All Comments on 'Peter, Prue Ch. 02'

masochism

Jesus, enoughs enough!! I can't read this any further, I'm getting migraines for god sake!

Thank you!

You've created an truly evil character in Julia. My chief concern is that Prue wasn't this whiny princess in the first chapter but her personality is descending toward that of a twelve year old at an alarming rate. They are two very insecure people.

I'm starting to wonder if it is Julia acting alone.

How could she arrange the man leaving the house in what had to be minutes? Did she overhear his conversation with Prue or did someone else in the cafe... someone with the means to get anything they want?

But the characters are weighing the story down. Prue seems to be a spoiled princess and Peter is the most gullible sucker out there. Julia also doesn't live up to the truly manipulative and evil tag because her "victims" are so easy.

Still... the writing and descriptions have me hooked.

Well written, but what's the pont? Just stupid.

nothing new here in your remarks . So I gave it my standard 5

And stirs the emotions. What more can you ask for? 5*. And, when it comes to our humanity, there is nothing the mind can conceive that we cannot achieve, saintly or evil. In therapy, I have had the perplexed, the naive, the bullies, the perverse, and the truly evil. We are all out there!

Good as usual Miss A ... but these two characters are kinda dumb, jumping to conclusions, he especially doesn't talk to Prue when he should, listens anonymous texts despite the very apparent manipulation going on by Jules. Kind of like immature teenagers in adult bodies... they should benefit humankind by not reproducing.

But I have to admit it doesn't appear that the two of them together could manage to boil water. The fact that they can't even seem to talk to each other is both pathetic and laughable. And letting other people decide their lives for them isn't helping. Doesn't one of them know anyone that understands how to figure out where the "anonymous" texts are coming from? Everyone knows at least a couple of geeks these days. Why are the two of them being so cavalier about their marriage? It's aggravating. Time to wrap this up.

I know there must be some snipe around here somewhere.

There's not. No story either. Just suckers.

We all see what the false friend wants...We all hope she has a painful death in the end...But our doubt is: Is she the favorite character of the writer? If she is, she will win in the end...because these two are more dumb than a rock...3* for now, for the writing...

Much better chapter. Actually, it was soaring along splendidly and then you threw the monkey wrench into it. What is Julia up to? Your unpredictability is so,etching I love about your writing. However, there seemed to be some plot flaws. For example, when did Prue find out about the pictures? Did I miss that?

I do feel that there is more to this story than meets the eye. I am wondering what twist you have up your sleeve.

So I gave it my standard 5. Now that's what I call constructive criticism. Always the same score no matter what's written or by whom. Really constructive?

I like the quiet suspense in your tone. I am fascinated by the plot and love your characters. On to ch. 3!

Mein kempf provoked strong emotions too... Wouldnt give it A 5.

Essentially what we have here is Over the top super contrived story of 2 people who may be amongest the 10 stupidest who have ever gotten married.

Big deal. Whoever is manipulating them...i am cheering for. At least they arent morons

I'm guessing the cucumber means she did the deed and there was no drunken gang rape. Which means she violent ly sexually assaulted her friend in an over the top plot. This is not a tragic comedy, is turning into a non con with hateful characters that don't make sense.

It was just like this. Stupid suspicious gullible people are really not that interesting

about two stupid people. Nice experiment, but dragging on. You should have begun with two fast-thinking, stubborn, cocksure people with past reason to believe their immediate puzzle-solving intuitions, and then enlarged the conspiracy to surround them. Or else dumbed them down to where their behavior is credible. Nice experiment, but end it!

..... a suspense of sorts, from Angique. And I'm loving it.

I think this is much bigger than Julia alone. Daddy dearest?

Julia, 'The Devil's Advocate' ?

Anyhow, this is easily worth a 5.

Thanks for sharing.

Well, my hopes for something positive took a turn for the worse, but maybe love will win out. Of course they are silly, and are being actively conspired against. Julia showed a bit too much of her hand- wouldn't he notice how well-timed the texts are? Planning a leaving car is pretty complicated, but heck, there's a reason these things are called fiction. More pitiful anons (and that Harry fellow who has no filter): you don't have to read submissions just so you can gripe about them. Get a nice, more productive hobby.

Very frustrating story, daft really but 5* for the writing.

No one is this stupid, yes I know it’s just a story but you could have at least given them both at least one brain cell between them. Just too stupid to be readable ⭐️

I’m hoping this rolling snowball continues to gather momentum.

Watching Peter’s character develop is like an old-time candlemaker at work. Each dip adds another layer of D’oh!