by carrieoct15
The story was very good, however, it could use was some expansion. Might I recommend a few more vivid descriptions of sexual acts. I scan all daily submissions and read 80%, for my money two pages is optimal. While one page provides the writer adequate time to draw in the reader, it doesn't provide time to either wrap-up or develop a story line. Anyway, liked you story. Peep Show has great potential as a developing story you could take it so many ways. Good luck with it.
This is a great story, although I agree with the first commentor in that it could be a bit longer. The best part of this story is that it is told from the neighbor's point-of-view. If it was from either the daughter's or father's point-of-view, it would be like most of the other stories.
Good to have something different, for a change.
Yes, do make it a bit longer - and a touch more editing?
Maybe they could have phone sex?
Lukas
Peeping? No.
10 inch dicky? No
Masturbating while watching? No
Peepee knows peepor is watching?? No
Truly, nothing was different. Its like Vicks... age old formula sold in new packaging. A little more storyline could've added value to this.
I liked it....has my cunt soaking wet....played with my nips the entire time..they are so hard and excited, I can't wait til I dip my fingers inside me...going to lick my fingers clean...and smear the wettness all over my big nipples and eat them....I'm turned on.....BIG TIME.
Read http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=439 for an expanded story