All Comments on 'Pass'

but the tension you built up in the first part evaporated when he was called in to take care of 'Millie.'

You lost it a bit when she said his questions would wait until they were 80 - hell, it's a story, we'd like to know!

You really lost it when he gave her back the pass and gave her permission to use it, apparently without stop. Now, where was the guy who was devastated and really wasn't into sharing his wife?

It's not the secret of the universe it's a story for heavens sake

By way of contrast, the drama away from the bedroom skewed towards the artificial end of the spectrum. The allegedly outraged wife had a bit of ringmaster to her makeup & the husband seemed to be content with beta status as long as he gets his ashes hauled.

Another words, the outlook for their marriage is mostly sunny with a ten to twenty percent chance of clouds emitting precipitation made up of other people's bodily fluids.

Women usually raise more questions when they pretend to answer them.

Was utterly distracting and just plain stupid. Couldn't keep reading. Sorry.

The premis was good, but I thought you passed up too many opportunities for drama, Everybody seemed good with everything, too rosy. Carol with the wife would have played better as blackmail-rape. Something she was forced to do. Instead it amounted to a happy reward. Of course the husband was rewarded here too, or you could have made it more unpleasant for him

The GOOJF card was a good device, more anxiety on the husband's part would have fed the cuck fantasy, but when the wife was calling her lover, it's too much for him, he can't take it and walks out feeling wretched. Now when she needs him as the price of admission to her fuckfest, she has to call him on his cell, go to him to ask for his cooperation.

When women say 'she has a nice personality' in my limited experience, she's really ill favored.a real dog. She should have had to give something in return. Great sex scenes, by the way, so post party, she tells him her guy was just eye candy, nothing special. He figures she's lying to make up to him, I would have him tell her he got the best sex of his life! Mind blowing, howling fantastic. On an on about doing stuff the wife never did. Wide open woman, do anything... Where did she find such a woman? Does she know anyone else like that...Now the wife's upset, and worried. He reassures her that they are even, in fact you could say she's ahead as she had too fuckfests to his one, but he has learned a lesson. Have him ask of the couple, which one has the money? Wife is really nervous. That night,she spots something in his left hand, and it's an email with several letters smudged. She confronts him, he admits they are the woman's but says "Damn, I forget the rest of it. Wife is now really worried, and we've come in a circle. So more conflict, the losers become winners, and back to loser, plans go awry. It would have been a really great story and risen well above the crowd. Or maybe not. I enjoyed it as is.

Chilley..

this story isn't quite perfect, just very good. No, say excellent. On reflection, say it was very excellent. Fuck it, it was perfect, fun, sexy and fresh. I loved it!!!!!

I liked it, almost despite myself, since this is not my usual type of story. Hubby had a fairly relaxed notion of fidelity from the get-go, so I was able to accept his rather blaise reaction to his wife's intended use of the pass. He had anxiety, but accepted it as the price he had to pay. The wife seemed decisive, yet possessing a sense of fair play. I thought the initial payback (the weird threesome) was strange and completely unrealistic, but it did serve the purpose of setting the stage for this couple's willingness to push their sexual boundarlies. I couldn't help but think the wife set it up for hubby to participate with the other couple from the get-go. Maybe hubby being a 'good boy' about her intended use of the pass confirmed her in her plans. They had a blast, he more than she (or so she says), so his returning the pass to her seemed like a trust move to me (or maybe he's hoping she sets up some more swapping for them both). Who knows? Who cares? Hubby seems perfectly cool with swinging, and has a renewed sense of confidence in himself and his relationship. I thought the sex writing was pretty hot, too. A quirky, but kinda fun tale, entrenched firmly in the fantasy realm.

Thanks for sharing.

He goes from worried sick about his wife having sex with someone else to lets do it again? Huh?

He was a wreck thinking about her seeing another man. The deal with the girfriend was bad enough and should have finished the payback but no - she wanted a whole night with making love to another while he had a 3 minute quicky...yes, he was wrong but the trade is different.

Not said, her making love to another is making love, a total break in fidelity and the probable end to most marriages and, accordiong to your description of our guy, a finish - he wouldn't handle it...tears!

So, you wrote well, came up with an interesting plot but you changed the psychy of the melodrama as it unfolded.

Most men would have hoped she changed her mind and then when she didn't would have told her that she should have divorced him 3 years earlier. In otherwards a 3 min quickee was not good but not emotional, romantic or loving and she chose, with a sober and calculating mind, to have an affair.

The guy you described could not spend a lifetime knowing his wife cold heartedly picked a stud to Make LOVE with and for the rest of their lives he would always wonder if there was another(s)? No, in fairness he would not necessarily hate or despise her but would encourage her to move on and let him go his own way, no recrimination and no bitter retribution.

Oh, and he was introduced as one of her boy toys? So, was she a player and he didn't know it. Actually, I don't think so but would suggest you pay attention to your description of characters and events.

Good story otherwise

and the piper is to be paid, tis better to regroup-reboot-and look around, TK U MLJ LV NV

Their relationship is a train wreck about to happen. Leave her and be done with it.

Even if everything you wrote was valid, their fidelity up to her date night, his worry about her having another man, I had a little trouble with two things

1-He gets a quickie and she gets to Make Love with a guy for a whole night and he agrees to it?

2-This is her thing but now she asks him to accommodate her lover by being a good boy toy and fucking lovers wife, so he gets another piece of tail out of it?

And, finally, for a guy in turmoil and concerned for his wifes fidelity he hands her the pass and suggests she do it again?

I like a good fantasy story but you have the characters all over the place. Good premise for a story, too bad you screwed it up, I was starting to enjoy it!

But he should have maned up and gotten a divorce. He was a cheater, she was a slut. Time to go.

After that first night with Carol he should have beat his about to be ex-wife to the bank, cleaned out the accounts, cancelled the credit cards and cell phone, taken his name off everything, packed his things and headed for the hills. Time to be gone!

- Wife's "Free Pass" turned into his excuse to run amok.One taste of her allowing him to lambaste "Plain Jane" would lead him to figuring since wifey just about admitting that she wouldn't do half of what she watched hubby do,he now had the leverage to give her the ultimatum. Either become my fuck slut,or let me get someone who will! This marriage is DOOMED!

On the road to divorce but they both agreed to it so no harm no foul

Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com

Fair is fair, tit for tat. Returning the pass at the end killed the character. Hidden duck shit. Went from 4 stars to one in a flash.

Loved the beginning. Loved the girl on girl seduction and worry on the husband's part. The tension in the run-up to using the pass was great. Not so great was getting the husband involved with using the pass--what happened to the punishment of the pass? Did enjoy the "frat boy" treatment of the mouse, loved the fact that Edward was a dud. But you lost me when he returned the pass. Just didn't fit with the rest of the story. Suddenly they're swingers??? Gave it 3 stars.

The First page being totally underlined screwed the story. WTF!

Underlined

Let some other guy fuck his wife?

Sad

Nothing be or fresh here. Sad old story done.very poorly.

Better start hiding assets. Ten to one she's already fucking other men or she wouldn't have handled his cheating so smoothly.

Giving Sweetie the pass again was a nice twist! I did NOT see that coming.

Sweetie is a keeper ... mainly in being calm and collected during the Original Sin, but also by taking time out from a mediocre interlude to watch and admire Hubby. Oh, and drafting Hubby to help her realize her pass with the swap. Sounds like they should have been communicating better about their (very similar) boundaries. Maybe time to get her BFF back for FFMs!

4*

so in order for her to get even and use her pass her husband has tofuck the shit out of another woman and then we find out she watched? I guess he got it made.

But I agree she has been cheating the side all along.

Good until the ending. Why give her another pass? Only trouble ahead for them. Was a 4 star but knocked one off because of the end.

It was a 5 until the end then he turned into a 3. The ending was terrible why would he want to become a willing cuckhold after all was past?

ones mind is the mostest to fear the What If. TK U MLJ LV NV

Stupid Ending, why give another pass, its not like he'll get to fuck another wife, what an idiot

Dumb ending.

One and ONLY ONE pass per fuck up.

If she picked a dud, that tough shit for her.

This story is just plain BS. 'one and done' is the only right way

Give her another opportunity to audition your replacement? That sounds like a great idea.

0 star - stupid sharing crap

Ending killed this. She got to watch him live but refuses to even answer any of his questions about what she did? He then gives her another pass?

One sided gay shit.

I would have expected that part of the husband's penance would include taking his humiliation to an even higher level - like eating the creampie resulting from the wife's hall pass cashout, with Carroll as a witness and video being taken.

.

I really didn't get the whole thing with Millie - didn't seem like it added anything to the penance.

So many weak little whiners complaining about this story. He gets more than she does