All Comments on 'Paul and John Share Melissa'

…as noted in another comment, needs some work. Even the title has an error (Paula, not Paul!). Too bad--the story definitely had potential.

Next time I'll focus on the proofing more, also I just couldn't work out how to catch the title after I hit send?

Any other feedback? I am keen to get better at it :)

This one makes me wonder if English is your second language. But the sensuality is amazing and the primal wantonness of the sexual attitudes is wonderful. What a sexy idea to "spy" on a lover's wife by using sexting and erotic photos to get useful intel on the targeted lady.

Are you so into the sex that you just keep banging keys no matter what? Slow down and clean it up. Stop the first-person bullshit. YOU can't even follow it. But keep the kink coming.