All Comments on 'Put to the Test Ch. 03'

The first two chapters of this story where very well written. This one seemed to wonder around with out direct. It was loaded with too many details which made very little since in this installment. Maybe you are going to tie them in in the next chapter , but they where a distraction in this one. Please keep this story going . Just give us a better map in the next installment.

eh ? donde ?

WHY WRITERS MAKE PEOPLE SO DUMB,BECAUSE WE GIVE WRITERS TO MUCH CREDIT.IF WRITERS WERE AS SMART AS THEY THINK,THEY WOULDN'T WRITE HALF THE SHIT THEY WRITE. A GUY YOU DON'T LIKE ,USE YOUR WIFE CAR AND WIFE ACT FUNNY WHEN YOU GET HOME AND SAY WHATEVER HAPPEN I LOVE YOU.WHAT WIMPY CRAP COMING NOW.

"Erotica" lost out here....

I loved the foreshadowing. Like an earlier comment says, it makes this chapter wander a bit. However, it certainly keeps me looking forward to the next (final?) chapter.

Your writing skills are exceptional. I enjoyed the story quite a bit. That said, it seems that you have a nice plot for a very good short story going here, and you are trying to make it a saga, or an epic. It isn’t. The first three chapters could have easily been on a page or so. Switching perspectives to try to clarify a story is not necessary with your skills as a writer. The hero decked a guy to aid a fair damsel that speaks Portuguese and marries her. (Boy gets girl.) The hero: allows a man he knocked out, and got fired, over the woman to come back to work for him. Loans him the car of the offended woman, interprets Portuguese cursing for the guy, as if it is common to be cursed at in Portuguese all the time. Notices that his wife acted odd since he loaned her car to a guy he knocked out and got fired. Then the minute his wife calls to break a date she arranged, a lovely blonde tries to seduce him and he feels it is all coincidence, and then in ten seconds she hooks up with graybeard. Add also that the guy he dislikes has a severe case of sore genitals, which was made very obvious, but the hero ignores. (Hero may lose girl, or have that perception?) The plot is enjoyable, but needs a faster delivery. We do not need lessons in Portuguese every few paragraphs. I skim through that stuff because I am only fluent in Spanish, German, French, and Russian. Get there while we still are interested! Your writing is among the best on this site and your ability to depict emotion is exceptional. Keep it up!

you and rpsuch do share ideas. The scene in the bar was almost the same as the redhead and Simon in Too Far. The blonde and the bearded guy are detectives, right? However the humor in the story made it worth reading.

Might not be the sexually hottest but is a good story that makes me want to read more to find out the rest.

Might not be the sexually hottest but is a good story that makes me want to read more to find out the rest.

We know Maria is fucking Mike. Will Pete catch them?? Is Maria doing it all because she wants to or is there some hidden reason forcing her to fuck him?? Pictures, maybe??

And the final question--Do Pete and Maria get out alive??

I saw a story on the local news a few years ago about services you could hire to find out if your mate is prone to cheat. That's what inspired the scene in Too Far. But when I saw it on TV my one question was, how can this guy be so stupid? Never has it happened to him and suddenly he's hit on by the most gorgeous woman around. What is he thinking, "I'm amazed it has taken so long for the hottest women to finally realize what a hunk I am?" Simon was suspicious. Hell, as charming as I am, I would smell a setup even though I don't think my wife would ever do that. How can you not suspect? But I don't necessarily suspect Maria. It could have been Mike/Dan trying for no good reason to screw up his life. I'll wait and see.

It's a good kind of scene for anyone to use because it happens a lot. I may use it again.

I'm enjoying the writing style immensely and I think I see where you are going. However, I'm confused in that you introduced Dan Turner coming out of a men's room holding his groin and then later had Pete stop by Dan's cubicle to speak with Mike. Huh?

Mike and Peter did not work for a pharma company when they were working in Brazil. Right? I hope the next chap. does not have Maria telling the same story. Was Maria in the workplace men's room with Mike? What is going on? Did Mike put something in Maria's car? Did he make a copy of her car key? House key? The thick plotens.

I'm afraid Mike.and Maria are getting it on. There is a lot of jungle to hide a body of he catches them. Good chapter.