All Comments on 'Paula's Story Pt. 01'

Great story, Ron would tell you to keep writing.

Wow so we have a woman who hasn't even heard of the word dignity or self respect who's hanging on this nasty tossers every word .If this is supposed to have a "BDSM " edge to it it's an epic fail.Oh and it is Carole or Paula because you seem a little mixed up .It's women like that keep abusers happy, If you wrote this for a "lady" i sure hope you knew what you were doing .

This was a great story. There were some slip-ups and grammar errors, but not too many, and they were nothing compared to some of the junk on here. Don't listen to people tearing you down. A person can enjoy non-con fiction without being sexist in real life. It's disconcerting at times to like such things so much for pretend when in real life they are so awful, but you shouldn't be ashamed of writing this story any more than I should be ashamed for being aroused by it.

I'm not a young girl, but a mature woman, and I certainly identified with Paula. Her need to please Ron was overpowering and she wanted his acceptance. I'm sure her pleasure and arousal came from obeying him and giving him the pleasure he desired. encore769@yahoo

I appreciate everyone's comments. This was never intended to edge into "BDSM." I am not a fan of the genre. As Ms. Annonymous said it is a story about a young woman who it hurts so much to be in love that she doesn't know how to say, "NO." there are a few mishaps in grammar, granted. I did scan for Carole to get back to Paula several times. I think I had a hard time projecting into a character and not somehow coming back to my self. As for Paula? She is a friend and a gracious lady who I just wanted to somehow thank. She reviewed the story, and although it is only her name, she loved it. ALL IS GOOD! Thank you all for your critique.

Keep going!

beautifully written, great pace, building tension - and making me sooo horny. can't wait for part 2

I thought it was the most intense erotic build up I've read in here. It was excellent. The story wasn't rushed, (it accepted some things on face value because it wasn't intended to be a novella). I like one of the previous comments from a lady who understood where you were going with this. I am very much looking forward to the next chapter

i agree with anonymous (08.20.14). There's an obvious difference between crtique and criticism which sadly some people are ignorant of. Or even sadder, are aware of but choose to ignore out of nastiness and a meanness of spirit. Ignore them, they are most likely of little consequence in their own lives and of no consequence in yours. Keep writing, this first posting of yours indicates you have talent worth nurturing.

As for your story, yeah there are a few errors of grammar etc that you should have tidied up before posting. We all make them. Personally i need to print out and proof read to pick up mine, i always (and i do mean always) miss them when reading onscreen. What i liked about your story is the slowish build-up and the inclusion of enough detail to make your Paula and the events 3-Dimensional. For me this is what makes the difference between something i enjoy reading and just another shallow boring hurried fuck fest.

please continue both your writing and this story. Take your time and add more detail, the destination will be there - it's the journey that is showing your potential as a writer

I enjoyed writing the story. I drew a lot, (not as much as you wish I had drawn from), my own experience as a teen. It is tough for a young girl to reconcile how she sees herself in a mirror and how other people see her. In my case? I was very comfortable on the academic side but very clingy when it came to boyfriends. I always thought I was ready to lose them as soon as the sun set.

I've just read part 1 so far but this really good! The buildup is the best part - and I'm a fan of girls being shared so those parts were a real turn on for me. Good job!

You have talent. I look forward to more of you. You made one old guy very horny. Sincere thanks!

I'm hooked!

A nice change of pace to read a story that quickly sets up a sex scene. .. a refreshing approach for your first offering.

Just a few error opposes like "my" instead of "your" when describing paula's panties. Then I noticed you used yo'ur name instead of Paula's when Ron forced her to go in the backseat and help Tom cum... by revealing her breasts. Was that intentional?:

Aside from those minutes oopses... this chronicle was quit entertaining with a nice dose of reality and the attention to detail describing actions. Many thanks to you and Literotica for the opportunity to read this highly erotic tale:')