All Comments on 'Princess'

Don't usually read sibling sex. Glad I did tonight. This is a nice little story. Hope to read more of it or something else like it soon.

After reading this story, I checked out the author's profile page and I was shocked to discover that this is his first submission.

The story has a pace and style about it that one expects from far more experiencd writers. If Saxon continues to produce work of this quality, I envisage his name being added many 'Favourite Author' lists.

5/5

Very nice to read a story with a decent plot. Don't stop now, you're off to a great start!

A very nice effort! Lots of loose ends in the story line -- especially the mysterious family issues. Please continue.

A couple things about this little tale seem to be ruffling

my fur the wrong way, I'll just point out the important one.

1. A person you despise that has treated you as garbage all your life crawls into your bed and gives you a BJ. Your brain is screaming that your being setup and suddenly all is forgiven and you love them like your life long soul mates?

Umm. I had to pause at this point and think WTF reality check anyone?

Otherwise, I'm enjoying this and patiently waiting on part two.

And you really need to continue with this.

However, you need work with the continuity here. The family issues need to be a little clearer. But it's also incredibly confusing when Steve just accepts all this attention from Maddie and the others without any explanation. They are all behaving contrary to your earlier descriptions of them.

These things need to be made much clearer. Who forgave who? And why? The reader needs to know these things so that the story can continue smoothly.

Despite a few rough edges and glitches, this story has a lot of potential. you defintely need to cover many unanswered things that you alluded to in the story, but if your additional chapters are as good as this, a few mistakes can be overlooked.

DAMN yet another author who wreckes a story by having anal sex in it. Most normal and the greatest majority of people don't have anal sex or do so rarely.

I like the overall story but have to agree with some of the other posters. The story seems truncated and incomplete. You hinted at some deeper dynamics in the family, with the secret discussion of the parents and grandparents. You didn't explain any of it. From my perspective, the brother's reaction to the sister's latest attention should have caused him some major alarms.

You also need to edit this a little more closely for grammar and spelling.

Overall I give it good marks, but you need to develop this story a great deal more.

I'm curious to find out why she went from hating to loving her brother so quickly. What was the catalyst for this change? Great story....you've got me hooked.

good read but you got a lot of story to add...what happened to make everything change?

Great story - arousing and is a great start to build many other chapters !!

I think Maddie, Shelby and Heather all want him but why all of a sudden ?? I am curious to know.

Next, maybe Stevie can get all the girls to agree to share but build a sexual focus for each girl. Like Maddie likes to be screwed, Shelby or Heather may ficus on oral sex and the other maybe if she has big boobs; to be cummed on ??

You can really develop a lot here but please keep writing and expand the story. Thank you.

In my opinion, your story has great potential for a grand finish. Not a series but a nice ending. You should fill the gaps we are waiting for.

Why did she have a change of heart about him? What does he deserve to know? What has happened since last summer. Why is he being treated so unfairly by his fam? How does this story end?

Too many unanswered questions but not too many to answer in a well developed sequel. Use an editor. I agree with the other commentors but I think you can make it right. Lose the anal. As one commentor stated anal really is a rare act. Too many writers mess up the story thinking they have to in include it. I await the end of this story.

she seems like someone i wish i had for a sister mine was spoilt also she commited suicide at 27 yrs old. I was just went to see her grave and left roses for her

Great start and lots of potential. Looking forward to further chapters of this story. Please keep the title to make it easier to find.

Good reading all the way.!*

Everybody likes him now because his Sister told everybody he had a big "Dick" and knew how to please a woman ...... why else would they want him all of a sudden.??

Good story though. Thanks. JAG

you have me hooked waiting for more. what's up with their parents dislike of him? keep it going..............

I can't wait till this story is continued. that is what the good vibs are for

I'm with some of the others about why did sis do a 360 . The boy has been treated like shit for to long to have that kind of turn around that quick to sis even with the sex. I know longing for love does funny things to people and makes them do strange things , but i just don't understand how he forgave so quick. I guess we'll have to wait to see in chapter 2. thanks for a good story.

This was a very good story. However, there are still a number of questions that need to be answered. What were the three ladies arguing about? What caused his sister to start treating him differently? What caused the parents to cut him off emotionally when he was three? And many more. Please don't leave us hanging. Please finish this.

So far it makes no sense.

First I want to say thanks for all of the positive comments and feedback. The second portion of this tale was 75% complete when the first part was submitted. It was originally meant to be a quick bridge from part one to part three told from Maddie's view.

Eleven hour work days have limited my writing time, plus my need to tinker has it still 75% done, but that 75% is three times more than originally intended. I am hoping to have it done within two weeks.

Thanks again for your patience and support! SH

sounds like he is either getting an inheritance and sis wants some of it or he is really adopted either way something screwy and underhanded is going on

i hope you tell us what the sisters fight with the parents was about

fucking rubbish

One of the better first person stories I've read on here. Looks like I'm going to be up all night reading the rest of your works. Awesome job!!!

Pretty clear we will learn he is not Dad's son or whatever 0 and that evryone else knows the truth but him -

So let's see where it goes -

Will anxiously await an explanation as to why Maddie was so mean to Mike all those

years and now, suddenly, seems to like him so much. Is there a catch to her being nice?

Moved too abruptly from open distain to loving interraction. You need more of a transition. Also a little bit of confusion with some of the peripheral characters such as Dianne. Why did his parents show such animosity toward him?

Can't figure the transition from ignoring to adoring and why the parents animosity? 3* or 4* - hard to say.

It's really getting harder and harder to find a really enjoyable story on here (incest section) that has an enjoyable plot, this was a nice find :). ...on a side note, I was thinking... You see it in text but I've never ever heard a single human being use the word 'jizm' (or is it jism?) in my entire life. It was fun seeing a few other things here and there, Ill have to scroll back and look but there was some phrase close to the beginning that almost made me laugh! ...and hearing him call her 'doll', my brain thinks 50's :)

Looking forward to the cliffhangers! Who are his real parents? Does he have some huge inheritance coming? (And if so you would think the fake 'rents would treat him better) Is Shelby (i have engines on the brain now, think her dad slipped that one in without her mom realizing it was car related? Hehe) interested in him because sis told her he has a big wang? These and many other mysteries to be revealed, as the world... ;)

Non-shallant? Rememberal? How the fuck did you get this past your editor?

I am kind of on the fence about this chapter, didn't hate it but didn't like it much either. Will have to read further to see how you play it. Apart from the complete 360 change in their behavior, the one thing that irked me the most was the dialogue between the two them. Reading it I kinda felt like you got confused between your male and female characters, like who was supposed to play which role. After all I don't think any guy would want to be called 'doll' or 'you're so cute babe'.

Meant to write 'rememberable' in that first line.

It was awesome. I loved it. Not gonna leave negative stuff like other assholes. Yes the transition from ignoring to completely adoring was fast but none of it was bad. I felt like this story should've been longer. It should've explained more. But it was a great story

The writer of the story for the most part is rather good at detailing issues, relationships, timelines, etc. However, the aspect of Steve being the so-called "red-headed stepchild" of the family, even to the point of recognizing every member of his numerous family he refers to every time by the given (first) names, is very strange and suspect. For example, his three-year older sister--the apple of every family member's eye as she IS the "can do no wrong" Queen-- has never for the past fifteen years, since Steve was three years old, had anything to do with, nor anything good to say about, her younger brother. Likewise there is the same treatment from other family and relatives, except for the sister (and husband) of the father of Steve and Madeline. And now suddenly--immediately--Steve's sister Madeline (Princess) wants him in the sack (hopefully she lied about being on the pill), her high-fashion girlfriends likewise find Steve very attractive, and he falls for the guise, hook, line and sinker!! Suspense? Real and true retribution and asking forgiveness? Is there honor among snakes? I doubt the sincerity of all those enemies and foes. Hopefully, I'm wrong--although what male of hormonal purity could not want to fuck Steve's sister Madeline, or even her girlfriend Shelby??

Keep going

Though one should never underestimate how hormonal a teenage boy can be, it's still jarring how he went from detesting his sister to fucking her, and apparently loving her, the progression is just way too quick not to mention it strains credulity that she went from bitch to lovesick big sister at the drop of a hat.

for that kind of change to be believable it needs to be spread out a bit over time and a few chapters, with a lot of intermediate steps.

The author is rushing things to the story's detriment.

"...trying to look non-shallant..." has to be one of the more entertaining "ooopses!" at lit i've encountered, but how does one look "shallant" ?

NEEDS SOME IMPROVEMENT!

had to comment on page 1 line you gave The Princesses boyfriend about checking the parking lot of the truck stop !!!! SO good, wish I could think that quick.