Operation: Final Fantasy Ch. 05

The second time he called her, the conversation was more abrupt. There was something different he couldn't put his finger on. Jessica seemed a little more distant, and even the phone call ended after no more than fifteen minutes; she said she had to go but he felt like he was getting the brush-off. Ryan hadn't talked to her since then.

He received a text from her every once in a while; he texted her back of course, but it was more of the basic "how are you/good to hear" type conversations -- if you could call it a conversation. All of his "we should catch up" texts were met with an "I'd love to but..."

The "but" meant she was either busy with something she wouldn't elaborate on, or she was sick, or a family member was in town. Then the cycle would repeat. It bothered him that she seemed to be avoiding him; more than that, it bothered him that she wouldn't open up and tell him what was going on.

Maybe she was back at work and in the full swing of things; after all, it wasn't his right to expect her to tell him about the customers she was seeing. He squirmed at that thought. Maybe she was traveling all over the country -- or even the world. He couldn't have been the only client to take a beauty like that to an exotic setting. It turned his stomach to think about that.

As if things weren't bad enough in his life right now.

Still, he would take what he could get. His heart always fluttered when she texted him even though he knew it wouldn't be more than a few words -- he at least cherished those few words. It was better than nothing.

It was depressing, but it was better than nothing. And despite everything he had been through, a simple meaningless text from her was the highlight of his day.

---

"I'm so sorry, Trixie, I had no idea he was so unstable, otherwise I would have never sent him to you," Madeline told Jessica sympathetically while taking a sip from her espresso, referring to her by her business name as she did with all of her girls.

She continued, "Normally, like you, I'm a good judge of character. I consider myself an intelligent woman. But I keep looking over his file, trying to figure out where I went wrong. I'm trying to figure out how I confused all the signs so easy. I mean, he almost killed himself, and I had no idea he was even about to."

Jessica sighed, nursing her iced latte. "Just remember, I'm telling you this in confidence. And don't blame him; it's easy to see why he snapped. I can't imagine losing anyone that close. He lost the two closest people to him. Who knows what any of us would have done in that situation."

"Well, what about you? Are you going to be ok?"

Crossing her leg over her knee, rhythmically bouncing it, she gave Madeline a delayed nod. "I will. I just feel so sorry for him. It was strange, though. We talked only yesterday, and even despite everything that had happened, we carried on the phone call like the best of friends. It was the best part of my day, easily."

Madeline gave Jessica a thoughtful look. "Are you sure you don't feel something more for him, like maybe you started to fall for him? That might explain how you confused the signs and misread him, as you pointed out, and why you still feel so crazy about him."

Tilting her head to the side and giving her a frustrated look, Jessica said, "Don't you analyze me, Madeline. My head is off limits. And I never said I was crazy about him."

Madeline laughed, "I've trained you too well, it seems. You'd think I forgot about your own analyzing skills and what you do for a living."

She smiled and shook her head, "You'd think so."

"Well, in that case, I'll just come right out and say it," Madeline started. "If you really do care for him even the slightest amount -- actually, especially if you care for him -- then you might want to think about giving him some distance."

She gave Madeline a puzzled look, "What?"

"Oh, come on, Trixie. I can read you like a book. You know, he isn't your client anymore. Which means you're technically done with him, and out of his life."

"I know he isn't, Maddie. It doesn't mean we aren't -- can't be -- friends. Besides, I told him I'd help him get through this. I'm not just going to sit on the sidelines."

"Trixie, think of all your past clients. Other than repeat customers, have you actually seen any of them? Are you friends with any of them? I'm not the bad guy for saying this, but you got too close to him. Do you really think you can do your job and still be there for him, as a friend or otherwise?"

Jessica gave her a blank look, but her eyes were starting to smolder with intensity.

"Look, hon. You know I love you." Madeline shifted, and tried to take another angle to get her to understand, "Look at it this way. If you really do look so much like Amanda, do you really think your presence is going to help him get over her? Or do you think it just might possibly make it worse?"

Jessica glared at her, although she knew Madeline made a good point. "Maddie, no. He said he sees me for me now; separate from her."

Madeline told her, "You know you have doubts in your voice when you say that."

Jessica frowned while Madeline continued, "You really should give him space. He needs time to heal. I think you know that."

She put her head in her hands. "Oh, Madeline!" She threw her hands up in the air, exasperated.

"I just don't think I can do that," she said.

Madeline nodded in understanding, but said, "Ultimately, if you care about him, you have to decide what is not just best for you, but what is best for him."

Madeline left it at that, allowing the uncomfortable silence to weigh down on her friend.

Breaking the silence, Jessica sighed, "Ok, maybe you're right."

She shook her head as if she immediately regretted saying that. "I-I can't just write him off, though. You know that! I told him I would be by his side, and I don't want to deceive him by disappearing off the radar. And if I tell him why I can't talk to him, well... he'd never go for it. And I don't blame him."

"Well," Madeline added, taking a sip from her espresso, "Maybe you can slow down a little, though. I'd stick to texting, maybe a few phone calls. Give him a chance to purge himself of you so he can do this without thinking about you, as much as you might hate that. Seeing him in person could be dangerous for him; it could remind him of Amanda.

"At least for now, hon. And remember, you're doing this for his sake."

She gave up, but the pain was evident in her eyes. She clearly didn't want to agree with Madeline, but saw wisdom in her words.

With an exasperated sigh, she said, "This might be best for him, but I'm still not sure it's a good idea. I'll try to give him his space. That doesn't mean I won't see him in person, though. At least periodically. I just... I don't want to hurt him any more than I already have. This is going to crush him. And it's going to be torture on me." She narrowed her eyes at Madeline, "You better be right!"

Madeline laughed again, "If I was wrong, you wouldn't be listening to me."

"I know," she said, trying unsuccessfully to give her a smile. "I have to leave, but before I go there is something else we need to talk about, Maddie..."