by elno2015
I'm so glad you're continuing this story! I love your writing and this story. But I seriously hope Barry comes to his senses, leaves Casey and goes for Josh so he can get his happily ever after.
So glad you are back. Story is delicious! Sorry to hear of your brother's major health issue but am glad all seems to be working out. Congrats on the move and new job!
Happy to see you're back writing again! And omg I'm shook Josh and Barry have to become a thing
Welcome back @elno2015! I let out a happy squeal when I saw a new update of yours! So good to see you back and continuing w/this story! It's very good to hear your brother's health is doing a lot better, that's wonderful. Hope he and his husband have a happy and long, fulfilling life together. I knew Casey was a guy before he actually came into the picture because it never specified he or she! Poor Josh, he just keeps getting f***ed over. Neither Andrew or Barry are in the best of places for a relationship it seems like, but I'm all for team Barry! He seems a lot sweeter and caring person for Josh, if he can just get past the whole thing with his actual boyfriend. I'm so over Andrew and his back and forth attitude and using Josh. Anyways, enough of my opinions, please keep at the story, looking forward to ch. 5! All the best to you and your family, as well as your brother's!
Same thing over and over and over and over...Nothing changes, which is really boring and annoying. He's constantly lying by saying everything's fine and not telling his friends what's going on. He needs to make difference decisions and stop whining and feeling sorry for himself. If he can't figure out why, then he needs professional help. How long is he going to keep doing this crap? The story has become so repetitive.
You may write up to chapter 20-30 if this is how the story will be. Yes you wrote extra pages but the summary n flow is the same. Write less chapters n precise than may with only repetition. You started great just seems like you are losing the flow.
Please don't let Andrew's date 'Surprise' be another thing to hurt or embarrass Josh. He has been hurt enough and this is making me cry :(. Actually... since he is your creation, YOU are hurting him! Why are you hurting Josh? Be kinder to your characters
Great story and loving it to bits, glad to read also the your family life is doing well and is your brother and brother-in law too, good on them.
The journey Josh is on is thought at times, but it gets me hoping that he'll find a way, love does eventually it may have a few false starts, but as an old family member told me once, when I was I a thought spot, for every lock there is a key (might be the odd exception to that) it helped, and I know Josh .... and hopefully Barry will sort it, thanks can't wait for the next...
For the critics and their mean comments... be nice, it's more fun.
But lets get him NEITHER of those guys! Let him meet someone new and nice that is friends with Jason and Matt!
And don't listen to Anon-unfortunately this is real life and you have written this very aptly, even if we don't like it.
I'm so sorry to read about the drama and pain your family has endured, but I'm heartened to know that your brother has recovered. What an ordeal! I know it's selfish, but it's great to have you back. This story is compelling and addictive. When I discovered that you were writing again, I re-read Woodbridge and then the first few chapters of Josh's story to get back into the flow. Excellent job. Please pay no attention to the odd, negative comments from behind the "anonymous" curtains. Seriously. Writing is hard and you do it well. You've brought these characters so much to life that I have become emotionally invested in their lives. Thanks for sharing your gift.
First, I'm so glad you and your family are doing better, and you and your fiancé sound like amazing people. I'm so glad your brother is in recovery, and that he has such wonderful support around him.
2.) Be nicer to your characters? It's watching (reading) Josh train wreck again and again that has me hooked, rooting for him. It does really hurt a piece of my heart each time he does it. Which means a huge kudos for you for writing such amazingly real characters.
3. And now for something completely different...
3.1:As a D-1 rower in college, who sat stroke seat, you'd have to pry that oar from my cold dead hands rather than move me to another seat. Or have me tear my intercostal, & some back & abdominal muscles. And that just meant we taped me up so I wouldn't accidentally breathe on that side until the awesome 2000m sprint that is a race. (1.24 miles)
3.2: Every year there is a regatta in San Diego. All the D-1 California teams go, and Yale and Duke came the years I competed. My apologies to not remembering which of the Ivies it was, but their awesome shirts read: "Rowing... the only sport you can win stitting on your ass backwards."
3.3: You will never have anyone with more stamina, in & out of bed, than a rower: Yeah, Rowers do it better. ;)
I think I've got to give up on this one at this point. Silly plot. To call these characters shallow and insufficiently motivated would be generous. But what really kills it is the lack of attention to detail. Not just small stuff like eye color discrepancies (this time Barry, who is given "honey" eyes one scene and green later), but major plot points: In this chapter Lindsay complains about Andrew in a conversation with Jay, who doesn't know about Andrew—he'd ask about that I'm sure!; later, with the silly Casey thing the main character names Casey before his identity is revealed. The plot's super thin, there are only like three things to keep track of ... Not worth continuing when I can't trust the author to get such simple basics in order
The above statement by Josh on Chapter 4, Page 6 is the only thing right about the whole saga !
Good Story
I think you have written a good story with very hot sex! Yes, Josh is being tossed around and is uncertain. But he is 18!! And Andrew and Barry are just a few years older. Break-ups, drama, loyalty, etc are all a part of growing up. I look forward to reading the rest. As I've said many times, you are a great writer. Yes there are some typos, but really critics, she is doing this for free! Relax and enjoy!