All Comments on 'Picked Her Up at the Diner'

Payback is a real BITCH.......TK U MLJ LV NV

very good ending

Murder porn, of course there are going to be a few knuckle-draggers that pump their fists. I have to think there's some point to this beyond the story. That's just some stock footage. Trying to troll the Rambo-wannabes out of the brush to read a story that had to have taken all of half an hour to write? Making some weird point? Going to show that anything can get the IQ-challenged to give it a four, so long as the cheaters are murdered? Who knows? Who cares?

Why do you ball less assholes and sluts love all these LW stories where the cheating whore and lover get away with cucking a clueless husband? Now you get all whiney when the husband gets revenge. Hope he saved an arrow for Judy.

watching the simpletons alternately lick the balls of the author and spooge over the story then froth at the mouth when anyone points out how idiotic, banal, and amoral this useless waste of a story really is, hehe.

Dead men don't write stories.

And ReedRichards doesn't write stories like this and mean it.

Is Arrow in Bastard's Heart better than Burning The Bastard? A new genre, perhaps? Instead of BTB we have ABH

Lue

Ps: Judy hadn't sometime changed her name from Allender, had she?

. . . that he hoped Steve had saved an arrow for Judy. Maybe he did, who knows, but I wrote this in first person, from Gary’s perspective, and he died without knowing what happened to Judy after their one fuck.

There’s no particular moral to this story, other than that, the demonstration that one cheater doesn’t know what’s going on in his lover’s life.

Hey dipshit, every other category has higher aggregate scores for submissions because every other category doesn't have a brigade of neckbearded closeted virgins voting 1* like it actually means something in the real world to the rest of us who have actual lives outside the LW comments.

LOL

That's what a philandering asshole deserves - death. Too bad it wasn't a shot to the cock first - then to the heart.

5/5

Non Erotic is still Non Erotic and should be there.Zero star

If he's dead, how can he be telling us this story?

Nice to see the predator feel consequences. Maybe a bit extreme, but didn't bother me. Solid writing and consistent.

Thank you for writing and looking forward to reading more from you.

What did I just read?? Why tell this story from the hound dog’s perspective if the story just abruptly ends like that? So, we’ll never know how many years the killer gets to serve in prison? Or does he get away with it somehow? The guy’s wife cheats on him, and that’s the hound dog’s fault? Which he pays for with his life?? What about the cheater herself? Does she get a slap on the wrist? A mere divorce? I mean, if this guy is a stone-cold killer, surely one more murder wouldn’t bother him, right?

And what’s with the money? The man’s last dying thought is about money? How did he earn that money? Was he planning to live the rest of his life on a meager $85K? What on earth did that have to do with the rest of the story? And why would the murderer ransack his house afterward? Was it all a setup?

I guess this is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek? A flash tale? A morality play? I honestly have no idea what I just read or why it was written! One of the most bizarre stories ever posted here.

Justice, I hope he beat her butt too.

My criticism is simple. I hate first person stories that result in the death of that person... the way the story reads sets me at ease in a feeling of conversation, like I am listening to the guys story... but then he dies. It’s jarring to me as a reader because that means the conversation I was hearing couldn’t have happened. Writing paradox...

Maybe she and her husband work together to get these guys?

"What did I just read?? Why tell this story from the hound dog’s perspective if the story just abruptly ends like that? So, we’ll never know how many years the killer gets to serve in prison? Or does he get away with it somehow? The guy’s wife cheats on him, and that’s the hound dog’s fault? Which he pays for with his life?? What about the cheater herself? Does she get a slap on the wrist? A mere divorce? I mean, if this guy is a stone-cold killer, surely one more murder wouldn’t bother him, right?"

I was actually toying with a follow-up story, from Gary's perspective, in Hell. He'd be relating his stories to another guy in Hell, and eventually he'd find out about Judy, when she got to Hell, and Steve, when he did as well.

I imagined the cheaters' room in Hell as being all men, all straight men, so they couldn't get any sex while down there, except for the demons who showed up from time to time to sodomize a few of them. The only exception to the all-male population would be Hillary Clinton, whom even the most perverted man would never fuck.

There might be a window into the cheating wives' room in Hell, where the men could see what became of their lovers.

Still, the assholes like Gary would have as much status in Hell as anyone could, 'cause Lucifer appreciates assholes.

The only problem with that idea is that I'm not sure I have 4,000 words worth of material for it. I'd try to write it humorously.

I've got two Romance stories started, and writer's block on both of them for how to move them forward. :(

Why is it appropriate to depict adultery, cruelty, intellectual and emotional savagery, but for some reason typical visceral anger and revenge are, Inappropriate? Or is it just depicting revenge murder that is over the top? Or is it the realism that upsets the Life Is Precious crowd. But assholes who seduce stupid evil wives get murdered frequently, its real, and it shouldn't be a surprise to find it described in a story.

What I find most ironic, and hypocritical about the Life Is Precious complainers, is that their concern ends when the victim is an unborn child, and the person procuring the child's death is its mother. Revenge and Inconvenience, two morally bankrupt excuses for taking a human life. But it happens every day.

A very stark and brutal flash story about human weakness and moral corruption. Thanks for depicting a seldom seen dark side to adultery and retribution.

Not only should you write that story, but I would PAY to read it! LOL!

"I love Justice, I hope he beat her butt too."

One thing you will NEVER read from me is any story glorifying or justifying a man beating a woman.

I hope the husband finds the cash and uses it to pay a lawyer. Take the kid and leave her cheating ass in the cold. Unless the wife returns to the cabin, it could be a long time before the body is found. Should be mostly consumed by nature.

he must not have been able to clean out his wifes spunkfilled cunt this week, maybe her bull or her have the flu

Why do we place such value on sex but consign human life to the grave when it becomes convenient?

How does one justidy the other?

Be angry, sure. Get a divorce. But murder?

and was looking for it! And the wife really knew her husband: "my husband isn't stupid". All her past lovers were killed also! A good story. Just an advice: Don't listen @swingerjoe and @luedon! Their life theories will fuck up your mind!

In the LW alternate universe, if you fantasize about your wife having sex with another man (as 58% of men do, according to the most recent study), then you are a “sick fuck.” If you fantasize about murdering someone, then you’re a real man.

And what about a whore ?

could also write Closet Cuckold heaven where lonely insecure virgins read cheating stories, wank off, then leave nasty comments... wait... that place sounds familiar...

Lololololol ...... and then she woke up and realized it was all a dream. Endings like that just feel cheap.

Nice short!

"cuck in a closet"

I did some, admittedly quick, research, and yes, it's true, that many men do FANTASIZE about their woman having sex with other men, but that those are FANTASIES, not necessarily reflecting reality.

Also, as many comments on cuck stories have mentioned, latent bi-sexuality is often a driving force in these fantasies!

Isn't that what this site is for? Fantasies? Isn't that what fiction is all about?

My point is that fantasizing about your wife having sex with another man (for ANY reason) is very common, while fantasizing about murdering someone seems relegated to the truly sick fucks with sociopathic tendencies. Yet, if you were to judge these two fantasies by the scores and comments such fictional fantasy stories generate in this section of this erotic fantasy fiction website, you'd be rightly confused.

Murder gets only one mention in the Ten Commandments. 'Thou shalt not kill'.

But not only shalt thou not commit adultery, thou shalt not even covet thy neighbour's wife. (Along with his ass, his lawnmower and his other possessions.)

Adultery is clearly the worse transgression. If the Bible says so, it must be right.

Lue

Actually, the Commandment is "Thou shalt not commit murder." There have been some poor translations that said otherwise, but that version would bar self-defense, for example. An arrow for a bull, however, is murder.

RR, you stepped outside the box with this one and made a good job of it. Some object to POV character dying, but it didn't pull me out of the story. I'm pretty sure I've read it happening in big name writer's story, but can't remember where.

One comment to Anons who write only insulting comments about people like you and Joe, (two men whose outlooks seem to be worlds apart) at least these folks, and others, have balls enough to sign their IDs so people like you can address them directly. Seems the least you could do when you insult them would be to point out something in the story to back up your charge.

My amazement at why more writers don't block your comments is only matched by my inability to comprehend why Laurel and Co don't require membership for voting or commenting. Aw well! it's their ball and their field; I'm just glad they let me play on it.

Would have been great if you had added another 6-7 paragraphs about what you eat and how you keep the place all spic and span

I like BTB. Bitch or bastard. I like RAAC. But I've never read a story where some asshole kills another human being for fucking his wife and enjoyed it. No ballistics on an arrow? How about his fingerprints on the arrow and in the cabin after he searches it? This dumbass is going to prison for the rest of his life. Ugly story.

Who was the killer? Was it Judy's husband or one of the other 200 sluts he screwed in his cabin?

If it was Judy's husband what happened to Judy?

Story seems incomplete to me.

Jesus said "... no man knows the day or hour" It seems that the author has found a new way to preach to the choir

“The guy’s wife cheats on him, and that’s the hound dog’s fault?“

Yes, swingerjoe, it is. It takes two to tango. She didn’t come looking for him, he made a pass at her. They both own responsibility. He didn’t stop when she told of her husband being just outside and she showed up the next day and went to his place. How can you think you’d do something that would be emotionally devastating and not have potential for a strong physical reaction?

So if I tell you to jump off a bridge and you do it, it’s my fault?

This reflects the modern-day “progressive” mindset where no one is responsible for his or her own actions. Whenever something bad happens, it’s because of someone else or some nebulous “societal problem.”

Whatever happened to personal responsibility?

In this context, murdering the man who had sex with your wife only makes logical sense if you believe women aren’t capable of making their own decisions and taking personal responsibility. If a wife is nothing more than an object or possession, then killing her lover is similar to beating up the kid who took your toy without asking.

A change of pace that fooled me completely.

I don't know which is worse, making your wife a possession or loaning her out to your friends for their enjoyment. Of course if you enjoy being a cuckold?

' You better be tough if you're gonna act stupid ' .

Guess he wasn't as tough as a Broadhead .

Awesome ending sending a scumbag to hell with an arrow to the heart! Nicely written and while I expected a longer story building up the sudden retribution was a welcome ending! He should have listened to his waitress, we all know they know best!

Full marks 5*

A new take on the Valentine stories! That dude was no cupid, that's for sure!

Great ending, Didnt see that one coming

They aren’t even close to the same statements. I did not clear the wife of responsibility. We don’t know what happened today her. However, her reckless behavior does not exlud the asshole for his part of the situation. My statement had nothing to do with the right or wrong of murder, you numb nuts. It was the shifting of blame from one person simply because because that person was not personally directly involved in a relationship. You are reading your personal bias into the answer because you feel infidelity is simply between husband and wife. That a rational decision is expected from a completely and wholly irrational situation. He was shot in the chest with an arrow because he made a conscious decision to interpose humeself into a marriage without regard to all parties being in agreement. Reap what your sow and be responsible for choices you make. If you decide to be a womanizing flake you might die. It is a possibility. Even if he had shamelessly flirted in the restaurant but stayed away the next day he would likely not have an arrow shaft jutting from his chest. Your kind of thinking is precisely why asshats feel it is okay to hit on married women.

Actually, there was a recent case in which a young woman was held responsible after she urged a depressed guy to commit suicide, and he did. I didn’t agree with the decision, but it happened.

Killing the guy who cucked you is stupid? Yeah, it is, but we all know it happens. I was writing a story about what can happen, not what I’m urging people to do. I wanted this story to be different, and I think it was.

Hey, 𝐒𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐀𝐆, go eat your usual cum treat from wifey's pussy, and when you are done, do us all a favor and go eat a gun for dessert, you CUCK MORON.

I agree that you wrote a different story, and I wholeheartedly encourage writers to write outside of the box and give us something different. I have no problem with that whatsoever. My problem is with the knuckle-draggers who cheer on the murderers in these stories, as if murder (or any other form of violence) is a completely justified reaction to infidelity.

Hey swinger Joe . You need to eat my used condoms ya full on fag . This was a good story . Let's see your fag as do better

5 stars here

As expected, your story is well written with an interesting plot. But, this ending leaves me thinking how did he write this if he’s dead? Did he survive and live to continue this tale? What happened to Judy?

Thanks for sharing your talent.

Sorry to add to the already too long stream of comments, but I don't think much of it.

So you couldn't find any of the old cliches, huh, like strange car in the driveway or cum in the panties? So you had to write a different story? Well good for you.

This had potential to be a much longer story with more plot and character development. It felt like you just dashed off the ending in a hurry to be through.

You or someone else should take the story and turn it into a five-parter.

For those who wonder, an arrow in the heart means you are dying, especially if you are not right next to a hospital. And telling the story from the grave is not unusual at all. If

N fact it nearly always makes a more interesting story.

Good job!

In fiction, you can kill your wife's lover, steal his money and piss on him when you leave. With any luck he'll kill his cheating cunt also.

Five Stars

for great fiction

"My last conscious thought was a strange one". And now, I suppose, we're going to hear about your unconscious thoughts.

But even funnier was the anonymous commentator who wondered whether it was worse to treat your wife like a possession or loan her out. It's there. Read it for yourself.

ReedRichards, First of all, you're a good and interesting writer. Ignore the critics (especially those "brave" anonymous ones) that only like to be critical. They probably couldn't write past the second grade level.

This story's surprise ending was good. Yes, I've actually known characters like these. The lonely and unsatisfied wife. The opportunistic predator. Those of us who have written many stories appreciate the time and effort to do so. Keep up the good work.

Great quick and dirty story!

The majority of the story was erotic but it ended in murder. I was looking for eroticism and not murder. And just how did he tell the story with an arrow in or near his heart that killed him? Logic free!!

Loved it, Every guy who takes another mans wife deserves the same. Great story

Enjoyed the story a second time. You got a lot of comment from ever which away, as we say down home, some thoughtful, some hate filled. Most of the hate comes from the fearless anonymous avenger. SJ doesn't agree, but at least he is civil. He also writes, so we can needle him when it's called for. Unfortunately, he's been so good recently, I haven't been able to burn him. Everyone crying about murder porn, including some usually sharp people, didn't see that it was a parody of all the extreme BTB stories we see here. Personally, I like seeing the cheating partner burned instead of the wife. I still hope she got a little justice.

its just not your day, TK U MLJ LV NV

I enjoyed reading this story but you should edit Life in Hell and warn the readers that reading “Picked Her Up at the Diner” first would make a few things easier to piece together. Also, it would be interesting if while Gary was dying Judy’s husband told him how he learned of his wife’s cheating. Did he have a tracking device on her car because he knew she like fresh meat or did Mary, the married waitress who didn’t seem to approve of their plans, give Judy's hubby a call when she saw her leave with Gary? If it was a hunting arrow in Gary’s chest I’m sure her husband would pull it out to prevent anyone from tracing it back to him. The blades would do enough damage going in to kill Gary but collapse as it was being pulled out to be used later.

I can understand the authors motivation in writing this story but, it probably ought to have a tag of MURDER attached to it. He had me engrosed in the story until the surprise ending and I would have rather seen a different outcome than what the story presented.

For all those out there that are blaming the guy who was morally wrong what about the gal. The story did not say that she was coerced into screwing him so she bears equal responsibility. Reasonably the husband should have put an arrow in her heart, too. But, this writer is no advocating that! One murder is one too many. The husband should have handed the guy $100.00 and told him to go buy himself a good piece of ASS!

Another scumbag bites the dust! Ain't no pussy in this world worth dying for!!

For a pussy hound like this, he's lucky to have made it to 200+ women.

This sucked.

Bill S.

This wife needs to pay for her wayward thighs. It's unfair for only one asshole to pay. Neither one made a 'mistake'. It was planned.

Should have been her with him.