by onecocktoruleemall
I'm wandering where mom's wondering hands were heading.
And after a few minuets I'd expect both partners to take a break – all that dancing must be tiring.
Is Katie a quarterback – her with those beefy lips!
And is a lier one who lied or one who lay there?
After you’ve had a good read through a dictionary please start to make your sentences flow – they come in short sharp jerks…and for fuck’s sake, keep to one tense or other.
All sons/ brothers should experience such uninhibited love.
The daughter and mother fuck just happened. No introdduction no explanation hell we don’t even know where they fucked. That ruined it for me. *
Your grammar is terrible! There are so many grammar mistakes, it takes away from the story. If you are going to keep writing, get someone to proof-read it before you submit it. I am disappointed that Literotica published it.
Despite some mistakes I like it and would like to see a part three with a threesome
Like I said about the grammar, don't be too concerned about it. Delete any "anonymous" critics, if they had guts they would sign in properly. This not bad, hopefully they all come together, and mom/son coupling is awesome make it permanent!