All Comments on 'Pumpkin'

Honestly, I like the style. Your descriptions were pretty good... but as the previous commenter said: it could have done with some more story/lead-in. Your writing got me hard but was over so quickly, there was no chance to get off.

Keep it up... just try to write the next story with some lead-in... set things up a bit... or continue the story (Pumpkin Ch. 2, perhaps?)

A very good start! Please continue. It was crude, slutty, male-oriented and nasty. NOt bad for a woman writer who professes to be bi.

It's not bad, but could use a bit more build up. For instance you made it clear that the daughter is teasing him so go on in a story about two weeks of teasing and keep it interesting. Go into him fucking his wife's brains out after being seriously turned on by the wife, and etc. There so many ways you can go with this.

Other than that, not bad.

I think I would have preferred it from her point of view though. Keep writing.

I loved this piece! I have had a fantasy just like this and you wrote it so well! It was to the point it was slutty and so erotic. My only advice when writing a piece like this is using more slutty language like slut cunt fuck to emphasize it more. Besides that BRAVO!! Would love to hear more!

Great story I be always dreamed of fucking my step daughter and making her mine