All Comments on 'Prototype Ch. 11'

It's a great story please please keep it going.

Can't wait for the next one! Thank you for continuing the story!

She is up to something, he hqs to reprogram her.

Better reign in Rachel now before she finds a loophole. Cause she is up to something. And his whole plan could come crashing down around him.

There is a reason kings of old didnt fuck every wife or concubine...it gets fucking boring.

There was no love involved, just bodily functions much like taking a shit. Something you do.

It might sound exciting but its not. If i could control people and make them into whatever i wanted, i wouldnt have an endless harem, most men wouldn't because theres no challenge, no fun...its like fucking a toy, a doll. Yes they could say all the right things but it’s missing the crucial part of choice: they disnt choose him, he turned them into puppets.

As for Priya still loving her husband: bullshit. If i love another woman more than my wife and would do anything for her, how the fuck am I going to be able to love my wife? Its impossible to love more than one man that deeply and if her husband has even the slightest affection for her, he will soon realize shes not his anymore and a jealous husband with a gun is the end of those plans.

Hello,

I came across your latest chapter of "Prototype" yesterday. I read it and then read all previous ones too.

Very nicely written, vivid, good description of characters and, of course, hot babes ;)

Well done, thanks for sharing your story, please do continue.

BR

I like your story very much. My favorite part so far was when rachel ensalved desirea without permission. I think it would be hot to have her run wild secretly :). I also like the addition of latex clothes and the sub fetish style a lot. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. Keep it up!

Just found your series btw but i swear I remember, when Benji finally decided to fully enslave Rachael. She was not allowed to use the Machine without his permission? So doesn't the fact that Rachael used it not just once but three times kinda break the lore you have made? I know you kinda ret-conned this issue when you told the story from Racheals' view point by basically removing it (by not mentioning it). Yet the issue of the command for Rachael is still there in an earlier chapter.

Also im amazed you didnt focus on Racheal, Dez and Maggie were basically when Racheal programmmed maggie she turned maggie into a Domme and that Benji finds out about Racheal; adding Zoe and Cassie is kinda Deux Ex Machina a bit.....

Sorry to sound mean I loving the series and want you to keep making more so I can enjoy it. Since I have to say the story overall is great! and the sex scenes are DAMN GOOD TOO!!!!

Might I invite careful meditation on the following excerpt from Chapter 4, specifically to Rachel's modified training file.

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I had also added "I will never use the machine on Benjamin" and "I will never use the machine to train myself without Benjamin's permission" to make sure those protections were in place right away as well.

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If I were a devious little minx like Rachel, I don't think the above modifications would be grounds for being angelic.

No. I'm not Firstborn_Shadow.

between pantyhose and thigh high stockings! They are NOT the fucking same.

When something, as basc as this, is so blantantly wrong, it immediately makes me think you are 12 years old.

Describing something as thigh high pantyhose is as ridiculous as saying, 'Her full breasts were held high by a red lace thong, matching the sheer red lace bra cupping her ass & cunt.'

Get a clue... Think about the words you write. How can something be BOTH thigh high hose AND pantyhose? The first is only thing high, the latter is hose and panties, combined.

If you ever had to undress a woman before fucking her wearing pantyhose, and then undress one wearing thigh high stockings, you would KNOW the difference.

I fucking hate fake tits. Tormenting Maggie with wanting them is the most evil thing he's done. About breast size I often say, "if they're too large to comfortably run naked, they're too large!" Well, that's more of a preference, I even had one girlfriend with huge udders, and if I wrote harem story there would be all sizes for easy indexing if nothing else.

Aside from that little rant, excellent work, and very enjoyable.

Mind control doesn't bother me. The insistence that Maggie get breast implants does.

Why? Perhaps because it reduces Benjamin from wannabe super-villain to just another pimply 16-year-old whose actual experiences are nil and whose fantasies read more like delusions. (Read the lists of terms that Benjamin embeds in the code: "lovers, slaves, servants, whores, and sluts" or "hot and fuckable servants" to get a sense of that same state of development.) Perhaps we've been so pathetically hung up on it for so long; women get implants - an invasive and often failed surgery - to improve their self-esteem and their job prospects as if a pound of silicone should have squat to do with either.

Perhaps that's the moral of the story? Benji was positioned at the outset as an unambitious loser, drifting toward a middle-aged beer gut and self-loathing. Perhaps we're being reminded that being handed a winning lottery ticket changes you on the surface more than underneath?

There is much to like in the story. Rachel is well-drawn. Maggie is ... well-sketched. Some of the scenes were quite well-written. The early Benjamin, still capable of doubt and moral reflection, had a lot of potential. I just wish it hadn't gone off the rails quite so often.