All Comments on 'Our Shared Bathroom Ch. 04'

You stole this story. You might have changed the names and altered some parts but I've read it here before, almost word for word... just can't come up with the actual story it's from :) But it's still hot.

I hope you keep the series going. I assume the previous comment was due to confusion about the reposting and renumbering of the parts.

keep the series going. great set of stories

Continue please good series are wonderful. and about the guy saying you stole it well most of the stories are most likely alot alike considering that the most popular incest type stroy is bro and sis so i dont think that this is stolen but maybe it is thugh i doubt it.

Definitely keep it going as it has the makings of a good one!!

Hey, those of you who think the author stole this story...they did. They stole it from themself. They wrote this story as chapter three originally, then wrote a new chapter three and made this the fourth so it looks like a new story. It's authentic.

UBER EROTIC!!!!

Keep the series CUMMING!!

Jen needs some "payback".

Wow, excellent writing and I love that the parents are getting involved. I just can imagine all the possibilities from this setup. Please write additional chapters.

Though I have liked this whole series, the idea that an American family would fall so easily into the incest mode is a bit hard to swallow (no pun intended). This country is so hung up it will ALWAYS be about 100 years behind the rest of the world sexually. Besides, incest, even in enlightened countries, is still a very taboo subject. Oh well, fantasy is as fantasy does...

The guy who thinks you stole the story is just jealous and hasn't the intelligence to think something as good as this up for himself, no imaginaton, perhaps he should try and write a story or two and put it up for public comment, keep the good stories coming.

I read first, Pure Heart Ch 01 and loved it...sweet siblings exploring each other with innocence and adoration for one another..

I couldnt wait to read Our Shared Bathroom...I read Ch 01 and CH02 with the same good feelings as Pure Heart Ch 01..

and then this sweet brother and sister went from innocent exploration to butt fucking and on to parental fucking..I stopped halfway thru the parental stuff so I have no idea where it went from there..

I know that so many like this but it stopped me dead..I will read Pure Heart Ch 01 and Our Shared Bath Ch 01 & 02 again and maybe again...They were lovely stories I could believe in..Don't get me wrong please. I think this author has a lot to offer..I just think there was much more to these siblimgs than having them turn into stroke sister and brother...

This is a silly series, it defies belief,it's a fantasy but to make it erotic it needs to have some sense of reality.

That is the best blow job I have ever read. Bravo!

The other story and the first two chapters of this story were superb. Romance, tenderness, and hot bro/sis sex. Chapter 3 went downhill with the anal. I got as far as the suggestion that the parents wanted to see the kids knockin' boots and stopped reading. Orgies with strangers, other relatives, animals, and who knows what are sure to be next. Romance and tenderness thrown out for a who gives a shit who you're sucking or fucking free-for-all. A shame. You have such potential.

I love this series; it's not believable, but it's a good story. At least he doesn't have a 10" prick to match her 38DD tits. But your writing is getting worse; you lose track of what you're saying, you misspell words, or use the wrong word [taught instead of taut]. An editor would let you concentrate on your story, and help you get the grammar correct.

When you brought the parents into it. Really cheapened the story, and the budding love. I can see parents coming to accept something after time, but no parent would be "OK" with their kids boffing each other. Not out the gate like that. Unrealistic. I stopped reading at that point, but as I was going to the next page to leave a comment, I saw the mother giving blow job instructions! Very unbelievable. Took it straight to a wank story...which are a dime a dozen on here...

It is almost like someone else took up the story line here. Lick it like a lollipop??? Come on! This would have been much more appealing had they explored and discovered all of these things TOGETHER, not with their parents. Ick!

as soon as ytou involved the parents this story got ruined for me, if mark and jen were SOOOOOO IN LOVE it should of been about them two and them two only

The shower scene was great...having her ask for more then more cock. Knowing she's going to get it all (and she wants him to cum in her ass), but he doesn't know that yet. Great. The sister/mom BJ scene was kinda weird, but hot. Didn;t like her coughing up cum. Think the mom should have offered to clean up the daughter--but I remember the mom doesn't like pre-cum or egg whites or, likely, cum either. Too bad.

Had a great story till this chapter. I'm not going to bother reading the rest. You took a great story and destroyed it by bringing in the parents.

what is wrong with you?! how could you have ruined the great story by adding the parents! its like the author that wrote ch 1-2 died.

with the addition of the parents i think the story becomes more unrealistic. i dont know it that was the authors intention but i would have preferred the secret romantic relationship

and while you probably dont need my assurance its still a really good story

amazing..

i was really enjoying your story but for me you spoil it by including the parents... just because broterh and sister get together does not mean automaically they involve everyone else .... for me im not going to bother reading anymore you lost me ...

I read all the comments from this story and I just want to say amazing. To all those haters out there... "if you want reality then watch some tv".This is suposed to be erotic fiction, key word fiction. So I just want to say keep up the good work I love it.

not going to lie this chapter throw me off u don't normally read these kind of story's that the kids/sibling's tell there parent's there having sex wit there bro/sis (<<<witch ever the case may be) and what surprised me the most was the parent's reaction and dissension but over all still a good read bit distasteful in my opinion about bring in in the parents tho but it wont stop me from reading the rest :p unless it go's

"parent x child" then il most likely be gone

bro/sis (witch ever the case may be) it still surprised me of the reaction there parent's had and the turn of events im abit distasteful of parent x child incest relationships but the parent's and child weren't intimate so it didn't bother me much aside from that i loved it and i will continue to read them all unless it go's in to a child x parent relationship then srry to say you will probably losses me at that point

oh my,,mom and dad voyeur/mom instructor,,,so hot,,,lost it on this one,,more calm now,,tired,ready for bed,,have to read the rest another evening,,, the best so far!

Sometimes I wish that society would not be so screwed up and something like this would actually prepare young men and women to know something about basic sex....in order to avoid the need to get into bad marriages just as a result of sex.

Though it seems quite fake and unrealistic. The parents agreeing not only so eagarly but also participating in a sexual act all in general let Alone in the same day. I found the story quite... Entertaining

I read the first three chapters and thought you did a very good job transitioning the siblings relationship into the sexual kind. The anal scene In my opinion came at a good time it didn't seem rushed to me, it happened so natural. I thought you were going to go with the "parents might find out" angle but the story quickly became silly when the dad said he was ok with his kids banging. You're a brilliant writer the words you choose paint the picture so vivid in the readers head and the creativity was very original in the first three chapters. I honestly got turned off to this I haven't read the next chapters but I assume from the way things are headed the big family orgy shouldn't be to far ahead. I demand a gritty reboot.

and then you ruined it by adding the parents. It was a hot, kind of sweet story of a brother and sister exploring sex together. You're a great writer, but this was disappointing.

Not a fan of the parents. Still an amazing story, I just like the brother and sister alone better

Half of the fun of something like this is sneaking around with a big secret, a taboo secret that your parents don't know about. It's like ruining a book by putting it on your High School English required reading list - making it officially approved kind of takes the zip out of it.

But I agree with another post that society would be a hell of a lot healthier if kids were given supportive lessons in sex from adults at an early age, rather than having it be treated as a horrible sin.

Oh, and one more objection - fathers in our society seem to be hard wired to dislike the idea of their daughters having sex at all. It is a bit too much of a credibility strain to think of a father being blandly interested in his son and daughter fucking!

I agreed with the other comments, the parents' involvement cheapens the story. It was really great and amazing for the first 3 chapters but the mum and dad involvement are really unnecessary and unrealistic. It takes away credibility of the story.

Boy did you ever screw the pooch on this story. I loved the first three chapters, but the parent stuff did not fit with the premiss you set up at the start of the story. Did you wake up one day and say gee how can I piss off my audience and shoot my story in the foot. I am in to the brother sister thing, but not father daughter and mother son thing. You have to have a line some where and it was not the same writing quality. Sorry.

I agree the parents' involvement is unrealistic, but it was GREAT! C'mon, folks. This is fantasy, and the way you wrote it was fabulous and really good fun. These negative writers just lack a sense of humor. I loved how hot the mother got, and you kept it almost "real" because you didn't cheapen your story by turning it into a generic over-the-top family gang-bang. The parents still wanted their privacy, at the end. Well done!!!!!

Your story was really hot until u involved the parents. And this part didn't have anything to do with the bathroom so if someone was reading it without reading the previous chapters they would want to know what is the corelation of the topic and story. Anyway u are still a good writer

the 1st 3 parts of your story were awsome... and totaly involving... i took my iphone with me to washroom and read part 3 in there cuz i really was involved...but this 4th chapter totally screwed the whole story :S parents :S that was a big turn off for me... i was happy that this story had alot of chapters and id be enjoying reading all of them but i guess ill stop here as the whole story is screwed now.

You have skillz though so i hope you give us something nice in future too :)

all the best

Hence it being called fiction,made up,not real,story great over your selves! Its the author's story,not yours,meaning he can write it should her wants! I thougt it was nice having the parents say that they didn't mind what the brother and sister were doing,and that they accepted it without question!

The first three chapters were super-HOT. And at the beginning of the fourth chapter when you wrote, “…out of respect, we continued to have boundaries. We gave each other privacy and lived day by day as normal. But we began to act more as a couple, complimenting our sibling affection” I thought, the author really gets it. He’s going to keep the story going by having these two people live their normal lives while stealing time periodically to act out their secret relationship. Boy was I wrong! As many others have pointed out, introducing the parents into the mix was not normal or realistic. I peeked ahead to the start of Chapter 5 and the story line now is back in place with my previous expectations…a weekend away for Jen and Mark; what could be make more sense? However, I still fear a pregnancy is looming like another story I read on this site. I hope I am wrong. Why complicate things with something like that? It defeats the whole eroticism of the story. Why not just let these two people enjoy each other until they realize it’s time for them to go their own way?

3 fantastic chapters...very realistic and very hottt but the 4th chapter is like someone have hacked your account and scrowed it....very talented though you just need someone to work with you and gives you opinions...i need a spell checker for my comment

Loved the first 3 parts, but this one seems a bit weird! Can't really imagine exhibiting sex to my parents - especially with my sister. Just wouldn't feel right! Can't imagine parents wanting to see such a thing and accepting it. Brrrr!!!

i really njoyd ch 1,2,3 bt dis one..i wish u d keep d parents outta dis!

The first 3 were awesome but this is 2 much. U supposed 2 leave the parents out of it. Thts wut make it sooooo sexy.

He supposed to be a good dad, but he ok with his kids banging each other? Plus he was ok watching them while his wife gave blow job instructions to her daughter who was sucking her son? I 'll read one more in the hopes it gets back on track, if not I'm gone. If I want weird I'll watch the twilight zone.

Man your first 2 episodes were realistic ,sexy , full of tabu but lusty love at the same time , I think I must had come like 4 times on your first 2 , and thought about it at work all day , but you sabotaged your own story ,the story went from "wow I can't beleive this ! they are so close to having sex yum!" on the first episode , to the second episode of "I wonder if they would get closer to have sex, or have sex!" and the quick penetration with premature ejaculation was cool and left it open for a better 3 part were I imagined it would culminate on a full on intecourse ,instead it was anal , I think it started going down hill from there but it was still acceptable and hot , but a girl that barely lost her virginity to her brother is open to have a huge penis in her butt hole the night after ? I would imagine she would still be full of mortification but her lust would have the best of her , oral should had followed with anal at the very end a few pregnant scares should had followed or almost getting cought between acts would had added adrenaline and adventure to the emotion , the parents watching feels like what they did to the Matrix on part 3 .. you had one of the best stories going and you derailed it , start over with a new sister brother relationship or even first cousins , you are a good writter , I want to read from you again .

I fully agree with other readers.the 1 st 3 chapters are awesome.you should have left the parents out of the story.it's too much !it's exagerrating!.anyway,when reading the first chapters.i had a terrible hard on and had to jerk my cock and cummed in several jets!

Agree w/most, Mom&Dad seemed like warp speed at this stage of the game. The writing and flow was still strong but its almost like you lost interest in the subtlety of these charc and amped them up to get you re interested in writing them.

I couldnt knock it down to a 4 simply because I didnt like the more aggressive choices you made this time out. Its still solid solid writing, just out of my scope of interest.

I hope you do subtle more not just for my own benefit but because its may be the most refined tool in your toolkit (the first chpt was exquisite with this) Subtle is not seen here near enough but I totally understand if you merely wanted the challenge of writing a more realistic "special circumstances" scenario. You did it better than most but I still wonder if your talent is fully served when you do more strokish work.

But whatever keeps you writing and interested is whats important. We can't love a story you never get excited enough to write. Ill always take another swing at the ball rather than heading back to the dugout

This chapter added another dimension to the story. And if I had to guess, it will only get hotter in the next chapters.

One quibble: you wrote "vain" where you meant "vein," as in the veins of Mark's penis. Spell-checking your text would not have caught this, but grammar checking would. I'd recommend a post-2003 version of MS Word which has a spell- and grammar-checking tool that would have warned you of this before you posted it.

Involving the parents was too much. Unrealistic.

I would not have Mom and Dad watching.

Adding the parents was too much. It really takes away from the story. The first three chapters were great but this one seems unrealistic because you added the parents too quickly. There was no build up.

Adding the parents ruined it. It's not believable, and it detracts from the love they supposedly feel for each other. Ditch the folks!

The first two chapters were brilliant. The third was passable. This chapter was terrible. You had done a great job setting it up, and letting things build naturally. Then it just went off the deep end. Sorry, but I don't think I'm gonna finish the series. I was really digging it, though. Maybe a rewrite would be better. Just play out their relationship slowly and naturally like you had started. If you want to bring in the parents or whatever (you shouldn't), do it later after you've finished the main story. Otherwise it was an A+ set-up and premise.

After the ruined credibility in part 3 by having them do anal in the shower before a real first kiss or any couple development details, I figured I'd cautiously keep reading the series and hope you'd get back to the quality tale of the first two parts. Instead this submission just took a dump all over your carefully drawn bro/sis adventure by turning it into over-the-top stroke porn. The parents and the exhibitionism just derailed the fantasy completely.

Even the quality of the editing fell apart (taught/taut) as if someone else had hijacked your good name to submit this chapter. It's so sad to see a promising start turn out so poorly.

you just went too far.

Surprise !!! Yes, this was a surprise.

Never read anything like that.

Parents like that are not amishious, I bet.

But as a fantasy ok. Merry Xmas.

Was just about to praise you for breaking the mold by creating characters and a plot that just barely crossed the line of believability. Fantastic writing style, talented story creating, the dialogue and relationship between brother and sister captured perfectly.

And you went and ruined everything with this. Went completely into the realm of unbelievability and in doing so, removed the reader from the hook, the addiction, the immersion you crafted because we're too busy not believing this plot twist. Destroyed the atmosphere you created of this being an intimate, awkward, playful story of two siblings, sucked out everything that made this more than porn.

I don't usually comment on smut because I don't expect great things from it. Problem is, you've created art. Don't ruin it. Please rework this chapter with the same style and keep writing.

The parents are cool with everything, could it get any better?! I think Jen and Mark's parents should let their kids watch some porn, or better yet, have sex in different positions in front of them. They're all adults now, nothing better than interactive teaching/learning.

The overall series is still wonderful, but I am purposely going to ignore this chapter because it is completely random and including the parents is pure WTF.

You totally RUINED the whole story with including the parents!!!!!

OK?

To mr moron i see you stay anonymous, so brave eh...

Firstly, you have no idea of how clever it was to include the parents, secondly if your so friggin good then you put up a story for us to read and then we can judge you, till then shut the fuck up !!

Like so many on this commentary, I thought the first three chapters were excellent. I am fine with suspension of disbelief required for such excursions, I do not require "realism".

I have to agree, though, that this went off in the wrong direction. I like the first three chapters enough to ignore the fact that the description for this one gave warning of where it was going, but I shouldn't have. I didn't get through this one. It just doesn't fit, and become ordinary for this site.

I have read other stories that involved the parents, and they worked, but this one didn't. It didn't fit. Maybe if only one parent had become involved, or had done so clandestinely, I don't know.

I will give the next chapter a try, to see if it gets back on track, but I am not hopeful. I will gladly try your other stories, though. The earlier parts of this one were vivid.

Unlike the last comment, I liked the direction this chapter took. I, being the perv I am, would have involved mom a little more in the showing of a proper bj (like showing her). Keeping dad out of it until the next chapter is the way I would have gone. If not, I would have somehow included him in the experiment. This is not to say this chapter wasn't good. It was. I like your descriptions. I like your realism even if the chapter takes a bit longer to write. It allows more visualization of what's happening without all the "fake" stuff. I think realistic expectations is what makes a good read, letting you actually feel it. Keep writing!!

I have to agree with some of the other comments. Great story up to Mom and Dad being okay with the two kids banging each other. It doesn't fit with the innocent exploration of the previous chapters.

i liked this chapter as well. like the "interaction" with mom. 5 stars. well-written as well.

You lost me with the mom and dad. I am not opposed to them joining in, but the way it happened was a bit suspect and pretty unrealistic, even for a fantasy story.

Uhhh, unless he is like four inches long, shouldn't he have been like 2 or 3 inches into her throat if he was all the way in? Anyways, I love how accepting they were of Jen and Mark having sex, that was a breath of fresh air honestly! And mom teaching her how to give her brother a blowjob was actually rather endearing. The blowjob itself was hot!

Okay, okay...you really need to get an editor...

"Vain"=a person who is stuck on themself; narcissistic;

"Vein"=a large blood vessel that returns blood to the heart; THAT is what you are referring to when you talk about the blood vessel on the underside of a man's penis...PLEASE LEARN THE DIFFERENCE!!

This kind of mistake is quite distracting, and has been going on for the chapters!!

Other than this, the story is SSSSOOO fun to read, it is entertaining...and nasty with the people involved...

To "JAGNAG"-from 5 years ago, I absolutely agree with you about the anonymous comment about the author being a "moron".

To ALL readers out there...if you cannot hold the negative comments like this, please go somewhere else to read, and keep your comments in your head. Obviously, there are quite a few of us who do not APPRECIATE your 'thoughts', nor do we think you are brave by hiding behind the "Anonymous' banner.

There, I said it...go ahead and DOG me now...

I liked the fact that mom and dad were open to accepting that their children were intimate with each other, but the whole voyeurism thing killed it for me. You're only a half step away from them swapping partners with the father asking the son to rate his mother's tits. I sincerely hope that you don’t go to the Daddy-Daughter/Mother-Son orgy.

But my gut is telling me that you're no different than a lot of other writers who have the entire family screwing everybody indiscriminately. 2/5