All Comments on 'Prismatic High Pt. 04'

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In the first chapter his Mom says that "Brashivalampathorus" was Darryl's father, or did I misunderstand that?

It is slightly unclear, because this is a first draft, but she was banged by a dragon named Brash...but she revealed she was doing that at age 18, and she's in her 40s now, and has been banging dragons the whole time...so...

I was going to expound on that in this chapter, but I couldn't figure out how to do so without having the neat "DUN DUN DUNNN" ending.

So...it will be talked about in the next chapter too. But also here.

PLEASE WRITE MORE OF THIS STORY PLEASE I LOVE IT SO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was going t9 be seriously pissed if after all the shit Sasha pulled against Darryl she wasn't faithful. Looks like your little cross is a good way to prevent that kind of angst in the future! Nice work

Now I'm confused, who's his father?

A lot of people complain about Sasha, but I think the biggest offender is Darryl, I don't know if it's your pacing, or character development in this story but he seems.. shallow. Doesn't acknowledge his girlfriend lied to him, or how they bugged the teachers computer, or how geo and her met. I love your style of writing, mixing plot and current cultural jokes. But I think if you ever get the time to rewrite or rework on parts of this story, taking a couple extra minutes to flesh out your characters goes a looooong way.

There's the typical writing errors that people without editors make, but I don't find them too daunting or terrible, if you can't afford to get an editor to help see if a fan that reads a lot of your work would be interested?

I enjoy your stories, I really do and I don't want this comment to come off as too rude, just want to see you improve!

Thanks for doing what you do!

Honestly, Prismatic High will always be one of my least favorite things I've written. I'm actually editing it right now for a 2nd draft that I'm gonna release on Amazon!

To say there have been MAJOR changes would be an understatement >.>

"And Darryl just enjoyed being in a pile of gold with two beautiful women pressed against him." I think I speak for the rest of your readers when I say that we also enjoy that feeling.