All Comments on 'Out of This World Pt. 01'

Really good details about the characters... Looking forward to reading more. Very erotic

No but you infected her with stuff

First off, this was a great story, definitely a lot you can do with the plot and characters you have formed. My main concern is when you are doing erotica you need to make the readers picture what's happening in their heads. The readers need to feel it. So what you need is more detail. It was the biggest cock she had ever seen how did she feel with it all the way down her throat? What did his skin feel like on hers? Little things like that, details, get it in the readers head for a really good response.

I want more of this story please, it's a very great and cum inducing story.