by RobXXX
100 for the story, a great tale of gay seduction. 00 for editing, really needs serious reworking. Keep writing though, don't let the negative feedback deter you. Use spellcheck/grammercheck and you'll do well.
The story was pretty good but def. needs some grammer and word usage changes. Keep it up. I would love to read a reworked version!
I liked this story a lot, especially given it's your first one. But one question: Would an older man like Jean be able to cum so many times in a weekend? Do they have that kind of stamina? Still, you did a great job.
A story with a lovely feel to it, grammar and spelling are things you can always repair but a story no matter how perfect the spelling is nothing without feeling.
Keep up the good work.
Absolutely brilliant! I too am a bottom ( virgin :( ) and I would have loved to be in your place !
A great story and nice writing technique. Had me excited! and happy to learn there is a follow-up. Keep writing.
I pick up a young man like yourself, fact is he had just turned 18, he came to the shop to rent a tux; Before he left, he wasnt even going to go to the prom. He was a naive young man, but he did and does love sucking a dick, havent gotten around to the :other; yet, its coming. He and I both like your story, helped us , to cross the line, more please, just like the other, waiting!!!
I love having rich, older, sophisticated men turn me into their cum-loving little slutboy who will do anything to please them. This has all the elements a slutboy likes, generous man with gray chest hair whose cock is bigger sucking me in the front seat of his Mercedes making me feel like a sexy little whoreboy who should be wearing panties. Let's go shopping for some sexy outfits.
This is one of the best coming-of-age stories I've ever read. It expressed what I so dreamed of at that age. My first gay sex was not merely as pleasurable, and it took a few men to teach me to enjoy it and come out to friends. Now in a long term relationship with a man my own age, with whom we occasionally initiate college students in our life style.
Possibly the most erotic and entertaining story of young/old I have read. Can't wait for the next
i felt the same way he felt as he watched jean walk out of his dorm as i was reading the final paragraphs
Great coming of age piece. Great pace of story. I really felt connected to these two new lovers. The older guy took his time; and sparks flew.
Love the story, stolen love, became perfect. Still waiting for my first.2
I love this story so much. I think it have made me cum at least a hundred times over the last couple of years. Wish it was me who met Jean. Still looking for my mature lover
Love this story. I'm older,but would like a younger man to show me the ropes.
This brings back memories of my first time with a man. Don't sweat the grammar stuff. The story more than makes up for it.
with the exception of a few misplaced or misspelled words, it was one of the most entertaining stories I have ever read on this site. it just smacks of being true. --which I hope was true, and I am not nagging about the wording.
don't give up and write more!
your new Texas fan
Loved the story, the progression and pace. Very exciting and had me hard wishing I could find a sweet 18 yo virgin.
Good forward motion. Perfect discription of first time experience. I’m not into restraints. But I liked the set up for the younger mans first time kinks. I coulda appreciated some panties play. Maybe next time. Having said that, your the best writer of my kind of porn that I ever experienced.
Great story. I almost had a similar experience when I was your age but chickened out and always regretted it.