All Comments on 'Playing Kissy Face'

Every story is worse than the last one, Billybob. The redneck king of Lit. You really, really need to take a writing class, or something. Maybe just finish the eighth grade and get a GED. Maybe you'll get the redneck vote.

I gave up after a few paragraphs. What the hell is going on? This is the second story I've read tonight by authors who should know better!

that all the characters in these stories talk the way the "post apocalyptic primitive" people in Cloud Atlas talk?

And Brian is 26, trying to fuck 18 year olds and you expect us to feel sorry for him? He chooses to fuck a girl bareback and then is surprised that she ends up pregnant....no wonder his parents are disappointed in him, he's a fucking loser.

But seriously, why do they talk like they're 6?

I read one of this writer's stories and I don't already know the ending after the second paragraph. Plenty of writers say they are writing for themselves; this one means it.

So, go ahead and vent as much as you want in your comments. I truly don't think that he reads them.

'Writers' like this one, and I use that term loosely who say they write for them selves then put it out there, should keep it to THEMSELVES, this is one of the worst writers I have EVER come across and the reason they sound like 6 year olds is most likely because the 'writer' never grew up.

I feel bad for the baby, everyone else is where their supposed to be. While it wasn't emotionally jarring as some others, it was realistic with a decent ending.

This was a good story.

pot, meet kettle.

Well written characters and dialogue. Painful little cautionary tale of cause and effect. Any more to their story? Redemption for Joi? Fatherhood for Brian?

Always good to see JB44 in New Stories. Thank you. *****

Sad tale, wonderful story about broken people.

Always looking forward to a new story from the people of DeGarde.

As a special favor, could you please write something about Metairie Lawn?

Thank you

Well written, good imagination and expressed realism. Thanks, keep writing....

I don't live in DeGarde

. . . hey, don’t read it! No one is forcing you.

I’ve never been to Cajun country, so sometimes JimBob’s dialect is difficult for me, but dudes, there are plenty of other dialects in this country, from West Virginia hillbilly to urban Philly black. JimBob chooses to write in dialect, and that’s fine with me.

A good story...Sometimes difficult to read, but that happens when we happen to watch a movie taking place in cajun country...If it hasn't this dialect the movie or story isn't realistic...4*

When beginning a sentence you got to capitalize the letter you illiterate child. The most basics of basics in English. Take a class or something.

Enjoy the ride, dudes! Nice to read another of JimBob's off-beat yet entertaining stories.

A slice of small-town Americana, complete with drugs, whores, and a different kind of love.

Thanks JB44

Despite Joi’s cheating this really felt like it should be in non erotic. Felt more like it was a story about Brian’s life. Doesn’t change that it was good and honestly more readers in LW.

Erskine Caldwell lives again on Literotica!

A little slice of life, filled with interesting characters that are completely foreign to me. It’s like watching Jerry Springer. Engrossing from beginning to end. Thanks for this contribution.

Thanks for sharing a super read.

I’ve bee around a lot of Cajuns in my lifetime and I’ve never heard any of them speak the way you portray them.

Sports all the time, all year. But my home life sucked.

My good friends are scattered across the country. I’m envious of someone staying in their hometown and having the situation like Brian. But we make compromises in life.

Real good story. Brought back good and bad memories.

🤘

Unreadable dialogue, and people from the low budget trailer park over across the tracks.

Tone down your characters dialect a little. What you have might be completely accurate, but if you tone it a little, it will be easier and smoother for your audience to read, and they will still get the flavor and tone. Remember, Cajun dialect isn't written, so you don't need to write it out in perfect detail to have it come across well.

I don't normally get the folks who seem to feel they have the right to tell other people where they should post their stories. For instance, a story with a wife and a POC could go in Loving Wives or Interracial, and it's not up to the more obnoxious readers to decide. So I say this with some hesitation, but I don't really see why you would post this in the LW category. It's clearly not in any way shape or form a loving wife story, or erotica for that matter, so it seems like you would be more likely to reach appreciative readers in a non-erotic section.

Thank you for writing. It was certainly interesting.

P.S. The difference between 5'7" and 6'2" is 7" not 13". :)

Oh, my apologies, double checked and I guess you were talking about the difference in height between Joi and either Ricky or Brian. Although since you describing the differences between the two men and then suddenly threw that in, it's an easy mistake to make.

Thanks again. Keep writing.

I have enjoyed JB's stories in L/W to the point that I even looked up DeGarde La. on the map.Yes it is sometimes hard to read but each story contains a message if you are looking for it.

Brian was constantly being compared to his brother and sister by his parents. He had a job they didn't like, he had a house they didn't approve of and he married a girl who tried to trap him. Through it all he finally remembered who he was which might lead to his future happiness.

To all you complainers try writing a story your self and let him have a chance to judge you. JB keep them coming.

Compared to most of the depressing drivel that's usually posted in this category.

Like the Gray Wizzard said he was gone looking ahead and came back because of looking behind.

Page after page, story after story of barely readable nonsense about people no one cares about.

Brian is the dumbass in this story. On the face of things, others may have seemed dumber, but Brian brought everything on himself. Sounds like he had a privileged upbringing. His Brother and Sister seem to be doing very well for themselves. We'd have to know more about that upbringing to understand how he ended up working on oil rigs. Maybe there were some bad choices made when he was younger? He obviously made a bad choice when he went chasing pussy from a woman barely out of high school that was so much younger than he was. He must have known immediately that Joi was dumber than a box of rocks. Why pursue any relationship with her, let alone a sexual one? A bad decision by a stupid man. And that's the feeling this whole story had. Dumb people doing dumb things. It was impossible to feel sorry for any of them. Definitely not a feel good story. Try and be a little more up beat next time. No fun to read this.

I read the entire thing. I am not an asshole that stops after a couple of paragraphs and then complains. I am also not an asshole who can’t understand that the characters are from Louisiana and have a unique dialect. I accept that and don’t fault the author’s writing. This story was not erotic and it barely qualifies to be in the Loving Wives category due to Joi’s infidelity. However it was written well and it was emotional/ it evoked feelings for the characters, whether sympathy or hatred. So while it’s not the best thing I’ve read on here, it’s not the worst by far. Keep writing for yourself and if others like your stuff along the way, then all the better. And you might even win a few more followers if you delete the nasty comments from that low life troll.

I felt disturbed and unsatisfied at the end. I’m left with the feeling that the baby will have a tougher life than either of them did.

Thanks for the effort.

Just a bunch of misery and dumb stuff. This doesn't belong here and shouldn't be on an erotic story site. It shouldn't be anywhere, as a matter of fact. Who wants to read this?

I’m always excited to see a story from JB44. Will it be happy or sad, fast or slow paced, take place in DeGarde or somewhere else. I like the stories.

As for the reader who’s “never heard a Cajun talk like that” you’re confusing heritage with hometown. There are parts of southern La. where most everyone talks like that. Growing up as a child in the 60s, there were pockets within New Orleans that talked liked that.

Don’t think that just because you haven’t heard it, it doesn’t exist.

I recently discovered an amazing dialect I’d missed all these years called Chalmation! Folks born and raised in Chalmette, La. Can hardly understand a word of it. People from there speak very flat at work or with outsiders, so they can be understood. *smile*

So, JimBob, carry on. Your dialect rings true with this now retired former Air Force brat and lifetime traveler now home again in La. My only request would be a DeGarde “Yellow Pages” so I could see all the characters and their relationships with one another.

This is a great piece of writing, my friend. Thank you for this flower growing in the weedy lot of life.

Readers seem to either love JB's stories or hate them. I'm a lover. This is really good. Sure, like many stories it could go in other catagories too, but it works in LW, and you get the lively comments!

Thanks JimBob44!

Another good one from JB44. Five Stars worth in my book. Every time I read one of Jim Bob's loving wife stories I wonder who keeps them Duck Dynasty Boys pretty wives happy happy happy while dem boys 'r huntin ducks & deer? Hmm?

Another snapshot into the day to day life in southern Louisiana. Always enjoyable reading your insight and reading the dialect. Thanks for sharing it!

Thank you !

:))

JimBob!

To get the brass ring the only time you played it. The truth is that he was and is foolish. I'll bet he even falls again.

JB, you are one of the good ones. Appreciate it.

This is like a Bad episode of Jerry Springer. What's the purpose of this? What's so great about the story?

Is the plot spectacular? No

Is it a really well-written? No

Brian the so-called male protagonist in the story is a moron. He fucks a tramp and a whore... And somev reason thinks that the baby is actually his.

This happens about 50,000 times a day in America and who gives a shit?

Just a good read about a man with some balls. May not be the brightest penny in the purse, but he does have convictions. It was his baby, and he will do right by her, while never reconciling with Joi. Another good character for JimBob world.

Go stick your head back up obama 's ass. You may be in Virginia, but you aren't from Virginia. Come up to Lexington, and except for those pussies at W&L, I'll introduce you to some real Virginians. Maybe JimBob will write a revision where Brian stays with Joi, shares her with Ricky and then pays off the tickets and sucks Ricky's dick twice a day. Maybe you'll give it a *3.

"This happens about 50,000 times a day in America and who gives a shit?"

Obviously you do!

Thats a good story , entertaining and sad at the same time

Brian was stupid, and Joi was a brainless whore. Someday, if they both don't continue to fuck up or move on they may get back together. But the story ends with nothing but sadness and resignation.

Drop the Cajun or Redneck or whatever slang or accent you were trying to achieve. It adds a lot to an audio/visual presentation, but adds nothing to a written story. I think it was Hemingway who wrote a story from a retarded person's perspective, trying to present on paper how a mentally dysfunctional person would speak. Its so distracting that the story is lost in the affectation.

As to the plot and characters in this story, it was just too trailer trash common. Stupid people do stupid things and end up with fucked up lives. Brian threw away his entire future for a few dick squirts into a slut pig. Uh, I think that happens with some frequency. So when we read about it its not dramatic, suspenseful, nor surprising. What is most interesting about this story is what happens from this point forward. Maybe his daughter turns out to be some major athletic talent, in the Olympics or something. Maybe he assumes custody of her after Joi finally kills herself in a car wreck, or OD's on Meth after hooking back up with Ricky. Maybe someone will write the interesting part of this story someday.

Thanks for the part you wrote.

Already met them all, cornholed their poop-chutes, made them squeal, then let them scurry back up the 'holler to cry to their cousin-wives what the mean ol' Yankee did to 'em!

Was just going along... yeah, yeah, whatever. Get to the point. Then the remeberance of playing cowboys and indians, and football tied it all together.

Was back in the town I grew up a few weeks ago. Saw the field us kids dug a “fort” in, digging trenches and stealing 4’x8’ plywood from a nextdoor construction site to cover the trenches. Ta-da!!! A Fort. We’d play Cowboys & Indians, or Cops & Robbers. Ride our Schwinn Sting Rays over tracks we’d carved into the dirt, racing and “dog fighting” with squirt guns. Now the field is a Ramada Inn, a 7/11, and a Marie Callendars. And, 4 blocks away, the street I grew up on? Playing football or softball. Yelling, “CAR!!!” whenever a car started down the street. Man. Some of the happiest times of my life. That innocence... Then adulthood. College. Jobs. Marriage. Sick parents. Money issues. Etc.

This story, at that point, just jumped me back to last month, when I saw that field. And those happy times.

Well written, as usual. But the “happy trigger” istantly jumped it to a 5-stars.

Thanks.

jim bob i like the story. the end got to me because it made me wonder how much i missed of my kids life when my ex wife divorced me. we are good now but i missed so much of my son and daughters life.

... is NOT about 'Happy happy!"

It is usually, rather, a collection of vignettes from the lives of those who are going ABOUT their "....lives of quiet desperation." Most of mankind, even in this country, are common people, not yuppies.....

These stories reek of the pathos of the common man.... kinda trashy, talks funny, has values you can't wrap your head around, but it it the vicarious thrill of living this pathetic sucker's life for a mo' that makes, not just THIS piece, but ALL of this author's work worth lookin' at! These are the stories of the Naked City set out in the country!!

This is O'Henry, de Maupassant, et ali; look at the fuckin' anguish... feel their fuckin' pain, hunh? THERE IS THE FUCKIN' DRAMA, ya gods be damned blockheads! It doesn't just reside in gettin' the money, the house and the kids..... someone wrote about the 9 year old sequence, and I couldn't agree more as to its efficacy... I could smell the field's new spring/summer grass, the not quite stagnant pools wherein pollywogs and tadpoles were swimming in numbers so great that they would darken the pool for a sec.. while they waited to be eaten by Garter Snakes a few days hence.

What the hell are you illiterate pud knockers bitchin' about? There were a couple fuck scenes; there's your erotica! There was a cheatin' wife; there's your Loving Wives!

Put your fuckin' peckers down for a god damned minute and celebrate a word painting with ALL of the trimmings... even as the painted characters go about mundane lives that seem scarcely worth living...

JB, when your characters speak, it is like walkin' through a town I've never been to, hearin' its inhabitants converse among themselves, in their own local idiom... and it is fantastic! Keep up the dialect, it gives these characters life, depth, and an interesting facet that is amusing and serious at once...

Keep up the great work JB... love to see your stuff on the 'new' list!

Illegitimus non tatum carborundum!

great read 5*

Yes I did enjoy:). You’re probably the most underestimated author on this site.

You give me an insight to a culture that is foreign to me....Thank you:)

No one writes blue collar like JimBob.

So refreshingly different.

However, this story wasn't quite up

to his usual standard, in my opinion.

Still, a wonderful read.

Thanks!

4 out of 5 from me.

Put me in mind of Dreiser's "An American Tragedy" but of course the parallels aren't all that close, but still, this is real. JB44 does working class poor better than anyone else herebouts. And dialect/vernacular? Like it just fine. Keep it goin', JB.

Your writing makes one feel that they are witnessing the events going on while reading. This is like getting exposed to a world that's out there just out of reach of the average city dweller exposing us to a world of simpler times in rural America. Thanks for the story and I hope you keep writing. 5*

JimBob44,

Always look forward to your stories. Thanks

From India, Kolkata.

Again into JimBob's world, no diner place to be.

I tired of this author's depiction of Southern low income people as losers. They are always dumb, irrational, uneducated immoral and without ambition be they black or white.

Females have sex by age fourteen and by eighteen their druggies, whores doing sex for a hit, have several illegitimate kids and are living in squalor. They all are foul mouthed and unfaithful. Males are drunkards, druggies, sex obsessed whether married or not, and can't hold a job.

Maybe his fans revel in looking down their nose at the less fortunate. I think it is despicable stereotype fostered by elitist writers who don't know jackshit about the decency of the average southerner.

Hey JimBob44 is a local. He calls them as he sees them. Not all of them are dumb just the ones who voted for Trump!

You see a woman on a bench crying, just keep on walkin!

A pleasant change. I would like to read more about Brian and little Candy.

Just a slice of life. It's real and described for what it is. The world is not made up of highly intelligent, prosperous people.There are these others and it's good to have someone write about them without being superior. Well done, JimBob44.

What a sad story. This is one of those stories that I hate and like at the same time. If you intended it to be sad, you were successful. 5*

Kids are always in a hurry to grow up, until they do. They think it's real easy to be an adult. But they learn. Yeah, they learn. The Bear approves, having been 9 once.

The BEAR

Excellent work.

JB44 doesn't do pretty, but he does do great. Stories that is.

I find reading dialect tedious. I've read and enjoyed several of JimBob's stories, but even four pages of it is too much for me. I was reading a story where the MC had a friend who stuttered, and all of his dialog w-w-was l-l-l-like th-thi-this, instead of simply saying, "He stuttered." I'm from the Boston area, some of my stories take place there, I'd never have characters "pahking their cahs!" If I thought the accent was pertinent, I'd say something like, "he said in his broad Boston accent."

Well, this was a very hard read. The "Louisiana dialect" along with the disjointed dialogue and storyline took a lot of the enjoyment of reading what could have been a good story.

Maybe, consider redoing the story using the help of an editor and beta-readers? The parts are there. Unfortunately it has a feel like it's a garlic/onion/chocolate candy. It's just not right.

Thank you for the memories, JimBob.

LWlurker

I can’t believe how many idiot commenters can’t understand the dialogue! They must be dumb Trump supports! Another great story JimBob. There are so few writer on literotica who can’t write! All of your stories are very interesting. Unfortunately there are dumb readers who can’t comprehend your style! I wonder what they would think of English dialects such as Cockney.

The vernacular used in JB44’s stories has its origins in the Cajun dialects, if he attempted to write in plain English his stories would be lacking the very element that makes them original.

Sadly lots of readers are unwilling to invest time or effort, they’re here for their regular fix of naughty and having to think about cadence and timbre is beyond them.

I’m sure JB44 has dumbed down the speech patterns so us plebs have some inkling as to what’s going on and we should thank him for that consideration.

Love your work, look forward to more of the same, hear.

Love your stories, sex not necessary.

He should have used a condom.

Fat, Stupid, and Lazy is no way to go through life...

Joi may have cheated bur Brian is a giant fucking douchbag. I would cheat on him too. Self important asshole.

What a stupid end!!! Joi is a slut.... typical American teenage babymaking trash

The married bitch Joi was fucking Ricky and also giving him money.....what a cheating cunt!! Good on Brian for divorcing the cheating skank and paying child support!!

Once a cheat, always a cheat

A Good, but sad story. Kinda how life seems to go. Thank you. Semper Fi

Sad comment on some people’s reality. Good writing

Very nice, very possible, and all too probable story of good, sad, and bad times in life. No, we ain't ever gonna be 9 again.

Good story.

I wish that you had finished this one, because it only seemed to be about 2/3 of the story. I understand that sometimes the idea, only goes so far... Then, you run out of inspiration and direction. What you wrote is good with lots of promise . Leaving the story hanging, only prompts a 3 star ✨ rating though.

Very engaging. Difficult to write in vernacular…