Payback

"Oh, darling," she said, "that's all in the past. It's over. I understand it, believe me I do. I am pretty sure I know what you were thinking and it doesn't upset me anymore. I mean, it did at the time, but I'm okay now. Are you okay?"

She was slick, I had to give her that. "Sure, honey," I said, "I'm okay. I just wanted to make sure you were."

She smiled at me. "I'm fine, darling. Everything is fine."

I just bet it was.

Okay, so the direct approach didn't work. Maybe it was time to bring in the professionals. I checked out Yelp and found a private detective who got good reviews. I scheduled an appointment.

Ben Branden was a short man, very muscular, with a little mustache. He seemed almost like what you expect a seedy PI to be. He motioned me to sit across from him at his desk.

"What seems to be the problem?" he asked. Straight to business. I liked that. I told him about my suspicions and mentioned briefly that I thought it was she getting revenge on me for having a fling with some kid. He raised his eyebrows at that, but said nothing.

"Has her interest in, um, sex decreased?" Ben asked.

"No, no, that seems to be fine, although she's smart enough to know that any change like that would be suspicious. She's a pretty bright lady."

"Okay," Ben said, "have you noticed any unusual phone calls, like people hanging up when you answer?"

"No," I said, "she would be smart enough to make sure no one calls at home. I have noticed she makes some calls away from me and whispers, though. I'm guessing she mostly communicates with "him" at work. Maybe he works there, too. I don't really know."

Ben exhaled and thought a bit. "Okay," Ben said finally, "I'll tell you what I can do. I can follow her and see if there is any pattern. Maybe she takes an extra trip on Tuesdays or something like that. I can put a tap on your phone, but I can't tap her phone at work. Still, I can keep her under surveillance." He raised his chin and said, "It'll be expensive, though."

"I don't care," I said, "I have to know who's screwing her. Once I know that, I can fix things myself."

Ben sighed. "Okay, I'll get to work on it. I'll contact you at work when I have something."

********************

It was a week before Ben got ahold of me. "I have little to report, I'm afraid," he said. I've followed her and she seems to go to work. There are some trips during the work day, but I haven't seen anything that would suggest an assignation of any sort. I have noticed her being friendly with a couple of men at work, during lunch. Rubbing of shoulders and that sort of thing. Nothing definitive, but it makes me wonder. Still, I haven't been able to catch her at anything, yet. It could be that she's taking care of business at work. Conference rooms are sometimes used, and supply closets are popular. But I have no access to her company, so I can't get anything there. Do you want me to continue?"

I sighed. Damn, is she slick. "No," I said, "I guess not. I'm going to have to try something else."

"I'm sorry we didn't get the results you wanted," Ben said. "Sometimes we just can't catch them in the act, you know? Some people are really good at covering their tracks."

"Thanks," I said, and hung up. She'd make a mistake, I was sure of it, but I couldn't afford to keep paying Ben until she did. Sooner or later, she'd slip up. And when she did, I'd be there.

********************

I kept watching like a hawk, waiting for the mistake I knew was coming. Always watching her, looking for a slight change in expression, a misspoken word, anything. But I waited in vain. She never seemed to let anything drop. She was good, really good.

Finally, I had had enough. I was going to try the direct approach again, but I was going to be more direct. I got home before her one night and waited. I heard her open the door.

"Honey, I'm home!" she called.

"I'm in the kitchen," I said. I hoped she could hear the chill in my voice. She did.

"Sweetheart," she started, "what's wrong. Did I do something?" There was obvious worry in her voice.

"I don't know," I snapped, "you tell me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, honey," she responded, still with worry. "What's this all about?"

I sat down at the kitchen table. I hesitated, trying to make sure the words came out right. "Okay, well, ever since you found out about my little fling, you've been acting strange. You forgave me so quickly that I figured out YOU were having an affair yourself. That's why you were comfortable letting me off the hook, isn't it?"

Her eyes got wide. "Brad," she said, "I am not having an affair. I never have and I never will."

"That's what I would expect you to say," I shouted. "How can I believe you?"

"You can believe me because it's the truth," she said coolly.

I shook my head. "You think I haven't noticed how you have been coming home late sometimes? You think I haven't noticed you coming home flushed on occasion? You think I haven't heard the phone calls whispered so low I can't hear what's being said? You have been hiding something, Angela, and you've done a good job. Even the PI couldn't figure out..." Whoops.

She glared at me. "You had me followed?!" she screamed. "What the fuck are you using for brains? Why would you do that? I thought you trusted me. I know you can't be trusted, but I thought you realized I could be."

"I thought I could trust you, too," I said. "But it's clear I can't."

"No," she snapped back, "what's clear is you're an idiot." She sat and fumed.

My anger dissipated. I reached out to her and tried to take her hand, but she pulled away from me. "Look, babe," I said quietly, "I just need to know who it is. That's all. This is killing me. I can understand you wanting revenge, I can understand you wanting to punish me. But this has been going on for months and I just can't take it anymore. I just can't." Tears were falling off my cheeks now. I just wanted to know.

She watched me cry for a while and I could see her soften a bit. She came over to me and held me, waiting for me to regain my composure. She sat in the chair next to me and sighed. "Okay," she said. "I'll tell you. But it's not what you think."

My heart stopped and my chest tightened up. After all this time, finally a confession. I was upset because I told her almost immediately about my affair, but she dragged hers on for months before telling me. Still, at least she was telling me.

"It began shortly after I found out about your tryst but before you told me. I was angry and hurt, as I told you. I stewed about it for a couple of days, wondering how long it was going to continue. It happened only once, so I felt better about it. And I figured out it really didn't mean anything. I know I can't compete with a young girl in some areas, but I know I can blow her away in others, areas that really count. I think you figured that out yourself, didn't you?"

I nodded. "Yes," I said, through my tears, "I sure did. No one can hold a candle to you, darling, no one at all."

"I figured you would discover that sooner or later, but I still decided to punish you," she said. She was glaring at me.

"So who is it? Who are you using to get back at me?" I wanted the answer, but I didn't really want to know.

She laughed. Honest to God, she laughed. She thought this was funny. God damn it! She thought this was funny!

"Who is it?" I repeated, shouting this time.

She was down to giggling now. "You," she said.

What the fuck? "What do you mean, me?" I said, getting angry.

"Oh, darling," she said, "haven't you ever heard the expression 'we aren't punished for our sins but rather by them'?" I shook my head no.

"Oh, too bad," she giggled. "Maybe you would have figured this out earlier and ended your punishment sooner." She was starting to laugh again.

"Jeez, Angela," I said, "what the hell are you talking about."

She was trying to control herself, but she was having too much fun. At my expense. "Okay," she said, "I'll explain it. When I found out you fucked Susan, I was pretty hurt, like I said, and decided you needed to be punished. I thought about hurting you the same way you hurt me but figured out it would punish me, too. I didn't want to hurt you in that way. I still love you, you know, even if you're a fucking idiot." She rubbed my ears and smiled at me. "So I figured out I didn't have to cheat on you, all I had to do was make you think I was cheating on you. It was pretty easy, really. I let you off the hook far more easily than you expected, then let you wonder about it. I'd come home late a few times, dash to the shower when I didn't need to, fake some clandestine phone calls, all that stuff. Then I let your imagination run away with you. I have to admit, I had fun."

I was stunned. She could be telling the truth. After all, the PI came up with nothing and I could never prove anything.

"I never cheated on you, darling," she said, "but I did want you to suffer for cheating on me. I'm pretty sure you suffered when you figured out how stupid you had been, but I wanted you to suffer a bit more. That's why, for the last several months, I let you create your own hell. I decided today that you had had enough. You have had enough, haven't you, dear?" I nodded my head. I had had plenty.

"Just remember, darling," she said, earnestness in her voice, "everyone deserves a second chance; no one deserves a third."

I got it. Boy, did I get it. Like I said, she's one smart lady. And she's still mine, although God knows why she's keeping me.

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