All Comments on 'Primed to Kill'

Preposterous and every other word for over the top.

Couldn't forgive the "Wife" nor should He.

She'll do it again, BUT it is a GOOD Story

the first few paragraphs were difficult to get through because of the content but once we knew what was going on everything came together.

not sure I want to know how the author is so familiar with the underlying disorder.

and the ending leaves as many questions as answers.

but it is a very thought provoking story.

thanks

its best to keep and utilize TK U MLJ LV NV

You tackled three of the most difficult things in mental health ,what goes on in peoples mind,the sociopath,the serial killer and up to some point the psychopath

Many writers ,even here on LIT,have tried to write stories or novells on the subjects with changing results,some are not bad , others don't even scratch the surface

You can cure a neurosis with treatment and meds but these people will allways be sociopaths,only with extended psychiatric treatment is there a possibility to control it ,it will never be easy

Malraux you have written a good story on a very difficult subject ,the human psyche is so incredibly complex it would need a library to get close to all its facets

5 stars as usual

A very good story...well written and interesting to the end...She could work for the "Criminal Minds" team...In that team everyone suffers from some disfunction, the only way to understand criminal with psychological disorders...4*

Non erotic and should be posted there to spare us this crap.

Is this the introduction of new characters? I loved your stories from southwest ohio. And your writing in general. ***** thanks. Can't wait for more. Made my morning.

This is very, very good. Most others who try this stuff succeed only in boring me shitless but you have kept it tight and believable. And to read a believable story on this site is a rare experience.

It was a very good story even though I hate when cheaters get away with it . He was a laughing stock in his field . A lot of people knew and talked about it and the other guy braged. It's the humiliation more than the penetration that destroys a persons mind with finding out you have been cheated on.

A real story with real characters.

More, please.

5***** for an excellent read.

Thank you!

This is the first story with specific psychological aspects that makes sense to me. Usually they have psychobabble. These characters reached me. Wordsmithing was quite good. Emotions were well depicted. Nice work.

I would have enjoyed a cathartic scene when the full reality of her past actions and life hit her and her husband helped her through her guilt and remorse, but this was excellent as is.

This story dealt with a plausible psychological reason for infidelity, regardless of whether its a genuine condition or not, it worked in terms of this couple's reconciliation and affirmation of their marriage.

The only thing missing was an epiphany scene.

enjoyed it, thx for the tale!

I liked it!

A tiger's behavior can be modified, but it will always be a tiger. Excellent storytelling technique btw . My only complaint is I wanted to know how the hell the killer and his mom got the drop on the aformentioned tigress on two legs. But that's mostly shameless nitpicking on my part.

Parts of the Malraux's style , especially with initially trusting and vulnerable but ultimately practical and competent detective husband remind me of James Lee Burke and there's a dash of Thomas Harris as well when things got sinister and clinical. All previous compliments in comments are reiterated by me and probably the future kudos as well. Fuck the haters. ..their like the biblical poor - they will always be among us . I thank the author for sharing.

Full marks * * * * *

and certainly different. Did Josh become "I" sometimes? Oh well. Couldn't get the first bit.

These are great characters. Linda is the story.Her emotional situation, her background, her future? Anyway, l loved it. 5*

I didn't know if I would but you have to read them to find out, keep writing.

it became very hurried toward the end and didn't do the plot justice.

However, I will look out for your work in future as you show great promise.

The story obviously resolved nothing. And in the end, the serial killings were just a plot device to maneuver both spouses into a better understanding and appreciation of each other. But their future is still a mystery, and a question begging to be explored. But not too much too soon. It would be a shame to waste such interesting and fucked up characters.

The only plot fault was Josh confessing that he did not warn the perp before redistributing his gray matter. Unless the point was to demonstrate that Josh really is stupid. If the perp was holding a knife instead of a wood dowel, would that make the shooting "more" justified? Bottom line, Josh ended the eventual murder of his wife, and saved the state a shit pot full of money.

As to the resolution of their marriage, Josh will be as crazy as Linda if he ever trusts her again. She's mentally ill, so he has to forgive her. But if he has children with her they should both be charged with child endangerment. Linda's mother abandoning a good husband and a young child sounds similarly emotionless and self indulging as Linda's affair demonstrates, so Linda's illness has genetic possibilities. Love and compassion are fine, but why stay married to a known time bomb? Love and marriage have enough uncertainties without adding mental illness (shudder).

So a very interesting, original, and thought provoking story. Thank you for your time and creativity.

A female character type that I haven't ran into before. It was going along well and then it just ended. Kinda like premature ejaculation. I'm looking forward to more of your submissions and hope you draw us in further in the future.

The story did become First Person once ... Perhaps Mal did protest too much, and this is not as fictional as might be expected.

I do NOT see a series! Sweetie is changing. So is Hubby ... perhaps MORE so! At best, I see the same main characters, with their original personas intact, in parallel stories where Dr Shrink had not started to 'fix' Sweetie ... or Hubby. In the time-line of this thread, the pair will no longer act, nor interact, the same way!

I liked the ambiguity of the bar exit and near evasion. I had predicted that Sweetie would facilitate her own capture by Prime Alley Guy as part of her newfound need for atonement! The author's ambiguity allows me to imagine that that accounts for the narrow escape! PAG had a confederate AND an unforeseen ally!

5*

The Linda character in this story was fascinating.

She was the counterpart to RichardGerald's character David Landon of Jailbreaking . Although that author totally changed the characters personality ( not for the better IMO) in the follow up story On the Lamb.

I find the whole concept of sociopaths to be fascinating. I wonder if its and either/or malady , or if their are different shades or levels or degrees of it ?

The Human Animal ( in both the evolutionary sense or the creationism sense) would never have survived as a species without this peculiar emotion.

Very heady stuff indeed.

I know that I am about to go out on a weak limb here , but I have never understood ones mindset that gets off on being a willing cuckold , or having a " hotwife" who the husband doesn't care who else she has sex with. I wonder if this mindset is a particular type of sociopath , that doesn't have the normal brain chemistry to feel " Love " for their significant other , and only has the ability to feel lust ? Makes as much sense as any other explanation that my own sense of love allows me.

Wonderful character author. She has made me ponder.

I almost stopped reading during the introductory paragraphs, until I realized that the background of the pending story was being laid out for me in horrifying detail.

Then, the rest of the story came along! This was an amazing read. The husband and wife were both sympathetic characters and, after the author finished laying out the character development, I was hoping the story wouldn't have a "BTB" ending.

Malraux is a VERY talented storyteller!

The shrink HAD said there could be instances of, effectively, relapse... And specifically said it did NOT seem to be a sociopathic disorder...

Thing is, if you did make it a series, she'd have to NEVER fuck around again... Even knowing what he does now I don't think he'd stay married to her if she repeated THAT action...

But I would move subsequent stories out of Loving Wives. Stick to crimes and investigations and fill out their personal lives with visits to her doctor and maybe some occasional emotional episodes where she experiences new feelings that she's kept suppressed all her life. And there are probably some good stories to be told of the other stuff about her mother that was hinted at. Avoid repeat episodes of cheating. Because another cheating episode would definitely end the marriage once and for all.

Such disrespect and contempt she had for her husband.

The rationalizations were just bullshit compared to her attitude and behaviour.

How he is staying with the cheating cunt is beyond me.

Facebook profile of dearbornmt@yahoo.com

True life serial cheating wife.

Lost her college instructor job in Helena Montana because of factual details on Facebook.

Coerced student into sex after he had rejected six months of sexual harassment. At time she was involved in at least two other affairs.

Husband knows does nothing but cry and sniff her cum-filled panties

SAD BUT OH SO TRUE

Since I am a believer in mental problems I found the hunt interesting and had no revulsion at the wife's behaviour. Keep up the series.

An intriguing, believable plot with well described characters, the geographic setting is clear, the dialogue is to the point, the story is well paced, the crimes are possible, the detective work is interesting, and the twist at the end is superior. A well written story that is the epitome of good writing.

There are some very deep elements here that were not all present in the story, such as; they were married for many years - it was just cohabitation w/sex, BUT she only became self-destructive after the miscarriage (not brought out in the story). They have a long road to hoe and can he keep it together, how deep is his love and acceptance that she has a disorder? I can see a sequel here if M wants to get back into it.

Great characters! Great story. Make this couple into a series. A couple that solves mysteries as they solve their relationship.

. . . quite a change from the normal garbage (with some exceptions) on this LW site. Very interesting. Thanks. 5* for something unusual and well thought-out.

Different. Started off not liking it - not my thing. But something - the Captains cold statement, Josh's demand, something in between...don' know. But it worked...pretty damn well to. If you've got another - go for it.

Quianna? Whats wrong with Moesha? Bag this and put it out with the trash.

Well-written, original, and totally absorbing. I look forward to many more--and I'd love to read more about this couple, although I'd truly hate for her to cheat again and fuck up their marriage beyond repair.

Thanks, ohio

You began this tale so darkly that many readers, like me, were hesitant to continue past the first 2 or 3 paragraphs -- but I'm quite happy that I did! (I quit watching Criminal Minds years ago, shortly after Mandy Patinkin left the show.)

You've drawn a couple of very interesting characters here; both flawed in their own ways, but also with redeeming qualities that give hope that they will eventually find their way to a loving life together.

Although it's not the cathartic scene that some commenters would like, the tension and relief in the shooting scene was palpable, and Josh's cold-blooded killing of the perp certainly shocked Linda into at least a small epiphany -- that her husband was not a man to be trifled with. Here's hoping that their future brings them closer together.

Thanks for another outstanding story. As I've said before, I'm very happy that you continue to add to your body of work here.

they do keep the constables very busy, TK U MLJ LV NV

A new angle in the way the setting its presented and the mix of elements of the genres here depicted make this one stand up above the usual contributions. With glances of the relantioship between both before the actual story make this a very compelling riddle, you should continue a make this one a series or miniseries maybe 2 more stories.

Linda have issues in her head thats obvious for any, but i believe that Josh theory could be more accurate, she certainly share some characteristics with a sociopath, and perhaps is fooling (maybe unconsciously even) the doctor, perhaps she do loves him, but its a feeling/emotion so alien for her that she just squash it without a second thought. And Josh well, its a hard man, but his life its centered around Linda and her job, needs both to be happy and complete.

Like to see more about those two, maybe im wrong maybe they can pull out and become a happy marriage, even if they dont have a common one.

That may have LW most believable Martian Slut Ray ever. How much will you cucks pay for it? $500? $400?

Can you believe Mal is giving it away for free?

Would love to see this duo emerge as a seriously flawed version of MacMillan and Wife.

Really enjoyed everything about it. Thanks for the read.

Beautiful!

Can we expect more from this team? I think you have a winner here.

Seems a perfect blend of marriage troubles held together by crime fighting.

I like the Josh character's pragmatic decisiveness as a cop and flaws as a husband.

I also like Linda's character as a sort of wild card; depending on her state of mind at any given time - a sense of uncertainty as to where she's coming from in any given situation.

Please. More from these characters.

Did I fail to mention that I liked the writing style? :o)

Good and interesting story.

One of many stories that has more sympathy

for the person that did wrong than the victim.

Mental illness deserves sympathy, I get that.

But here we have a selfish cheater against a good man.

Easy math.

I liked the unfinished ending.

Top ratings from me.

When he said he didn't know how to get her to see a psychologist, I was going to suggest what he thought, do it or get divorced!

I remember reading this, surprised I never commented. Would be interested in the factors prior to her mother leaving.

Loved the story and felt sad at the finish. Want to know more of her problem and how they fair as a couple afterwards.

Thanks

Quite different treatment of a common theme, cheating. The circumstances, motivation and reactions are all somewhat new. Very interesting. 5*s.

Very well written and developed. It’s an extremely unusual set of conditions- his detective work is more of a side show, only creating the scenario allowing them a common temporary focus to work from. Having divorce papers prepared was a foregone conclusion, but where do they go next? Clearly he’s compassionate and sees her effort, but is it enough? Is he ever convinced of her loyalty?

I like your writing and this story definitely deserves more. This is similar in intrigue to Todd172's Shack series (which I cannot stop reading, even after I've read them all multiple times). PLEASE consider a continuation.

Hope you have a follow up to this story in you. Would like to know the things unspoken but hinted at during the visit with the psychiatrist such as events in her past prior to her mother leaving. Would also like to see these two make the relationship work but wonder how that might be possible. Maybe explain more of the characters and their struggles while they work the case in Branson. Also, what ever becomes of the promotion Josh has been waiting five years for?

That was a great read.

I somehow missed this.

Very different, not in plot rather how the characters interact and the underlying cause.

Not bad, Not bad at all.

5*

This is just incredibly good. I’ve not read anything like it on this site.

not 1 of Malraux better ones . not even close to being believable.

"I am so, so sorry. Very." She knew those were the things to say, yes she did. She watched Hallmark Channel some.

"I'll bet you are," Josh said, looking right at her, feeling the pain, knowing she did not feel any."

And still, in the end of the story they reconciled. Reason? She had a "PERSONALITY DISORDER"! She hurt her husband, but she didn't mean to! How cute! And the husband also can't leave the cheating tramp because she's "the most beautiful woman around"! How romantic! 1 star.

at how often in LW stories the voters give one star votes because they don’t like the female character. The writing and plot can be superb but the score is still just a one. Although the changes in point of view were jarring, this story was no where near a one star. Malraux should be happy with the score, given the category. In any other category a story of this quality would be a 4.6 or 4.7.

Abuse,?

Different but good

Great story, just what I would expect from Malraux. Great story in spite of her cheating, just wish he could have arranged something fitting for the Ass DA.

Who here uses whom? Does he RAAC (reconcile at any cost) or does he see her, sexier and smarter than Miss Marple, as a continuing hot fuck, and a tool for solving cases and thus boosting his career? Is she a toxic snake, but useful?

Interesting concept, well use of the crime and the wive.

The story keeps saying physically attractive she is, beautiful. She's actually very ugly, and always has been since Josh met her. So he married a mentally dysfunctional woman, and wants some kind of reassurance as to her future mental health, her loyalty and virtue as a wife? She's right, he is pretty stupid. Or maybe fataly optimistic? Whatever, the future of their marriage is a complete crap shoot, a high risk gamble if children are involved. I'd bet she'll do a runner when their kid is the same age as she was when her mother abandoned them. Probably some genetic link to the mental illness that the psychiatrist is underplaying, or under appreciating. Doctors fuck up too, you know. And people in the psychiatric medical field are often some of the most fucked up people in the medical world. True, ask any medical professional.

So he got what he married; his bad. She was somehow overpowered in the parking lot by a 60-year old woman? And there was no one stationed outside as backup? And they had her stripped and tied up in less than 2 or 3 minutes, with her struggling and screaming, and they had no reason to think there was a rush?

You've written some good stories, and I hope you learned enough to go commercial. I see you're not contributing here any longer. Don't blame you, if you have marketable talent. The regulars are like McDonald's cooks. They get together and compliment each others dishes, somehow forgetting that they all prepare the exact same thing, following the same recipe, and its mostly mediocre glop. But you know that.

Thanks for the effort.

I hink he will be in pain the rest of his life. But as he said any man the completely trusts a woman is a fool. If it was my wife(yes she cheated on me, and I threw her and her things out the very same night.)

Well done. Loved the deduction that lead to the psycho. Hope you will continue with these characters.

Neatley tied together and a very good read.

Well written, as is the norm for this great storyteller. However, not one of Malraux’s best efforts. Still, a solid four star ⭐️ story.

Very interesting premise and well done.

This authors trademark: "Great story...crappy, incomplete ending."

Weird and dark and creative. But not much of an ending.

Could be the story of my first marriage, except for the happy ending.

Okay, once again a very derivative story, just like hundreds of others on this site…NOT! Probably only this author could make an almost-sociopath lovable. I’ve never lamented one of Malraux’s endings, but I’ve always wanted to know more and more about the characters. I will decry the author’s productivity. Retire, cut off your family, sit in a little room and write story after story for us. Sound like a plan?

Be interesting to know, though only for shits and giggles, whether the mother broke her son or if the son broke his mother...

Why do people think you can be happy with someone who ripped someone’s heart out without a thought and threw it in the dirt?

I’ve started skipping to the end of these type of stories to see how they end. That way I don’t get invested, then find out the guy is just a cuckold (sp) made to look dressed up.

LM

Would love to see more of this pair.

The Thin Man?

A dramatic short story utterly complete in itself. Thankyou.

A well-written, intriguing tale, thanks for an enjoyable read.

Unique

Best story this author has published.

.

No real wandering, everything covered, the good guys work hard and carry the day.

Very, very good. This really should be a continuing series. Not her philandering, obviously, but them solving cases together.

Quite nail-biting and had me wondering if she was going to get killed or maimed by the guy as part of Karma for her betrayals.

Well done.

Enjoyed it. Would have given it a 5 but deducted the 1 because of the ending. The ending would have been OK if you planned to write a sequel. Too many thing left hanging.

⭐⭐⭐

Outstanding, unique and intriguing. Could have had more sex, wasn't very erotic. Would like to read more about this couple

Great story but a non ending. Unique relationship and characters, good plot, but an open ending that the author just gave up on. 4 stats. Too bad. An easy five until the last page.