by emma579
Overwrought - we won't get into about the extent of disbelief the premise of the story requires i.e., a woman with some experience with men's bodies couldn't/wouldn't notice that the man screwing her was fifty rather than twenty
The twist - that father poaches on his son's (and son's friends') hunting grounds is clever, particularly if (we don't know in this case) if the son wasn't in on it. Maybe, somehow, the girl the son is hoping to nail goes to a different room - not the one son had picked for himself - and couples with dad. She wonders why the guy is slower and much more skillful - and has an ever so small gut - but is oh so good - compared to the frat boys she's used to
Nice twist. Hmmm...
If you want "real" then watch movies. This was a nice deviation.
Enjoyed this story. Puzzled at the low score it received, but some readers are too particular, if a story isn't just what they want they damn it. I know, but its something we writer's have to live with.
Nice writing.
Paris Waterman