by Jimyfoxx
A little too rushed toward the end. It took away the buildup effort. Wasn't expecting that since you have a lot of writing experience.
Got you three stars instead of five.
But the character development, the build-up. The sexual tension was at an all time high as I was as reading. Definitely deserving 4 or higher rating. I gave it 5. I hope more chapters will come.
I liked the set up, the build up, etc. Really well done. I hope you'll write more stories!
Loved how you took your time with the build up. Like the other comments I thought you could have taken a little more time at the end, but like in real life it’s full speed ahead. Great story and writing skills, I enjoyed very much.
Your "editor" did you no favors, It was okay, so I gave you three stars.
You have a knack for erotic storytelling. Your editor needs to clean up the grammar issues, of which there are many. Also, my personal preference would have been you spend more time describing the penetration moment. Keep at it!
A little case of coitus quickus, but other than some gramma issues the story builds nicely. Please keep on writing.
I loved it.
Some suggestions though if you ever write a similar story. Make Grandma just a little less hot, I got a mental picture of a MILF rather than a GILF. He’s 18 and a frustrated virgin, he’d probably fuck a hole in the wall to get off! And besides how realistic is it that an 18 year old boy would have a father driving such a flashy car, being a wealthy reader of the WSJ, AND having a grandma in her very early 50s. I am pretty sure he would still have fucked her if she was a little softer around the middle with less spectacular tits! ;-)
Also, he’s never seen a pair of naked tits before, never mind felt them! He would have a raging boner and probably shot his load if not as soon as he touched them, but certainly once he got her nipple in his mouth. And you know what, she would have loved this! And he’s 18, 5 minutes more kissing and a little handjob, maybe with a little oral would have him ready to fuck her.
But, I still loved it! It got me good and hard! Well done!
Sure wish my mom would've taken my virginity & taught me everything I needed to k ow 30 years ago. Sure would've saved me a lot of trouble.
I assume giving the age difference between them being 34 years that nan and his mum had the kids aged 16 or 17
Very nicely written , with a lot of tension build up and some very erotic moments
I would really like to read more of your Nana seduction stories , but maybe with the lady in question being a little older , mid sixties and full bodied , no botox...just pure mature femininity!! Nice !
Another cabin in the woods, how many are there. Father-daughter, grandma-grandson all at the same lonely cabin in the woods.
Good story, nice build up, but ends too soon. Like most of the stories on here sadly.