All Comments on 'Plundering Rose'

But the constant shift in point of view is distracting. An editor could help with this. Either the reader IS Rose, in which case the third person narrative about Rose is not needed), or you are telling the reader about Rose (in which case the 2nd person "you" language is not needed). Pick one or the other, not both.

This story would benefit from a quick edit. Just a couple of noticed errors, though I wasn't writing them down as I read: Beginning first person/ third person error. Tanned toenails and her margarita turned into a beer.

The story is very enjoyable though, with well-described scenes which are easily visualized. I'll read more of your stories!