Over Exposure and Fantasy

There's just something special about a spring day out in the country. That's where I am now, sitting comfortably and typing on my iPhone. It's the kind of day where I didn't really need to build a fire. I did so anyway because I love the sounds it makes, sending a hot draft whistling up the chimney to join with the song of the swirling breezes outside. It reminds me of the times I had growing up here and while I don't spend as much time away from the city as I'd like to, I come out here just to sit and daydream every chance I get.

I left rural life, as many young people did around here, for a chance at an education. I couldn't have been any greener in the ways of the world outside of farm life. I had good grades and was easily accepted into the University. It was a place referred to in hushed tones of reverence out in these parts. Trouble was, once I got there, I was always looking over my shoulder, waiting for someone to point and yell, "Fraud! This hick doesn't belong!" Oh brother, how green I was.

I moved into an apartment just before classes started. It was the second cheapest place I could find. That's always been my policy; don't go for the worst. This second worst place suited me just fine. It had lots of antique character and charm others might have written off as dilapidation. "Whatever, their loss," I said to myself as I got the last of my things moved into the place.

I had just the basics, mind you, nothing fancy. My favorite things were the antique bed and armchair. They fit right in with the claw foot bathtub and old hot water radiators. The place started looking eerily like a time warp had taken place, except for an old throw away TV set I had rescued from the dump. That thing just looked depressing.

I found that, for the first time in my life, I enjoyed going to school. I especially liked seeing the beautiful females that were all around the campus. The warm weather stuck around longer than usual that year and the young ladies wore things that made me ache to touch them. Instead I just worshipped from afar. I learned early on not to get caught staring. It wasn't like looking at the girls in the magazines; these women could look back at you. But what heterosexual man could resist looking?

They wore things like gleaming black satin pants, leather mini skirts with nylons underneath along with sexy high heels and many sported big, bouncy breasts with lots of cleavage showing. All their eye appeal and fragrances kept me in a merciless and constant state of arousal.

I remember walking behind one woman who had an outrageously sexy set of legs and derrière stuffed into a tight leather mini skirt. She took lengthy and confident strides with her long, muscular legs. Her broad hips swiveled and swayed provocatively, causing her big, impressive buttocks to rotate and flex under her sinfully taut skirt. My erection grew as I walked along behind her and watched intently.

My heartbeat pounded in my ears, keeping time with the click clack of her high heel shoes, echoing their way down this outdoor corridor. Her wildly erotic scent filled my sinuses and caused my erection to strain with even more insistence. I imagined what it would feel like to have my hard rod between her thighs as she walked. I wanted so badly to shoot my hot cream all over her pantyhose encased crotch and inner thighs.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd been so aroused. I wondered if she heard my footsteps behind her and if she had any idea how hard she was making me down there. When I would later fantasize about her, what would send me over the edge was her icy indifference to me and my engorged penis and all of my sexy intentions towards her.

In my fantasy, she would be impossible to arouse, even after having me perform oral sex on her. I had always had a strong urge to put my lips and tongue to a woman's sex organs, even before learning that normal people did such things. She would then stand up, slide the hem of her skirt back down and laugh at my attempts to please her. When I imagined her bending over to pick up her bullwhip I would always orgasm and the fantasy sequence would be over. I wasn't aware of strap on sex back then but I'm sure if I had been, she would have been wearing a big squirting phallus in the fantasy as well.

The weather turned cold in mid November and, although I now felt more at home in my apartment, I didn't feel comfortable masturbating there. I enjoyed the build up of sexual tension during the week and would only release it during my weekend stays at the farm. When a blizzard struck the city, I was stuck there for the weekend for the first time with no self induced climax in my plans.

It was definitely warm in the apartment, all too warm in fact. The old timey boiler in the building's basement was overactive, causing me to start sleeping nude for the first time ever. I even walked around the apartment nude. I quickly learned not to handle sharp knives or fry bacon while nude, however.

I became more accustomed to the sight of my naked body and almost answered the door nude a couple of times. The steam heat I was now living with was easing my back tension and my flexibility was the best it had ever been. When I was a kid at the farm, we had a bathtub but no running water. Want water? Go pump it then. Want hot bath water? Start a fire and heat it up. I had never sat in a bathtub full of hot water before and it felt great.

Being alone and unsupervised had changed me. Besides being happily naked most of the time, I had put on some muscle. I could eat as much as I felt like eating and my scrawny form had filled out. My penis had gotten much thicker and longer lately too. I was growing more chest hair also. It was like a second puberty was taking place. Maybe it had something to do with my constantly high level of repressed sexual energy, maybe not. Who knows?

That weekend I spent in the city was one of deep snow and low temperatures. I walked to the corner store and got quite a chill in me by the time I returned. I opened my apartment door and was, once again, instantly shrouded by a cloud of steam. It's funny how I would forget about the boiler that still wasn't fixed. In I went and immediately got out of my clothes.

I went straight to the bathroom and started filling the tub. While this was going on, I walked over to the window to see if maybe I could open it. Nope, damn, stuck as usual. I had a curtain across the bottom half of the window so I wasn't worried at all about exposing myself to the world outside. I'd often stand there and watch the traffic go by, absent-mindedly rocking my hips, causing my cock and balls to brush heavily against my legs.

There, once again, I stood watching the world outside pass by. A bus stopped at the traffic light below. I could see the curly blonde hair and red lips of a very beautiful young woman passenger, visible through the one bus window that was currently frost free. This inspired me to take a closer look and I stepped closer to my window.

My bare cock pulsed in response to the sight of her and swelled to an impressive size but didn't become fully erect. Just as I raised up on my tip toes she turned her head and looked up towards me. Her eyes flew open and her hand covered her mouth. I thought, "What's the big deal?"

Apparently she had seen something that she felt was a big deal because she started motioning to her friends on the bus. Four girls were now crowding to the bus window, all looking up wide eyed in my direction. I thought there must be something of great interest happening in front of my building so I stepped up to my window as closely as possible so I could see what was causing all the fuss down below.

I felt my the head of my long, heavy and nearly erect but still swinging member touch glass. The bus rocked sideways as the young ladies on the bus jumped in their seats and started screaming and pointing.

To this day, I swear that I could hear the sound they made, a mixture of screaming and howling of female laughter as the bus pulled away. The high humidity in the place had very recently disintegrated the curtain covering the bottom half of my window, not that I had noticed until now. It was in a state of shambles, as was my nervous system. My stomach lurched as I stumbled back, away from the curtain that had betrayed me and exposed my most private of parts.

The tub was nearly overflowing. I felt numb as I stepped into its soothing, almost too hot water. I lowered myself in and watched the water cresting to the top of the tub's perimeter. An eddy current formed around the tub's overflow fitting. Watching the swirling water mesmerized me and I relaxed.

I couldn't stand that my bare manhood had been so recently and completely exposed and leered at. I reached down between my legs to grip my cock shaft. It didn't feel like it was completely mine anymore after having made its public debut. I felt it stiffening in my hand. This annoyed me. After being so embarrassed and humiliated, I wanted to ignore, or better still, be in control my erections.

I got tired of sitting in the tub with its now cooler temperature. Rising up out of the water, I felt very relaxed and loose but also strangely heavy and unbalanced. I sat on the edge of the tub and tried to pull the chain connected to the tub's drain plug with my toes while reluctantly stroking my hard sex shaft.

Of course, the chain had to break. "Oh, what a day," I mumbled as I groped around in the soapy water,looking for the chain's end. I ended up in an awkward position as I leaned forward, stretching to reach down into the soapy water. Oddly, I felt something touch my chin. What was even more odd was that I felt something touch the tip of my penis at the same time. I raised my head in curious surprise, sizing up the situation.

I had, for the time being, forgotten about the window incident. Now I had a real interesting predicament to ponder. Feeling oddly detached and more like a man of science than a sex starved twenty something, I ducked my head down towards my bulging sex organs. My nose made contact with my pinkish glans easily, with no straining whatsoever.

I immediately pulled back and dropped my head to my lap again. This time I allowed my erect penis to brush along the underside of my chin as I I lifted my balls and found that I could also touch them to my nose. I sat upright and looked straight ahead. I felt like I had butterflies in the pit of my stomach as it occurred to me now, a certain something I could do next, that was a very real possibility.

I squeezed my still slippery and wet thighs together and leaned back. This caused my freshly washed cock and balls to stand up invitingly above my flexing thigh muscles. It had been days since my last fantasy fueled climax and I had began pre-coming already. I asked aloud, as if to no one,"Should I do this? Should I suck my own cock?" My stiff member pulsed strongly, as if to answer my question for me.

I looked cautiously around the room, as if someone might be watching me. I lowered my head until my lips touched the end of my member. I sat up quickly. I realized that I had, in effect, just kissed a penis. Even if it was my own, I felt a strong sense of guilt just then which only worsened when I found a drop of clear pre-come on my lower lip. I shamefully wiped it away and washed my face thoroughly before going to bed.

I couldn't sleep that night. I was in an urgent state of needing sexual release. Thinking about those young women on the bus viewing my swelling penis bothered me but my thoughts of committing auto felatio bothered me more. The bedsheets caressed my naked skin and inflamed my need for sexual release. I writhed around, trying to deny all my pent up sexual energy. Even if I did fall asleep now, all I would do is have sex dreams and the come I had now stored up would make for a messy wet dream. I grew more sleepy as the time passed, watching the traffic light's changing colors wash across my bedroom's interior.

I fell asleep eventually and dreamt I was one of the ladies that had seen my sizable semi erection in the window. I was now the curly haired blonde arousing herself while imagining sucking and stroking a stranger's come filled, erect cock. In my dreaming, I became semi lucid. I knew I was dreaming but could control my actions. I felt up my breasts and stroked my curvy thighs and highly rounded derrière. I imagined closing my red lips around that mushroom shaped glans and started rubbing my...cock? How could I imagine playing with my pussy? I'd never felt one before.

The logic flaw in the dream woke me up, luckily, as I was very close to climaxing. I didn't want to have to wash my sheets again so soon so I considered the possibility of sucking myself off just to get it over with. "Once the first time is over, I can live with the shame," I told myself, convincingly, although I still had my doubts.

I positioned my hips over my face with my sex organs trapped firmly between and somewhat behind my legs. I could still back out and know that I had successfully resisted acting on my urges. I liked my pubic hair brushing against my face and I sucked and licked at the flesh of my thighs. I tried to pretend a woman was doing all this, causing me to shiver with lust. I couldn't help but wonder what performing oral sex on myself would feel like.

My resolve weakened. My erection slapped against my face as I allowed my legs to part. I humped and prodded at my cheeks with my hard on. My hands gripped my buttocks, steering my hips in lustful motions. I turned my head from side to side, avoiding oral contact with my hard and wanting cock.

I finally had to admit to myself that the velvety head of my sex staff would feel very nice against my lips. I was, so far, not allowing the end of my rod to enter my mouth. I could quit now; I had not sucked cock yet. I kissed my glistening, throbbing glans briefly and felt immediate regret. I wiped my secretions off of my lips in disgust without tasting it.

Undecided of my limits, I switched my attention to my testicles. My nose nestled into my scrotum, my balls were full and ached. I tipped my head back and kissed them, one at a time and sucked them partially into my mouth. It felt unbelievably good to have a mouth and tongue exploring me there. My blood was roaring and pounding in my ears, my legs were trembling with desire and I knew was going to go all in, so to speak. Regrets be damned.

I made a fist around the end of my throbbing penis. I darted the tip of my tongue into my fist, barely touching the sensitive knob held within. I was tasting pre-come for the first time and I loved it instantly. I parted my lips widely and lowered my cock into my open mouth. I just let it hang there for a while with no lips, tongue or inner cheek walls touching it. My clear sex nectar dripped into my mouth and I swallowed it hungrily, craving it like nothing I had ever tasted before.

No more guilty feelings now, this cock of mine was mine to suck and that's what I proceeded to do. I closed my mouth around it. I did this suddenly, not allowing anymore thoughts about turning back to stop me. I closed my wet lips around my tensing shaft and fluttered my tongue against the underside of my glans simultaneously.

The second my mouth sucked onto my hard cock, my hips bucked involuntarily downwards. My gleaming sex shaft disappeared, over and over again, into my hot sucking mouth. I licked and gulped at myself with wretched abandon.

I was overwhelmed by the reality of what I was doing to myself. I kept going though, I couldn't stop, it all felt so damn good. I felt waves of pleasure course through me as I pulled the skin of my cock shaft up around my cock head and swirled my tongue around and around the ridges and contours of my own sex. I moaned in ecstasy at these new sensations and I knew I was getting dangerously close to spurting into my mouth.

I continued to self-suck and lick my turgid member until I felt my familiar and much needed orgasm starting. The salty, sweetness of my pre-come turned just slightly more tangy in flavor just as I pulled my cock out of my mouth. My semen erupted rudely and forcefully all over my chest and ran down into my navel and armpits. I laid there in the dark, panting softly and satisfied. I thought aloud," I really need to find a girlfriend."

I had nearly drifted off into a blissful yet troubled sleep when I recalled I was still covered with my ejaculate. I cupped my hands to the thick, but now runny, come on my chest and belly so as not to make a mess on my way to the bathroom. I could barely look at my reflexion in the mirror as I cleaned myself thoroughly. I felt I had crossed a line and done something I now regretted. A cock, my own, had been in my mouth and I could barely believe what I had done. Worse yet, since it had felt so very good, I doubted that I could resist doing it again.

I went back to bed, this time pausing to put on my pajamas. They made me feel silly and childish but also more in control of myself. It gave me a sense of separation from the man who had just blown himself to a climax, just the thing I needed to get to sleep again.

I slept in past my usual wake up time and made a point of keeping busy throughout the day ahead. I had lots to do around the apartment. I studied my textbooks and did a lot of cleaning. That was the day the city decided to close the bridge by my apartment building to do emergency repairs and the sudden lack of traffic noise made me feel oddly isolated. Around supper time, I counted my cash and set out to get in on the two-for-one pizza deal down the street. One to eat in, one to take home, was my plan.

On returning, with my spare pizza in hand, I noticed something on my floor beneath the mail slot. "What the..." I asked as I suspiciously stepped around the object. My eyes adjusted to the room's lighting as I bent to pick it up. To my amazement, I found myself holding a pair of red, frilly panties. Goosebumps spread across my skin as I caressed the cool silky material and ran my trembling fingers along the lacy border of the satin under garment.

I instinctively raised the panties to my face and inhaled a strange and new fragrance. This sweet and exotic scent caused my phallus to spring an instant erection. I couldn't resist taking my cock out and stroking it while holding the lingerie to my face. My orgasm built fast and I ran to the sink to unload my come. I stuffed the pantie's crotch into my mouth as I erupted, tasting the female who had last worn them against her hot, slick pussy. My needs taken care of, I was left to wonder who put them through my mail slot. I immediately thought of the young women on the bus. It must have been her, but how could I be sure?

Later that night, I slipped into the panties and reveled in the smooth and erotic sensation of them against my skin. I imagined the woman they belonged to was about to sit on my face and have me give her an enthusiastic tongue lashing. What was I becoming? First I sucked my cock, now I was cross dressing. "At least I'm not hurting anyone with all this," I told myself.

Aroused, I once again swung my legs up and around my head. I inhaled the intoxicating scent of the sweet fabric between my legs as my satin covered balls rested against my watering mouth. I proceeded to treat my throbbing member to another self-sucking. This time, inspired by the red panties' presence, I allowed myself the slightest taste of come before pulling out and finishing on my neck and chin. It was unlike pre-come in flavor, but not unpleasant. Although I was intrigued by the idea of going all the way and swallowing a full load, it was outside my comfort zone. I slipped out of the panties and wrapped them around my softening cock. I thought fleetingly again about the pretty blonde girl on the bus as I drifted off to sleep.