All Comments on 'Ownage Ch. 01'

I could not get past the first few paragraphs due to numerous grammar errors. Please find an editor.

This might have been a good story if you had given more background info...or even a plot...this sucked....this is not BDSM either because all things are discussed unless your a slave and then he would have taken control...not been the clueless boyfriend

You need an editor....badly! Every sentence seems to start with "we", sentences are short and choppy...there is no flow. Adjectives are simple and repetitive. Sorry, can't give this more than a 2.

This story was difficult to read because it had not been edited or run through the spell checker. Even asking someone to read the story over before posting would have helped. I can't give this a rating because of the errors.