All Comments on 'Plaything of the Gods Ch. 01'

great story. very interesting i cant wait to knw mre

You have the good framework but it lacks easy flow and colorful scenery. What comes to mind that you might try, is do an exercise where you take your own story line and then rewrite it several different ways each in the style of a different author that you admire. One of my favorites in this forum is 'TaLtos6' whose style effortlessly carries me along on a grand ride. Hope that this is the kind of commentary you are looking for.

story, but where is erotic part?????

An excellent start. One word of advice: don't get hung up on scores and/or feedback. There's always going to be haters, no matter how good your stuff is. And yours IS good.

trough = a long shallow receptacle for the drinking water or feed of domestic animals

through = by means of : by the agency of

Compelling story so far, kept my interest and I look forward to more. But... Please edit... (Through... not 'trough').