All Comments on 'Oversimplification of Amy Ch. 02'

Is not the one who is immature.

Michael needs to dump Kathy and take Amy for his live in girl and get over his fear of Amy's sister and Kathy. Like you said in the story she and Michael are NOT exclusive so let Mike and Amy have the life they were meant to have. A warm and loving relationship with a little spanking thrown in for fun.

But there's lots of immaturity floating around.

Okay, despite the dated 'lingo' I was trying to get into this and see where it was going. I just can't anymore, there are too many little irritations in it for me. The repeated use of 'Doll', 'Doll-face' and whatever else Michael uses as a term of endearment just seem, off. The speech feels stunted throughout, with very little contractions or abbreviation, apart from the really strange shorting of 'hormones' to 'mones', which I personally have never heard anyone use.

Michael as a character also rubbed me the wrong way, as at some points he would feel innocent and naive, then would be a little vulgar and forward but still act as if he was being a gentleman. I mean, he's got a girlfriend and doesn't want to cheat on her but kisses and molests a girl in the cinema but tells his girlfriend it's totally innocent, believing that himself? Amy tells him she loves him and wants to have sex but he doesn't want to cheat on his girlfriend, so he naturally invites Amy to stay with him, drink some wine and have a naked massage? What does he think constitutes cheating?

Then there is the numerous errors throughout the writing, I mean I can read past it as you get used to it on this site but, it's just everywhere. For example,"...you hand are so strong!...", isn't that bad but it's only something that a computer spell check won't catch, which seems to be similar to all the errors present.