All Comments on 'Probing Ginger'

well it just goes to show you, that money will buy you anything including your 2 friends into preforming lesbian acts on each other, the thing is how much will she pay to use the strap-on on her friends

An imaginative new take on seduction. Well done.

I'm a lesbian. This made me cringe. Not the story irself, it was the writing & phrasing that made it a difficult read. I'd have edited down the first few paragraphsparagraphs at least. Too much time wanted on describing furniture. Why? For later maybe but it bored me, so just skimmed and skipped ahead. Dialog was too stiff - people don'tdon't talk that way so it detracted from the believably of the story. There was no differentiation between how each character talkedtalked. Dialogue is an exchange between different people. They don't all sound the same.

You are primarily a visual writer, but you need to write for the reader, not yourself. I can't see what you imagine in your mind so it needs to be written so I can see what you see. It's not solved by detailed description of appearance. Creating a character and making each one unique is a difficult skill. Read, read, readread, and improve as you learn from your studies.

There's more I could say, but that'd take pages & hours that I don't have and you probably don't care anyway. So I'll stop.

Gave you 4 stars. I'd like to see you grow in how you construct a story. I've read some of your other stuff. Keep working at it. You'll get better as you grow. Read the stories that are highest rated, study their structure and composition and practice. Set your goal to become as good as Colleen Thomas. Study her stuff.

Thanks for your efforts to construct a story that doesn't sexuality & dshumanize women. That's very much appreciated.

And a good storyline, all the way until the end. Then it seemed rushed, when you could have left it for chapter two...

Thank you,

L

Would love to see this filmed. Most porn sucks and there's nothing like this scenario that I know of. Thank you for writing something so intimate. Please keep submitting your secret desires!

An odd way to start a story, poor phrasing throughout.

Not my cup of tea sorry!