All Comments on 'Permission Ch. 03'

I enjoyed the story, but there is a real life ending which you have not reached. Paul will almost certainly feel some measure of pain and insecurity over time - - and she will think of Sean at some point in time when she should be thinking of her husband.

How will they both deal with those problems? Perhaps that could be a focus of your sequel. Overall, though, an excellent first effort. Keep up the good work

Your right this story does call out for a sequel. You have done a very nice job of telling this story from two perspectives and developing the characters. I am not sure why people read stories that the KNOW they don't enjoy. But, I enjoyed it and I think others do and will enjoy your work. Keep it up, you told a more powerful story that most here seem to realize. It is their loss.

I am a man who would identifies with the husband. You walked a very fine line between hartbreak and love of his wife for him. You may have come closer to reality than most writers of this perticular stile, agony of loss and betrial and love for his younger wife.

Sean taking the cell and 'rubbing in in' was classic and should have shown the whore what a low-life he really was.

Hi,

I enjoyed the story and look forward to more of these from you. A sequel? Possibly, as this may be too good for the couple to stop.

Another series, with a different couple, may be the better option.

I plan to write, and have started, but it is not ready for publishing. To write a story the way I want it is more difficult than I thought.

Thanks for an enjoyable read. Look forward to other submissions.

Joe

together. The husband must really love her. But I believed I was right in my comment about chapter 2. It's already eating the huisabnd alive and I wonder if later on the marriage will be as good or even if it will last. I believe she needs to feel the sadness and sorry he felt as she left him to go see her fantasy lover. Let her feel how bad her husband felt as he knew someone else was taking her body and her love even if it was for only a weekend. This marriage will have problems going forward in my opion that is.

""Honey, What you did for me has made me see how much I need you and love you, even more. From now on, all you get is gratitude. I will make you happy. Always"

Yeah Right!!!!

Now that he has given her her wildest fantasy, she will be true to him forever? Yes Vrginia, there is a Santa Claus", The easter Bunny will be here Sunday, and the tooth fairy will leave you money under your pillow. She will be ready in another month to go again. I really got a hoot out of the adulterous bitch wouldn't let Sean take any "nasty" pictures of her. It would be like "Cheating" . That is the silliest shit I ever did hear.

Just another slutwife and wimpy cuckolded piece os shit husband that believes he can keep his wife by letting her fuck another man. She wants the best of both worlds, the image of a respectable wife and mother and the passion that fucking other men will give her too. If she wants to express her deep rooted love for her husband, give him ten grand and turn him loose in an Amsterdam whore house for the weekend. These stories never include that however. The wife always says, "Oh honey I love you too much to even think of you with another woman." or he says that she is all the woman I ever want. Wimpy subhub motherfuckers that need male hormone treatments.

As far as writing is concerned, you did a very good job and it was erotic too.

Honey, I love you so much, for letting me fuck silly like that. You are just priceless, precious, honey bunny. I will never ask you again, for nothin'. I will instead treasure these feelings I have --- I still have them, y'know --- of some big, rough dick plungin' so deep into me, I had trouble breathin' sometimes,,, But, honey, that's done with. What I have now is you. All my love, attention, and newly acquired sexual techniques (of cock sucking) will be now be directed at you and you only!

Again, honey, I will never even think about such things again, much less doing it, you must believe me, okay, honey? [wink, wink ---- in her head only, ofcourse,,, she ain't that dumb or at least as dumb as she let him think about her!]

the hubby?: Gosh, honey, I'm so glad you came to your sense, about love and family, and trust and honesty and all those good stuff. I've seen how many women falling off to the wayside for engaging in extra marital activities, especially when their loving husbands are against it; god, those women, they look aweful. You, my precious, you don't want to end up like that, do you? Of course not. I know how deeply you love me; well, guess what?, I love you endlessly more! I'm gald you got that out of your system and now realize how much I mean to you!

wifey: Fuck me, honey. My pussy is all wet, all worked up, just by listening to you, listen to how much you loved me. Fuck me and let me suck you like I suck that man, right after he pulled out of me and his dick's still all gooey; I loved it and I am sure I will love yours, ours, endlessly more!

hubby: HOney, you be the best wife any man could ever had!

LOL

Well, you could have her fall further in love with Sean and decide that Paul is expendable but she wants her girls. Paul puts up a futile attempt to keep his girls but Sean puts up the money that Paul does not have for a six month custody battle which Angelina wins.

Paul regrets the day that he gave his permission to Angelina to have this "fantasy".

She has feelings for Paul but her love for Sean continues to grow as he comes back to the area and meets her in out of the way places for clandestine meetings. Paul becomes suspicious as she statrs to hold back sex from him. This happens more and more frequently until one day when she is having a spat with Paul over some trivial matter, she blurts out that "Sean wouldn'r treat her like this."

Paul finally follows her activities and about a week of surveilance, she goes to a suite in an upscale hotel that Sean has booked for the pair of lovers. He finds out that the suite has been permanently booked by Sean. After paying a housekeeper that cleans the suite rooms, Paul finds out that they have been playing house there for about six months about three or four times a month, or whenever Sean could make time in his schedule for her. There are all the fun clothes kept there for their lusty trysts.

By this time Sean has forbidden her to have sex with Paul any longer, and is becoming more like a husband than just a lover. He tells her that he no longer wants to eat the pussy that Paul has fucked, no matter if she had just douched before coming to him.

Paul confronts Angelina and she tells him that she is sorry but after sex with Sean, he just doesn't satisfy her any longer.

Paul confronts Sean after bribing his agent to get his number.

Sean tells him what he can do to make Angelina and his kids so much happier than he ever could. Paul is distraught. after the custody fight and his girls have been turned against him, he pulls up in front of Sean and Angelina's new home in a new area, getting by security with a story that he is from the cable TV company, rings the bell and Angelina comes to the door. He then pulls a pistol from his waistband, sticks the barrel in his mouth, and blows his brains out getting some on Angelina's expensive negligee and nightgown.

Sean and Angelina live rather unhappily together after that with the memory of what she had caused, and eventually split up. The girls find out what has happened later and never have anything to do with their mother again forever.

You have coiled an emotional spring, no, many emotional springs. Right from the beginning you show this couple to be unbalanced in her selfishness and his small weaknesses in personality and backbone. This can fester, especially if she pushes any superiority or selfishness. How can that weekend not change her since her husband allowed her to be another man's slut, their game just being an excuse. Will he want his own "private time" with another/other women? Can she go back to having only one man? Will she be less selfish because she starts to realize she may lose him over this slutting weekend that she insisted upon?

I would ask you to let these tensions uncoil and do so in a way that wrenches both their hearts, and maybe instructs him about what a wimp he has been.

I love the tension that you've built and the weaknesses in both characters. It's time for him to show her just how he felt over this.

Poorly written farce.It lacks the internal consistency needed to make it a good read.The most important questions regarding the characters motivations are not even dealt with to any meaningful degree.One has to really decipher if these characters are competent adults or escapees from some group home for the emotionally disadvantaged.

This was a generally good story. Not very believable because the "Hollywood" character was not convincing. Most people in that genre are very egocentric and would not have the personality of Sean. Where the real problem for such a couple would start is in the future. The husband will not be able to let this go and it will continue to eat at him until at some point it will result in serious problems for this marriage. How could the wife ever make up to the husband what he has given her? This is the ultimate sacrifice short of death and I get the feeling that under the surface this is beginning to become a problem for him.

A sequel should probably start at five or ten years down the road and include the husband having a fling and how the couple would deal with that scenario. After all, how could the wife complain if the husband were to have a one night stand? See what kind of trials and tribulations this marriage would have to go through and show the wife the kind of hurt the husband has had to bear over those years. I would not pretend to try to write the story for you, just trying to give you some ideas.

You wrote a good story, I just think you left out some very important aspects to the emotional states that these persons would have to deal with. Keep writing.

What a story. In most stories there is someone you can cheer for. In this story ,the wife is an immoral ,unfaithful slut, the husband is a stupid, weakwilled wimp and the movie star, or whatever he is, is a self-centered immoral egomaniac who doesnt care who he hurts What a poor excuse for an erotic story.The only thing more depressing is the fact that 1 or 2 of your readers think it's a wonderful story.Thank God for the huge majority who think it's a disgusting story. 60 year old George

make it up to hubby ...his turn now ...only fair huh

I liked it. Good premise about a man who truly loves his wife! Trouble ahead however. Sean isn't going to want to give it up. even though he has tried to be a gentlemn about it..

Good job and well written

The writing is marginal. Again I ask, what was the point of this other than some weird kind of catharsis for the author? The wife is an adulteress AND a slut now. The man is still a cuchold, spineless and a victim. Still, nothing even remotely likeable about these characters.

For those who whould like to justify these actions by saying, "Well, if he gives his consent, it isn't cheating". Wtong. Both leagally and morally it is still cheating. Suppose you shoot me in chest. I survive and during your arraignment I stand and say, "It isn't assault, I gave him/her permission to shoot me". Do you really think that is going to fly? I doubt it. Permission does not negate culpability nor responsibility no matter how you try to contort things.

I can't believe that hardly any one liked the first 2 installments and he hgets 100's on the last? What, all the candy-asses waited until the last installment. And some commenter said this man really loves his wife? I got new, I loved mine enough to die for her, my father man mother were married for over 50 years and in both cases the wives knew that if they tried this shit they would have had their asses kicked clean up around their ears! These characters love each other my ass.

Also, far too much was left out. His reactions were muted to the point of being non-existent. The author postuates that if the husband porks some bimbo everything is even? Tit-for-tat? No pun intended.

The writer has a degree of very raw talent but he needs to make things a bit more believable.

And, just for the record, yes, I think the US would be far better served in the coming years by more John Wayne's and far, far fewer Alan Alda's.

the story line is okay, makes for an interesting story. but i think this story needed to be compressed, much too wordy for the story told. could have been told in one chapter,certainly no more than two.

the fact that so many are calling for more chapters or some form of continuation tells you your story was well received.if you think you've told the story you intended to tell,you may not want to continue. save your good ideas for another story! lol.

will be looking for more from you in the future,

don

Author, you asked for feedback, I take you at your word.

The story does cry out for more, but I don’t think you have prepared yourself for where it must go. That’s why I always tell authors to know the end of the story before they post the first part, and preferably finish the story before they post at all. Before that, you can’t tell if something you plan to write will work. Often it requires changing something in the first parts of the story to make the whole thing work. But after you’ve put it out there, it can’t change. I think you intended to write a kind of loving story and possibly follow it up with a loving conclusion. But what you’ve actually built is a looming disaster. Some evidence.

"Paul, I want Sean Faulkner to make love to me, and I need you to say it's OK. No, he hasn't asked me, and he probably never will, but please, please, please, if it happens, can I let him? it would only be the one time, but you know how I've always dreamed of him. Oh, please, Paul. You'll never be sorry you let me. I'll make sure of that."

She has no plan to make sure he’ll never be sorry. In fact, he’s sorry as soon as he responds to that.

"Whoa, whoa, wait up, Babe. I know we always said that'd be OK, but we never thought there was a chance in hell you'd ever be in the same building with Sean Faulkner, much less have him want you.”

He’s telling her it was just a fantasy he never wanted to happen. But she isn’t listening.

“If I don't know I gave it my best shot, I'd go to my grave wondering if I could have. And you wouldn't want me to blame you for my life's biggest disappointment, would you?"

He should let her cheat on him because otherwise she’ll blame her forever for not allowing it? How is this going to prevent him from being sorry?

He says yes but it’s not like he’s fully behind it. He thinks, “How could I say anything else? First of all, this was all impossible. And second of all, if I'd said no, while Angelina would probably have accepted it, something big would have come between us.” He’ll never be sorry because his infantile wife will hold it against him and possibly destroy their relationship because he wouldn’t agree to her cheating? Of course, it’s not like he’s not infantile too. His thoughts are: And if, wonder of wonder, miracle of miracles, she managed an adventure with him, I knew my Angelina well enough to be sure that her gratitude to me would result in benefits I'd never dared dream of. This disturbs him but it will be okay because this will make her give him better sex? What is she holding out now? Will she love him more? If so, what is wrong with the relationship that she doesn’t love him enough now?

He’s so enthusiastically behind it he tells us about his conversation with Paul, So I told him the truth, and quickly said, "I love her too much to stand between her and her dream. I hope you understand. It's not that I don't care, but that I care that much." It’s hard not to read that as full of misgiving and regret, but Paul reads this as idiotically as his wife. So she takes the phone and he eats her and she excites him but won’t finish because he’s cut off until her ONE time with Sean.

"Paul, what you just did to me shouldn't even have happened, but I have admit you that I closed my eyes and imagined it was someone else, if you know what I mean. What with Sean in my ear the whole time. So from now until 'afterward,' no more hanky panky between us, not even a little hanky. Sorry. But I swear you won't be sorry later." Now it’s LATER he won’t be sorry instead of NEVER.

When she’s getting ready he tells her, "it wasn't exactly easy for me to say yes to this. But I love you and I trust you, and I don't think I could ever give you anything else that would make up for my saying no." Can that mean anything other than he doesn’t want her to do it but she’s forced him into a position where he can’t tell her not to do what he doesn’t want her to do. And now ONE time has somehow morphed into an entire weekend.

So she has her weekend and it’s not just a fantasy fuck. He spends the weekend romancing her. He would clearly go after her in a heartbeat if Paul were not around, which eventually he may not be.

Then you talked about lotions and crap and I assume it was to show the romance between them, but it went on too long and in too much detail. You can get the concept across in way fewer words. I know it can be hard to see, I’ve done it myself, but you have to watch for drifting away from the basic plot with what the reader will see as filler. Back to the story, as you did.

When she returns, he tells her, “OK, Sweetbuns. I've heard the whole story. I tried to put myself there with you instead of Sean, but I really couldn't. Thank God we have you back. You will always have your memories, of course. I wouldn't think of taking them from you. But I ask one thing: don't share those details with me again, even if you remember something you left out. I really have to put this weekend out of my head. I hope you understand." Translation: I hate what you did. I hate having been coerced. It diminishes me as a man and I will try to prevent it from completely destroying me, and us as a couple

Her response, "Honey, What you did for me has made me see how much I need you and love you, even more. From now on, all you get is gratitude. I will make you happy. Always.” Translation: I didn’t hear what you said. I have no clue this hurt you or us. It made me really happy and that’s all that counts. Your reward is that I’m happy.

How can she make it up to him when she doesn’t know there is anything to make up? She never had a concept there would be anything to make up. She was entitled and woe to him if he intervened. Does she have Sean obtain Halle Berry for him? No, because he never really wanted her. It was a fantasy. As stupid as he was to agree, he knows how painful it was to him so he would never do that to her even if Sean could get Halle for him. Other women? He doesn’t want them. Her promise that he would never be sorry is already broken. He was sorry before she left and it’s worse after she returned. Even if she eventually recognizes what she’s done to him, it isn’t undoable. That might make her unhappy about what she’s done and remorseful, but none of that makes him whole. She was completely selfish and the only real thought she had of him was don’t get in her way.

And what if she doesn’t get it? Next year Tom Selleck appears for his favorite charity. Under their agreement, she’s entitled to her ONE time with him as well.

So I think the problem with setting up his submission to her selfish desire, coupled with her oblivious selfishness, to the point where she doesn’t even recognize the situation after she returns and waxes poetic about her lover, has painted you into a corner. If they had had discussions, if she had shown an iota of reluctance, if he had shown a smidgeon of backbone, if she had registered contemplation let alone remorse, you might have had more directions to take it. But with her myopic selfishness and his complete lack of a backbone, he won’t even admit to himself how easily he caved, I don’t see a future together for them. He will always remember how he felt expendable if he did not consent and that she considered him expendable. That’s not a basis for going forward.

I don’t know if you’re considering Sean for the future but he was interesting. He seems okay on the surface but below he is deceptive and trying his best to win her over. If he got the chance he would sabotage Paul and be there to help her put her life together. Maybe he read her that arrogance would not work.

I liked the story. I like the complexity of it and the stupidity of the characters. That stupidity is sadly very real in the world.

You have been given many suggetions for a sequel, and some seriously good advice apart from the usual (he should kick her to the curb ) stuff.

But, I think rather than anyone else continue and finish this, YOU SHOULD. It is important to your credibility that you can finish a story and make it your own.

I urge you to consider finishing it and doing it soon. The ending may not be a happy one, it may be a bitter sweet one, but it should be YOUR ending

I enjoyed the "playfulness" of this story , and thought it

a very well done first effort . One of the true hallmarks of erotic fantasy has to always be "leaving it to our imagination" , I think . Therefore , I don't need a sequel to this story . I will remember it quite well , and make up my own fantasies about it's various outcomes . Thanks for the entertainment . Best wishes for your continuing work...Bob R.

Too bad you picked 'willing cuckold' as your your first theme. It oviously guarantees you flame reviews.

What rock did you crawl from under? This is the sickest story I have ever had the misfortune to read! So, Hubby gave her permission to fuck this selfseveing piece of Hollywood dog shit! GREAT! Now that she has fucked the big movie star, who is next? A skid row wino? A donkey dicked Nigger? I would have filed for Divorce the minute she got into that limo. She would most certainly not be allowed to come home again, nor would she be allowed to see her children without an army of Child Protective Services guards. Jeez, what a slime ball....

we all wish you would fucking leave us alone. What an Ass w/o a name you are!

you would never have a woman. YOu been fucking blow up dolls and fucking your hand and mother all your life. Just fucking leave and don't even look back Ass w/o a Name.

Stupid writers to write stupid stories, I mean.

There used to be good writers on Lit.com, but very few anymore.

it's really sad to see that there should be a grown up woman with almost grown up kids but with a brainage of less than a teenager. I guess I would not have left her because of her wish to fuck her hero, no I guess I could not touch her anymore because I would know now that I would be like any paedophiliac, abusing a childs mind. I also would see to it that she no longer would play a big part in the upgrowing of our kids. I want them to age naturally and become adults some day.

But I don't think any man would give up his wife like that. Nor would a thoughtful wife do that to her husband and family. Talk about the fantasy, maybe, but not actually go thru with it. And that left the story on the unbelievable side for me.

The only way for you to pull this story out of the fire is to have the wife stalk Halle and somehow convince her to fuck her husband's brains out for a weekend. Otherwise they are doomed.

What a pile of fucking cuck crap garbage.

This was a pretty good story, worth the 4 stars I gave it. However as you said yourself it truly screeeeems for more to be written. If you could explain to your wife that it's just a story that needs a bit more written to make the story complete, maybe she wouldn't be so against you writing more. I do feel that the husband Paul needs to be able to have some time with some hot actress whom is willing to do the same thing for him as Sean did for Angeline. It just seems to be only fair. She should not be getting all pissy because Paul allowed her, her time with her idol RIGHT ?????? Anyway as I said really good story. ( could have had a better ending ). Besides as it is now, will she always be thinking about Sean's thicker dick every time she has sex with Paul or will Paul be able to satisfy her with his thinner dick. All this should be taken into consideration in the sequel or next chapter.

and somewhat sick.

The village called, it's missing an,. ..

"Oh honey, your letting me fuck someone else made me see.How much I love you!" I 'll love only you, until the next time I want some strange. " "You clueless cuck idiot." Says the living whore.

he should have said it was fantasy or just talking no way was it real and the fact you bring this up puts our marriage in trouble. Do not go and fuck anyone but me. When she goes fine but she comes home to an empty home and divorce papers on the table.

Not a word of truth in this statement: "Paul still has you, but it's your body to do with as you choose." It's pathetic that someone could be so in love with the movies that they would break their vows to explore a movie star.

I loved it!! It called a loving wife story, it was great! Why would anyone read a story that they know they will hate. It seems this happens all the time. Forget the the negative comments, keep writing!!

The wife is a selfish bitch, and the husband is the worst kind of fool. The last paragraphs capture the truth.

Her sordid trust will now eat at him. He will now always fear she will compare him to her dream and he will fail.

Without serious help their marriage will fail, doomed from the time he allowed this “affair” to happen.

As to her, words just fail me

Disliked the story 1/5

You are a very good writer and all elements of this story were very well written. The one thing -- and this is not a criticism -- that bothered me is this question: will not the memory of Sean now forever intrude on their intimate life together? Will not his lovemaking forever set a standard to which Paul will never measure up? Perhaps not. Perhaps everything will be fine in the marriage. I guess there is no way to know. Anyway, very well done.

Paul was a puss. He will NEVER know if Angelina is thinking of Sean when they are having sex ( no more, making love). He was a stupid fool and should turn in his " man card". Wargamer has it right. He should have just left her with divorce papers on the kitchen table. The marriage is going to end up there anyway.

Thanks for an interesting story. I enjoyed the premise and the manner in which you handled it so far. Please finish though.

Another husband as a faggoty wimp

Excellent,I really enjoyed and when she told him sorry no photos she proved she truly loved her family.

Having read this, although undoubtedly well written, left me quite cold. Surely she must have realised that the celebrity “hall pass” idea was purely a fantasy and not real life.

Once she mentioned it to her husband he should have reiterated the fact to her.

If that wasn’t enough, to give a blow by blow account of her activities once she returned was quite ludicrous; ignoring the fact that the husband comes across as a wimp, this was actually rubbing his nose in her infidelity.

More CRAP

I think this story cries out the author is a good writer and a poor excuse for a man. I didn’t look. Is the author a female? That would explain it.

The plot fizzled, no payoff. And, the erotic parts weren’t. Disappointing effort.