaining. 5 stars

0 star - I hate dream stories.

The word dream is not shown in story tags.

Please be a bit more considerate of your readers choices.

I usually skip right to the comments before I read any story on this website and the story tags are right there.

On and on and on and on and on.

Horrified to know that at one point this was LONGER

Shaggy dog story about a lot of useless imagery

Disgusted that I read it all

What a waste of time