All Comments on 'Petra'

a good story would like to see it developed to give hope, words are cheap it would be nice to see what happened in the office. her boss seemed to have his own stresses, it reminded me of something my father used to say. " A business has three generations, the first creates it, the second builds it and the third destroys it . I made me wonder if he was the fourth generation trying to save his heritage. You are a good writer

but please don't end it there, I want to read at least another chapter how things change for her (and the boss).

Que Sera Sera for Petra. TK U MLJ LV NV

You have written this story very well, showing the evil that some people have to endure.

What happened to Petra is what is more and more happening in our so called civilised society. Petra was lucky, her boss saw her troubles and is taking steps to improve her work.

BUT for all the other people who are pushed to the edge of endurance and reality and then out of desperation go on a killing spree. Who helps them, no one, they just get condemned, when society itself has caused the problem.

You have done an excellent job of portraying a persons awful situation and the initial steps of her recovery.

I would really like to see this story continue.

Thankyou.

Thank you for a vision of what could be from a supervisor that believes its okay to be human.

For someone who uses the pen name you do - namely, "I read to relax" - your writing seems to do the exact opposite for me. So I'm going to give the feedback that I most often give to others: Please, for the love of God...GET AN EDITOR!!!

Your story had a decent plot, your characters were not over-developed and there wasn't a ton of backstory that the reader had to slog through. For that, I commend you. However, there is a tremendous problem with homophones, as well as with grammar in general, and a competent editor will be a tremendous asset if you're planning on posting more work.

Okay, okay, I know that right now you're wondering, "Why is this guy busting my chops over this? Nobody else even mentioned stuff like that?"

Well, it comes down to this: for me, reading fiction is all about immersing myself in the world which the author has created. I want to try and get as much out of the words I read as the author put into them. This is something that every reader of fiction does, whether they know it or not, and its actually got a technical term: Suspension of Disbelief.

So what is Suspension of Disbelief? In one sense, it's the ability for the reader to set aside the fact that he or she knows the work they are reading is fiction and, in doing so, to imbue the characters, environment and plot of the work being read with a sense of legitimacy (or, simply put, to just ignore that it's a book and believe, instead, that it's real). If an author cannot create and maintain that sense, then all they've done is put words on a page. Whatever intent they had, when writing their work, is wasted. Since this is so important, it is something which great authors (and good editors) focus on - plot shifts must be logical within the context of the work that's come so far, the blatantly foreign concepts must have a solid backstory so that the reader can accept whatever logic is behind them, surprise endings only work if the reader is able to look back through what they've read to see that the clues were there the whole time...and, most importantly, that spelling and grammar are UTTERLY ESSENTIAL when building a fictional world.

You lost me in the first paragraph.

Most people, when they read, have a form of internal "voice" that allows them to hear the words they're reading. If the spelling and grammar is poor, then that means that the reader's voice is going to be 'saying' things that don't make sense...and that means that they're not going to be able to suspend their disbelief.

Take the first three paragraphs of your work to a competent editor, and see how much red ink is on the page when it is returned to you.

Basically, I enjoy the promise which your writing shows...but, without an editor to clean up your sloppy spelling and miserable grammar, it's really not worth putting myself through the punishment of reading.

Iread2relax, is a description of your method of self-entertainment. If it is not a description of you as a writer. It's just a pen name!

As for your writing style. I thought you made it perfectly clear that this was an internalized explanation of your feelings and experiences at that point of your life.

That this is an experiment in writing, for good and for bad. Where the important point is your own consideration. Disregarding other POV's as irrelevant to this story.

In my own writing, I am a sadistic bastard towards my readers. I often experiment with style and method to communicate ideas.

It amazes me the number of readers who whine like little bitches because I forced them to think. Oh, the horror of it all!

Ir2r, tou just go right ahead and write your stories as you choose.

A lot of these problems people whine about are caused by the cacophony of incompatible technology we have inflicted upon ourselves to have the shiny toys.

Spellcheck is homophone-phobic and auto-replace functions can be hilarious when they put the wrong word in the right place.

Remember to say good morning to my fellow co- works.

Have a great holiday weekend ....

Loved it as with everything you take the time out to provide for us to read. I would love for you to continue this story. Not one single person that is a good person like Petra deserves what she has gone through. It would be nice to see her have some good come to her life.

I enjoy your writing and although there are sometimes spelling mistakes your stories are always an enjoyable read. Please keep up the good work. I could sympathise with Petra and know that there are some people out there who behave like the others in her office. I am glad her boss has found out and is going to do something about it. Thank you again. Keep on writing please.

For the read.

Your writing is so good, that my heart went out to her. It would be nice if the story did continue, as it looks as though she has made a friend with her boss. It would be good to see their relationship blossom, and hopefully for Petra to find love. :)

I just love mushy happy endings. :)

The most intriguing plot issues: product of a rape; mother who is mostly a stranger; grew up a loner and timid. I am writing this after other chapters have been released, but I have not read them, yet. I will soon. So far I am intrigued, but will withhold my vote until I see the whole.

Thank you for your time and talent. I hope I continue to feel grateful.

I loved it!

Thank you for writing this character and this story. Not everyone grows up with high self-esteem/self confidence. Sometimes it takes years before it is developed within a person. I hope things look up for Petra!