All Comments on 'Powers of the Mind Ch. 02'

For example, "I could bend there personality"? There were other errors, too. If you can't see these errors in your own proofreading, then you need an editor. And such really can help. Good luck.

Great story, but I agree the errors are distracting. I would enjoy the continuation, but please get an editor.

I think there needs to be some public humiliatin. Maybe Rachel has some bitchy friends to mess with!

Keep up the good work.

Enjoyable series so far. As far as story line goes I would look at having Evan prevent Greg from providing the serum to others with his new powers, before moving onto Evans further conquests. I hate proofing too but even someone as lax as me about gramatical accuracy (genes v. jeans) gets distracted by that sort of thing. Keep up the good work.

Not tryin to be "that guy", but midway through it changed from "i" to "he" then back to "I" again. Make sure to proof read next time bro! loved the story tho. Read it a long time ago and spent like an hour today trying to find it! Make sone sequels already!!

Cheers

more please

Its certainly been a while. I've submitted a new story to Lit. Its not on this same series. But I may return to this series.

Really liked the story

I would like to see more on this story, I agree with another reader, he should make Greg not tell anyone about the drug and only give him the recipe for it so he could make it himself and make some big batches of it for him in case the drug wears off, then once he knows how to make it he can make Greg forget he ever came up with the idea and ever spoke to him about it but, to get Greg to tell him about other things he may come up with that could be useful. and maybe make him rich.. he could turn all the stuck-up bitches at school into whores and they give him all the money, and all the pussy he wants, lol, make all the bullies in school gay only. lol. just a thought, you have a lot to work with from so many ways it can go. don't wait so long to post again.

I'd like to see a part 3 or maybe a series why dude gets powers like this and just runs around making single moms and impregnating young married women and have them trick their husband into think it's theirs....or divorce them for cheating. Maybe the women don't like it but have no choice . Make the main character a older guy. I'm tired of seeing stories where mind control dudes don't want to impregnate women and girls because he has morals or don't want to pay for the kids....guys in real life are dead beat dad's....dudes with mind control deffently wouldn't have hang ups over it.lol