All Comments on 'Prismatic High Pt. 03'

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Love the story. Hate Sasha, Darryl is a dragon he should be able to act like one instead of a bitch for his human girlfriend.

It's well written, the characters are pretty unique, and the whole stereotype thing has a very solid anime feel to it, as well as there being a lot of laughs...

But it somehow doesn't click together, and feels off-center.

I don't like half the characters, the backstory isn't properly developed, the pacing feels all wrong, the rythm isn't paced properly...

I dunno, it's just getting harder to swallow with every new chapter.

Sorry for being so negative, but it's what I feel

Sasha is ruining this story for me. She keeps insisting that she his girlfriend, but she was assigned to him. She treats him like shit. She's trying to control his life. Fucking guy went from an abusive asshole dad to a fucking abusive "girlfriend". Next time they go flying he should dump her from 30,000 feet. I really want to like this story but I can't so far.

No need to apologize for being negative when that is how you feel about it and I am sorry it's not personally clicking with you. This piece is aimed at being more silly fun than my usual writing and that's not for everyone, just as the different kinks or characters aren't for everyone. If you are looking for some fun smut in a more serious and thoroughly constructed world then give my other works (or my amazon novellas) a shot, that tends to be more the style used there. And if you don't like a specific main character, try some of my other works (they won't be there ...probably :) )

Thank you for reading and for the comment, I hope you enjoy some of my other writing.

Either she has to put out, or she has to go. She's not a fun character, and in a story like this, if she's not getting the dick, she might as well get the boot.

Sasha is being a hypocrite. She says she's his girlfriend and doesn't want him to have sex with anyone else, but she wouldn't put out herself. It's not as if she's truly that devoted Christian that she had acted to be, she's a trained agent who deceived him and put an implant on him! I get that she had a mission, but if now she thinks herself as his girlfriend and knows the risk that any other Dragon may ask her to have sex and she'll have to put out and she's still here carrying on her spying, she should better do it with Darryl. And she should also understand how the sexual instinct is different for dragons from humans and the reason Darryl had sex with Xia.

This storyline, unlike for other people apparently, does click for me and I do enjoy its somewhat silliness. The issue isn’t the writing or timing, it’s the glaring Sasha issue. Not necessarily Sasha per se but how you are writing Daryl’s interactions with her. Daryl grew up and was taught to be a fighter. Not just any fighter but a dragonslayer no less. His father would punch him in the stomach as hard as he could at random just to toughen him up and yet when he is in the presence of Sasha he, basically, turns into a gigantic pussy. He stammers and fears her. He was raised to hunt and kill huge magical reptiles that breath fire (or what have you) and to live so he could hunt and kill more. How is someone like THAT intimidated by, well, ANYONE?! We aren’t talking about learning a little jiujitsu and some MMA sparring here. Hunt and kill. I don’t mind the comedic teenage awkwardness, I find it amusing as intended but you built Daryl up as a highly trained badass and then gave him the spine of a jellyfish? It doesn’t connect. THAT is why, I think, people are having such trouble with Sasha. She’s the focal point of, what is essentially, Daryl’s emasculation. She has him on a leash. A leash, mind you, premised upon a massive lie. Why is Sasha not fucking Daryl? In the beginning it was because she was a good Catholic girl and wanted to save herself for marriage but we now know that’s a lie. She won’t let Daryl fuck other females because she’s his girlfriend but she isn’t his girlfriend by choice she was ordered to be his girlfriend so THAT’S a lie. When is Daryl going to ask the salient question of “how in the fuck did you get a tracking device implanted internally to a magical creature, that heals any wound virtually instantaneously, without his noticing? They never slept together. They never did anything of any significance together because they had to hide their relationship. So how did that happen? Another lie. She is the very definition of a gold digger that is flatly using Daryl and how in the hell is he so, he can’t even claim to be pussywhipped, he hasn’t had that pussy! Sasha is a massive sore point because Daryl is supposedly badass and yet in every single interaction with Sasha he becomes a sniveling coward. It’s novel for a bit but if he is going to continue to be used and abused by her at some point most people will stop crying about Daryl because how can you root for or invest in a wimp? Just my take

yeah the premise of the story is really fun, but the further i read the harder it becomes to suspend my disbelieve.

- hardcore christian girlfriend turns into 18 year old NSA superspy using dildos to quell her lust?

- why would the other dragons kill darryl if he tells them about sasha being NSA?

it seems like you introduced the sasha character to introduce some drama into the story, which is fine, but in a highschool setting there should be more believable sources for drama than NSA superspy.

the other stuff is fine and i'd like to read more about it; even then male rival turning into female wasn't too weird.

She wont put out but will not let Darryl have sex with anyone either. But why would NSA recruit a frigid bitch as girlfriend for a sexed up dragon?! Wierd.

Seriously, you have an incredible premise here. It's got all the potential to be a truly great story, but Sasha is being mismanaged. Why is he so enthralled with her -after- he finds out their entire relationship is a lie? She's not his girlfriend, she's a spy that was assigned to him. Sasha claims he cheated on her but... they're not in a relationship. Kissed twice, held hands... and then he paid for her to do stuff she probably would have done without him (eat, watch movies, whatever repressed young Christian couples do). His response should have been "You've lied to me from day one, I'll fuck who I like, stranger."

Dragonbolt your story is good fun and I can see the silliness. Like another commenter it’s not really clicking for me. I’m sorry for sounding negative. The story seems a bit too fast paced and jumps rather quickly. I was like Daryl once and even I know that there’s got be a back-bone in him somewhere for handling Sasha. I’m sorry I again if I sound negative, just giving my honest opinion.

Sasha is a completely useless character. You've completely dismantled whole chunks of your main character's development just to figure out a way to work her in when nothing about her makes sense to begin with.

This is getting sillier... and I'm enjoying it very much. Must read more!

She may be an NSA plant, but she is head over heals for Darryl, and reminds him of when he lived as a human. She is a good counterfoil to the dragon characters.

She's lied to him from the moment they met. Only got with him to spy on him and dragons. And lied about being a devout christian so he wouldn't touch her. Then acts hurt and treats him like shit when he's overwhelmed by his dragon instincts after having his would turned upside down. I don't think she cares about him much at all.

Give it a rest, Heard it all on Ch 1. don't Care so Piss off.

I think I like the story, you don't? Go read something else or just go away.

Sasha's inconsistent behavior is entirely realistic. She's not supposed to be in love with a dragon, both because her job forbids it and because she's been trained to resist their appeal, but the inconvenient truth is that she is in love with a dragon. She's fully internalized the human moral standards which require monogamy, but now she's starting to have desires which contradict that morality. In short, Sasha is torn between the desires of her heart and body and the dictates of her mind. Given those internal conflicts, her behavior thus far is completely reasonable.