All Comments on 'OTK Ch. 05'

With the subtitle "Now for Granny", I expected it to be about you dominating your mother's mother. Then, you are talking about your "mother - in - law"..... then you were jumping back and forth, so which is it? I think it's supposed to be your grandmother, though I also question your mention of her age. The timing just doesn't seem right. I can only assume you got so excited with the telling of the story, that you may have actually come up with the original way you had intended to tell it. I still look forward to more. I just hope you can stick to which woman you are Dominating.

4 stars.

It's your mother's mother, but you refer to her as your mother-in-law instead of your grandmother. She, in turn, talks about being trained by her daddy, then talks about her husband. Perhaps a small re-write is in order to clear things up.

I am confused, couldn't follow the plot: first an aunt and niece get an arrival of a man with sex toys, moves on interactions between the 3 of them to what???

Put the story in order and have it believeable. Have someone proof read it before submission. The manner of where you put your verbs and nouns are all mixed up. Is English a 2nd language for you? Otherwise go back to school.

All of you proof readers need to calm down. Either enjoy the stories or move on. I hope you add more to the series. Thank you, I enjoyed them.

Got a little confused in this last chapter.

Idiotic drivel. Not worth the read. Btw your mom's mom is your grandmother not your mother in-law.

I really do hope that this story will continue. I would consider granny moving in with you and mummy, what do you think?

Couldn't bother finishing it. You don't know the difference between grandmother and mother in law. The women aren't subservient they are bullied. There is a big difference. Bet he doesn't get any more birthday presents from them

First 4 parts were great, this one abysma. Absolutely shit

Over 8 years old, you have not continued. Grandmother or Mother-in-law which is it? Are you just bulling them or making them submit? Check out the older comments. rewrite some of this, make it more submissive not bulling, get help with that. I have an idea use your wife as the submissive, instead of your mom. Have your mom and grandmother teach you what/how to do this. Your wife becomes submissive to all three of you.