Private Lessons

Again, she spoke with the double meaning. This time, he did not puzzle over it, but absorbed the ambiguity.

"I am already looking forward to when you come back to me."

A disappointing dismissal; he had thought to sleep with her in her forbidden bedroom.

She assuaged him. "Richard, I have had many lovers. You are among the best."

The limitation of the compliment did not deflate him. In their evening together she had heightened his understanding. He would return to her, learn more from her. He had not yet earned permission into her sanctum. He accepted her judgment. He craved her approval. Ultimately he would feast on it.

****************

Thus, Richard and Sylvia became lovers. Their universe was her home in the woods. They never dated nor emerged in public. After three more of their private dinners Sylvia yielded the final room of her home to him.

Sylvia never forbade him, nor asked him, to keep her secrets. Richard did so because of his respect for her. He would not betray this mystery woman who defied age and convention to implant her knowledge in him. Neither his fraternity brothers, nor the workers at the library ever had a trace of an idea of his story. Sylvia knew this and was grateful for it. She had always had confidence in the character of her young student.

They were not jealous lovers. She told him once that there might be others, but he never saw any trace of another's presence in her abode. He believed that she had taken none, but guarded her freedom to do so. Richard, for his part, found another. She was a coed named Christina. Sylvia encouraged him. She would listen to him recount his times with her. She would advise him as her student became Christina's teacher. Richard enjoyed having the two lovers, shortchanging neither of them. One night in the future, the three of them would dine together at Sylvia's house. That is an untold story.

They would entwine for the entire year of school. He left for the summer; he missed her. Christina's charms distracted him well enough. He returned to the University for his final year. He sought her out immediately. She was pleased to see him, but put him off when he hinted for permission to come to her. At first, she politely delayed him. Finally, she explained that she had already selected another young man that she could nurture and grow, as she had done for Richard the year before. She possessed no more knowledge to impart to him. She smiled and said that perhaps they might have a last reunion sometime before he graduated. They never did, although they both hoped for it. Richard, as always, accepted the teacher's judgment. At any rate, Christina was demanding more of him.

As the months went by, Sylvia and Richard saw little of each other. His work-study job had been transferred to a different library on the campus. He had no reason to enter Sylvia's library except to see her. She always smiled a welcome at him, but he sensed her discomfort at being sought out too often.

During the week between final exams and graduation he went to the library to say good-bye to her. She knew why he had come. She knew that he would. There were no patrons present at this late phase of the term. In a remote corner of the Reference Room they stood silently. Her fingertips rested in his palms, the thumbs closed over, as she had done that first night.

"I'll miss you," he blurted out. She stopped him. She explained in her ever-present wisdom that he must not taint the sweetness of their union with sadness.

"All of my lovers are still in my heart," she said, "as you will always be, Richard. You deserve every good thing that comes to you."

With that she dropped her hands from his. He knew that it was time to depart.

Good-bye, Sylvia; all the best to you." He turned and walked away slowly, his emotions raging against each other inside him.

He heard Sylvia's voice call out to him. He turned to face her.

"Richard, you were not among my best lovers". She had trained him to wait for the completion.

She uttered her last words to him as clearly as her tiny voice would allow.

"You were my best lover."

She about-faced and walked slowly back to tend to the dusty books. He could not see that her eyes glistened with tears. His heart lightened, he turned and walked on.

They parted.

THE END

*

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