All Comments on 'Poker Night'

It might have been interesting if it had been told in a more traditional manner. FPPT should be reserved for "stream of consciousness" fantasizing. I suspect your goal was to draw readers into the story, but I found it both annoying and distracting. We'll have to see what kind of score this one ends up with.

The losing gambler is more often male, the wagered partner female. I am sure you could have made more of the opportunity. That said, I enjoyed it, so thank you.

I found it hard to get into the story because you wrote about Kay as 'you'. It would have been better, in my opinion, if you had written her in third person.