All Comments on 'Our First Time'

HOW ON EARTH DID THIS GIRL GET PREGNANT? ONE MINUTE SHE'S GOT SPOTS, THE NEXT SHE'S GOT A BABY BOY. WHAT HAPPENED IN BETWEEN? DID YOUR EDITOR GET TOO KEEN WITH THE ERASER?

The reader gets so bumfuzzled by the illogical plot leap from wallflower to mother that any virtues the story has are lost because the reader is still gagging at the transition. Looks like a major case of no editor rather than overenthusiastic editing.

She gets pregnant without any sex?

Story had no pace, no timeline and the whole thing felt very rushed.

...something is missing. As I remember my pregnancies - there was something like eight to nine months between getting knocked up and giving birth. In this story it appears that she does this all in her first semester of college - three or four months. Besides I know that I was not really ready for hot sex within a month of either of my daughters - satisfying my husband yes, being eaten out no.

While this story has potential, it needs a serious rewrite.

Kinda of sort of, well, just a bit but then again, really all over the map.Nice idea for a story but it had great leaps of logic scattered throughout.

You have much potential and I hope you write again soon!!