by kublicon
5+++ stars. If this is chapter 1, can't wait for chapter 2.
If by some chance it's not him , then what in the shit was this ?
So from Monday to Friday , he learned of his wife's deceit . No saying how he did it , just poof he magically now knows.
What was the IHOP scene all about ?
Then he goes home and everything hits just as he planned it , like the cheaters version of the Keystone Cops .
As everyone who reads in this hub probably knows , I enjoy a good cheating and consequences storyline , but it's got to have some modicum of believability !
And then just to cap the stack , he caps himself .
Not buying what you're selling today Joe !
For a first timer. Looking forward to Ch. 02 Thanks for sharing.
How many times are people going to fall for this? Not funny, not cute, just sophomoric and stupid. Move on, people, same old "let's get the low brow mouth breather BTB crowd to make fools out of themselves by praising idiocy."
A twist on Groundhog Day; keep it up interested to see where it's going.
What the fuck is wrong with everybody? This was a decent start to a cheaters getting what's coming to them tale. Way better than most everything that is coming out today. Stop complaining. We all know it's fiction. Some of us like the idea of a cheating cunt with shit in her mouth. If you don't, who gives a fuck. Please continue...
By the way, I loved Groundhog Day. That was fiction also.
Or was it?
Totally didn't see that ending coming. Inspired. More please.
Having read this...it will either be very interesting or very stupid. The enema has me doubtful. The Groundhog Day theme is...it offers possibilities.
Let's see what you do with it. At present, you have hopeful benefit of the doubt.
I think it's a good start...but we have to wait and see what the next parts will bring...3* for now
Nothing but B.T.B stories with no sex here lately.What has this site become???
At least you tried to write a different story, but arrwwg! Just awful.
Great hook. Very enjoyable "Groundhog Day" spoof. I cant't wait to see how it unrolls. *****
Will he fuck it up?
Why would anyone bother to rate this at this point? We don't even know what the hell this is?
brought the gun back to the house and taken care of the two assholes first. Then if he wants to end it - do it after they are dispatched.
4/5 for almost getting it
The part with the water hose and the live action clown game got a genuine gut busting laugh out of me. Well done.
No. I mean, nice try with Groundhog Day but it ain't working.
?????Face palm
? Roll eyes
?? Vulcan greetings
Because you used a great song, a great movie and hilarious reactions. Looking forward to more, after all when you repeat the same day over and over....
I think this is a one-off for the author by design.
The tagline is to give a hint to the groundhog day movie theme. (Although, this obviously wasn't his first trip through the wormhole)
But the very idea of the themed movie plot reference is ALSO the very bite of the painful experience because, all he wants is the next chapter to come, but he is still trapped in the time distortion loop, so tomorrow never comes.
Really LW audience? Do you really think we'll ever see a serial of this EXACT character's GD life? Uh no, I think not. What we WILL see is some other authors take their personal stab at the time-loop distortion gimmick (which of course has already been done quite a few times here in LW land), and consider the variations just part of the same type of serial for our reading enjoyment.
But I don't think this author really means to continue it.
Nor has he the need to, because this story has already asked its ultimate question.
For this cuckold, would the groundhog day type scenario in fact be the worst kind of torture? (having to relive the day he discovered this great betrayal over and over again) Or for the right type of cuckold (I assume that would be paul pines, or xleg lover) would this type of scenario actually be the perfect paradise of some sort auto-fellatio perfect storm of pleasure?
It boils down much, like it ALWAYS has here in LW land,
Just which kind of cuck are you?
And I feel, whatever the gimmick used, this work was actually a pretty good job, with some genuine LOL moments. I gave 4 stars, and admit curiosity as to what some of this author's OTHER ideas will be.
That is unless of course this name is just a one-off too, because they usually go by another name-de-plume around here. Bah, if its conspiracy theories your after, just make up a few of your own.
Lastly, this story DOES work well, BECAUSE it is really just about the perfect length, for a Joke set-up to a punchline. Thanks!
Bill Murray popped into my head after reading this... LOL
Michaela McNulty
I thought the comment that premised this may just be a one off, and the author expects others to write follow on chapters is quite meta and amusing. Not sure if correct. But even with completely different aesthetics an approaches that could work, because of the GD theme. When you lose moorings, you'll swing in different directions between anger and depression and simply start trying things.
Clearly this was not the first day or the tenth for the character. I think they've estimated GD was decades to centuries of replay. What would this character be learning from the process?
Anyway, thanks for the story. I suspect the comments section will be lively, and I look forward to seeing if you are indeed writing further chapters, and if not, how long before other authors do.
One estimate had Groundhog Day last about thirty years. Lots of time for this tale to evolve.
Interesting idea for btb and a take on groundhog day...only problem I can see is with such short chapters we will be seeing installments for a long time.The story implies this has happened before,this isn't the first cycle,that explains the restaurant and killing himself,realizing he is in a loop and not able to get out of it. The real question j
Is it seems like the wife has cheated a lot,yet he stayed with her,you would figure he would try leaving her to see if that broke the pattern.
The garden hose up the butt with that kind of pressure would likely cause major damage to the bowels and could cause death by shock or heart attack,or internal bleeding.
I have no idea what our intrepid hero will have to face next but that was the funniest intro into a story I have ever read. And the most confronting, And it was done within a page? Come on fellow commenters this story goes outside the usual parameters that we use to judge for stand alone/part/chapter length.
I gave our author 5* as not only did I find the length quite sufficient in fact I think any addition or subtraction would have detracted from the text.
From a character development POV I felt quite comfortable with all the characters. Is it really necessary that we know the bra size of every female that usually plays the hot wife, or the length of her husband's puny cock size or her lover's cock size. Don't some of us think that we have gone beyond that information. And finally the conclusion/end of our story.
I rarely have a problem with authors who leave it to his reader to apply the ending of their own. But our brave author knows his critics and knows that it would not be long before they would post a critique of his text and make reference to our author's use of the movie Groundhog Day. How many pages of text did that save him and save us from reading.
Let's not stick to rules and regulations for they stifle imagination. How can we complain that there is no longer any original plots and then complain when an author turns to reference a movie in an attempt at originality-?
Interesting bit of reading. Got my attention. Let's hope it doesn't fall flat.
1. Yes, this is a multi-part story, and yes the following chapters will be longer. It just seemed natural to end part one on the "twist."
2. I am a new author. This is my first story (and first comment) on Lit. First time caller, long time listener.
3. I have enough to post Pt.02 and maybe Pt.03 right now, but I'm going to space them out 1-2 weeks so I can keep ahead.
4. Thanks for reading, constructive criticism and suggestions are welcome.
Nothing to show anyone really. I just wondered how many repetitions would it take before the 'protagonist' stopped trying to do anything but make the cycle end. How long before your protagonist doesn't care about his wife cheating anymore, but just wants it to stop and will do anything to get it to stop?
Of course, in my story, it's not a short time. The lead has to relive their entire life from a certain moment until they die, over and over, and has done it hundreds of thousands of times, to the point where his brain no longer has space to story the memories of his life and he can't separate them anymore. And he has a perfect memory, so he never forgets even the smallest detail.
Really good until you killed the hero. Screwed yourself out of 2 pts . Man up
I liked your story. My comment has to do with the original songwriter. The "baby don't hurt me... no more" actually means "baby hurt me" due to the double negatives.
Yes, I acknowledge we just overlook what was actually written and replace it with what the intention originally was... but the poor English grammar can't be ignored.
Oh, I do like the catchy, original song but every time I hear it I remember it is written in "gutter speech" by someone who doesn't speak English correctly.
that his Friday morning was on repeat, again, and again, and again.
I think this is a great story and I feel it will be a wild, crazy and very fun 5* ride!
Most of the complaints so far seem to indicate that many don't get he's in a time loop. The comment about her cheating before isn't what it would seem at face value. He's just heard her say a variation of the same thing many, many times as he's gone through what is probably the worst day of his life more times than is good for his sanity. He killed himself, not out of despair of the situation, but to exit the loop without having to deal with the fallout (this time).
Kudos for the story and I'm looking forward to where you take it.
I really liked the garden hose bit. At first I though he was going for the Porsche, but his plan was much better - especially the enema.
Loved the movie and really love this story. Reliving the same day? Hilarious!! Wonder how you're going to write yourself out of it though. Overall I had to laugh when I got to the ending. Excellent story. 5 stars for some really good creativity.
What an odd story. I don't understand lots of it, but I read it for the train wreck quality. Oh, I hate when people waste food- for shame!
Its not ground hog day. Its Hell where you repeat your sin of suicide over and over. The rest would have been a pass, but killing oneself over a cheating slut, mortal sin.
First of all, welcome to the writing side of Literotica! If you are a long time listener you probably understand the different vibes that the LW section has. Tread carefully and you will be fine.
As for the story, I liked it ... a lot!
To me it had a great mix of humor and angst and was just an enjoyable read all the way around. I look forward to reading the next chapter. To think of all the different ways you could torture them time after time. Brilliant!
Thank you so much for sharing and I look forward to reading more of your stuff.
Ahaz
This was a fun good read , you sir don't have to eat any condoms. Stick with the BTB . YOU ARE GREAT AT IT . DON'T BECOME A CUCKY SHIT 5 STARS
Funny😄.Sad😪. Entertaining as all🎭❗
Gave you 3*s. Oh great Kuhbla Khan.lol.
Too bad it's only 1 page long.
Thank you for the story. It's very good. Maybe you should have gotten 4*s❓ HA, Ha, ha...
AMerryman
I can't believe this story is scoring so low. It's not often that something DIFFERENT comes down the pike. I'm curious to know how long he's been stuck. Does he already know all the details of the affair? Have they already had their come to Jesus moments over and over again? Is he a master ice sculptor yet? I look forward to finding out.
I laughed, I spit beer out my nose, I hurt I laughed so hard. Until the Glock came out.
Then I quit laughing. A very....moving....story. 5 Stars.
does not need another word!!! Widoed twice, I have thankfully, never experienced this!
Re-read after reading part 2, and it is a great story until now, well written, and with a different premise that most stories here. Why the low score? Is it upsetting the gay/cucky group and the BTB group both?
and hard to understand what happened at the end. Is he dead, was it a dream?
" The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town
You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere
You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace
It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination
You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day
Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case
See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out
It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day
Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case "
Full marks * * * * *
I don't know how so many caught onto the "Groundhog Day" thing right off the bat. I had to read part two and then, like "Fight Club" it all made sense. Just reading this part quickly, it seemed a very typical story, mostly because I missed all of the clues, and there are many. Why would he order one of everything and then offer a 50% tip? It didn't matter. Why invite the fight with the angry dad? Even if he was pounded, he'd fell better in the morning. He had had the cheating conversation many times and she never minimized her cheating? Apparently he's gone through numerous scenarios when he walks in. "If I didn't know what was coming it would have worked"? So many clues that I totally missed. I like to blame it on the fact that I skim stories that do not look too promising, thus missing the many hints tossed out. Great work here!
I have been working on a story in my head for months that is a Groundhog Day mash-up with the Loving Wives genre. Not only did you beat me to it, but you're executing it far better than I could have!
Excellent work. I can't wait until the next chapter!
Really? Garden hose enema turned double shit vomit? Beautifully warped, i love it!
"ALL YOUR PANCAKE ARE BELONG TO ME!"
Like watching the film "Groundhog Day" over and over, you appreciate the genius of the story the more times you read it. A few authors have used the concept of time travel and the knowledge of future events to allow the husband to manipulate events and thus improve his life, once he's discovered a cheating wife, but no one has ever thought to repeat the same day ad nauseam, leaving the husband stuck there, until he actually changed himself to fix his life.
You've built a really nice story here around the "Groundhog Day" plot! I've dropped 5* on all 3 chapters that have been posted to date, but I'm only going to comment here until you wind up the series. I'm eager to find out how Sam breaks out of the loop and what awaits him on the other side.
This is a great start for a new Lit author! I don't know how I stumbled into your work, but I'm sure glad I did.
Thanks so much for writing and sharing your work here. I'm looking forward many more gems from your creative mind as time goes by.
It is incredibly rare to find a story in loving wives that really grabs me. The rollercoaster ride of this story is a true joy. Love it.
I love how you can write such a funny scene from such tragic circumstances. "...sometimes we have to challenge ourselves for art." Sam is the man!
Finished the first chapter again and enjoyed it so much. I realized I should have given you 5*s. Instead of the 3.
You have my sincere apology. I'm sorry😀.
With a second and third reading. It is just better and better. Not just the sharp dialogue. The plot is tight, fast moving, and has all the clues beautifully built in, amazing❗
Thank you kublicon. This is an amazing tour-de-force. This may be the first story you post here, but I don't believe for a minute you haven't written since high school,lol!!
AMerryman
P.S. Kimi 1990 has no sense of humor whatsoever. Reading her comments, put them all together . And there it isn't,🚫.
If some of you are like me I when I'm unsure of a story I read the comments to decide if it's worth my time. Well, this story is certainly worth your time. It is entertaining and kept my interest.
To the author, thank you for sharing. Keep at it because you're doing a very good job.
Please do. Story is truly excellent, and only gets better on repeated readings. Every word has significance, and you only get a real understanding of the narrators emotional state as you progress through the story. So, readers carry on, it will all make sense eventually.
You can't take 6gal/min in the tail. That's a death sentence.
I've read this before, so don't want to spoil it, but IMHO it's well worth the ride!
Yep. Can't stay away from this most excellent story.
Have fun y'all. It's a wild ride but worth it.
Can't wait for your next story.
I've read this entire series front to back 3 times now. It doesn't get old. Best story on Literotica bare none.
The whole thing with the water hose was a stretch but I have seen Hollywood movies that weren't as believable. You've peaked my interest so I'm going to part 2. I will reserve my score for the final chapter.
"YOU WANNA GO BIG MAN! COME AT ME BRO! THIS IS MY I-HOP! ALL YOUR PANCAKES BELONG TO ME!"
Might be the greatest line in a story I've ever heard. Was that a play on "all your base are belong to us"?
I can't add anything that hasn't already been said. But I must admit that this is one of the best retaliation stories I have read on Literotica.
I decided to read this one again and I'd forgotten how it started...
One of the best stories on literotica!
except the Glock Part. I just can't understand why he would bugrlarize his neighbor's house! *****
Reading in bed I couldn’t stop laughing out loud waking my wife who thought I was crazy. Sorry I just couldn’t stop myself.
This story was a bit like chasing a really sexy woman and pulling her clothes off one item at a time only to catch her and drop firmly between her legs... only to find that she is a man! I think you understand what I'm saying! 3 *** FOR THE REALLY FUNNY DELIVERY!
I thought this was great until the end. But then the end is not the end. I wasn't going to rate it because I don't like suicides having had a couple friends do that without any thought to the ones left behind. Glad I continued reading so I could come back and give it 5 stars.
Seriously you morons, it is Pt. 01!
Excellent setup kublicon. Terrifying, sickening and infuriating, but still an excellent setup.
I would NEVER kill myself over ANY woman. Much less a cheating slut...
Great just brilliant start, markt63 ( commenter) stop reading as your never gonna get this, luv it ,just 5 ⭐️, P.
Holy shit pants Batman...you did a groundhog adaption day on a cheating hoe bag.
MarkT63 after reading only ch.1 I knew that is something like the movie "Groundhog Day" and he lived this day hundreds of times. So he knows that he isn't really dead.
Excellent revenge by hose, not sure whats better.... the porsche aquarium or the impromptu enema
Great story. Warning, don't start it if you have things to do. Total page turner, I binge read all six parts.
Wish the author would come back.
☆☆☆☆☆
thank you jmmj5. for suggesting this story, i had previously read part 6 first from another comentors favorites list but didnt enjoy it becuse i hadnt read the first 5. if you read this your in for a hell ofx a story.
I read this whole series a few years ago and loved it then, so am back to see if it was as good as I remember. So far, the story exceeds my recollection. I hope the author is still writing someplace and would love to know where.