All Comments on 'Queen of Jarilo'

Hi guys, I'm having some formatting issues with this one.

I was told that the site can't make use of '<>' characters because they're used in HTML code, and so I was instructed that if I replaced them with '<' they would show up properly.

That hasn't happened, and so please excuse the Bug language parts, as they're supposed to appear between angle brackets.

I'm trying to get it sorted out.

that are problems that interest just the grammar nazies. It was an amazing reading, thanks for sharing!

Good story we can learn lessons from it. What's coming up next.

I have read all of your Borealan stories, and I think this one is your best. Certainly the longest one!

Loved the space battle, and the land battles were easy to visualize, due no doubt to my having seen Starship Troopers several times, ha.

The relationship between Walker and Kaz was the best that you have written, in my opinion.

Appreciate your talent!

Now that the war is over what happens to everyone in all of your other stories Lizka and Jamie, Walker and Kaz, Sleethe and Webber, Raz and Stanley, Moralez and Kaisha, Ursi and and Dennis, Boyd and Lorza, McGreggor, and what about O'Brian and Beanstalk there are so many unanswered questions and unfinished stories it's driving me crazy not knowing what's going to happen next, and if you do right more about them can it be more than just one more story about them; And what about your Un-Invited stories. You are too awesome a writer to leave them all like this. (Also while the whole sex with the bug things was still erotic, after all the fighting and killing and what they did to everyone it was kind of weird and out of place even for me and I can handle quite a bit of weird.) But please keep writing about all of them I'm dying to know what happens next with them, especially Sleethe and Webber.

@TLB1981

Next up is a story called 'Housecat' which is a sequel to 'Splashdown'. It's an exploration of what life might be like for a Borealan with a human Alpha. You can read it in its in-progress state on my Patreon page if you'd like. If you've never seen a giant alien wearing a maid outfit, you're about to.

@MisterFrisky

The war for Jarilo has ended, but the Bugs living there are only one hive. There are many more hives, and the war against them will continue for the foreseeable future. Don't worry, I have lots more stories planned for the setting. Some upcoming stories include 'Return to Krell', 'The Rask Rebellion', and 'Outpost 3'.

I will be working on a sequel to 'Highway to Krell' featuring Sleethe and Webber very soon, and I also have big plans for Liz and Jamie. See if you can figure out what's going to happen to them (hint: it involves Bug tech!)

As always, thank you all for your support and feedback, I read everything you send me.

Must say I was pleasantly surprised with this story. Really great job. Will be reading more!

What about Vi and 'last chance'

There are multiple queens. That kind of makes me think that this hive has gone (for lack of a better term) rogue

As with all great science fiction each story adds to the depth of the universe you are building. I can't wait for the next chapter. Thanks.

Both your krell and borealan stories are awesome but between the two I like your highway to krell stories better you put just the right amount of romance, humour, and sex in them to make them my favorite of all your stories. Sleethe and Webber really seem to care about and love each other. I love the sex and humour but I also like stories like yours that have true romance in them. It would also be kind of cool to me if webber really could have some sort of krell human hybrid child because even though I LOVE that in most all your stories they become mates/husband and wife, it would be really cool if your characters could have family's together. (On a completely separate note why do they all 'taste' like metal)

Also the whole thing about webber and sleethe having krell/human hybrid children, not bad those two deserve a family together somehow, don't you agree Snekguy

Yeah, this is certainly one of your most epic, and possibly best, works yet. What's most hilarious about this is that this is an extension of your forte; giant alien women. You cap this story off with an even gianter, even more alien, and even more (if we really want to digress) woman in the form of the Queen of Jarilo.

And, for the longest time, I was wondering when you'd have somebody have sex with the Bugs. It had to be inevitable. The first time I saw them was, oh, gosh, I can't even recall but it was when they were attacking Pinwheel, and I was wondering, "How Long Will It Be Before Snekguy Writes About A Human Fucking A Space-Bug". The time is now. Also, does the act of having sex with a Betelgeusian count as Buggery?

Though, considering the attack on Pinwheel, that may be a plot hole. Why would an individual colony attack an unusable space station? Hmm, problem must be addressed...

Eventually somehow webber and Sleethe will have a family as will everyone else right

Like always. Thank you for sharing it with us!

Holy moly Snek, you've done it again! I bet you had an ant farm as a kid didn't you? Wonderful story with your usual twists and turns to keep us on edge thruout. Hoping you add some more in the future just to let us know how the ants fair. Amazing, thank you for this. Five Stars! Semper Fi!

It has to do with the experience you have gained over the time all of your stories ahve been written, but moreso, I feel it has to do with what others have mentioned, the length.

By far, the longest, the length gave you time to develop the characters of Walker, and Raz. The importance of character development in fiction cannot be overstated. By the time Walker was dining on 'honey', your readers really KNEW the character, and that goes along way towards immersion in the plot.

One word of caution. I don't know if you are actively have some mechanism you are using to keep your characters separate in your mind, but if you don't, you should begin to create something. I don't recall if it was this story, or Rig Runner, or even Date With a Drifter, since I have read them all in the last 36-40 hours, but I began to see some repetition in the behavior of the main male characters in the stories.

I had commented a week or three ago, after finishing the first 2-3 stories of yours, mentioning some of your characters affectations seem 'off' to me; not quite in line with typical male behavior. Now that I have read all of your Lit submissions, I can look back and see repetition in character traits and sexual behaviors.

Repetition leads to boredom in your readers. I'd hate to see you caught in that situation, since you have such a fertile imagination, and have created such a diverse universe.

It means more work for you to compile a database off your characters' personality traits but, in the end, your work will be that much better, because of it.

Thanks for sharing your amazing imagination and, for all the work it takes to put together the finished projects you submit.

(I was wondering what the ASCII codes before and after the Bug's 'pheromone dialogue' was all about. I kinda thought it might be HTML battle related.

Been there before, got the tee shirt!)

Regards,

GeoD

@ all you sentimentalists wanting the incompatible species couples to make babies; why do you think Snek made Walker's new 'queen' a genetics savant?

Man you not only went down the rabbit hole you dived right in with this story and most importantly you made it scientific enough to not only be plausible but believable and i'm sure i'm not the only person who thought that the queen of Jarilo was going to be a new species native to the planet, nice curve ball lol

I've read all your work here and i have to say this is the best written story so far and i like many others who have just finished reading this will likely agree in me saying this, i hope to see more on this story...Thanks for sharing i loved it.

Best UNN universe story yet! When I started reading it, I figured Kaz would wind up being the "Queen" implied by the story title, but realized Walker would be meeting the Bug queen once he was captured, didn't expect him to be mating with her though! What a cool plot twist...

Speaking of Walker, unless I'm mistaken a Corporal is one rank below a Sergeant, not a high ranking officer, so that kinda muddied the waters (for me anyway) when he attempted to pull rank and insisted he be the one to report the flying drone to Fleet Command...other than that, GREAT STORY. Keep up the good work.

Someone suggested a few months back that you do a story on that Polar Borealan who is a Doctor on Pinwheel, tell us how she came to attend medical school and get assigned to Pinwheel and I agree, that would be an interesting story

Considering how wrote about the betelagusian Queen saying that the drones she she said she would lay would still look and be betelagusian's I'm guessing that Webber and Sleethe's children would have the same life cycle and Anatomy and body of a Krell but would be able to actually speak.

P. S. It would be cool, sexy, weird, and erotic if Webber eggs, after all the queen will still have eggs even though she was mated by Walker.

This is the best Story of the Pinwheel Universe, I hope you can make a Sequel. 5 Stars aren't enough it should be at least 10

I have been reading your stories in the order recommended. I have to say that this one is the best I have read so far. Thank you for sharing!

DJ

Your story is great, thoroughly enjoyed reading. I gather you are a big fan of the Oxford comma as you seem to use that after every other word.

I realize I'm late on the comment but regardless I absolutely loved the story. That being said, I don't know what rank structure you were going for there. I got a little hung up on walker being a corporal, from how you worded the story I believe you intended for him to be an officer, however if I went by the United States Marine Corps structure a corporal falls just below the rank of sergeant. Could you please clarify? Again I really enjoyed the story, especially the amount of time you put into the minor details. I've only read about three of your stories so far and I can't wait to read the rest!

Jarilo, come for a wank, stay for the story!

Holy crap this was epic one of my favs and now there a bug colony that joined the uun mabye we could have some coop battles bugs and human working together and see how this new broad will work with them and the queen had a very zerg feelign to her I liked her a lot would love to see some more scene with her and walker some time wink wink

I've read a lot of your work, and liked it. This is, in my opinion, one of your best. Wow!

Good story. 6 stars

The parts where the bugs were trying to assign him to a job really made me laugh. Very amusing!

Agree with the other guy. 6 stars. Hope to see bugs in the coalition!

My favorite part was where Walker was messing with the digging operation. So awkward and hilarious

Having read all of your stories at least twice, honestly think this one is the best! And I really appreciate the time and effort you take to entertain us... thank you :-)

But...... you fucked a bug dude.....

I've read many of your stories, in fact have been rereading in order. Just when I thought you had done all you can, you go and throw a curveball. Reaching this point shows me why you wish to turn them into ebooks, because you are a truly gifted writer.

Fantastic!

I’ve been reading your work in chronological order since I was introduced to it. Excellent overall, yet this is by far my favorite I’ve read. How unusual is this queen that she was even able to consider such a plan, let alone carry it out successfully. Brilliant!

Outstanding. Simply phenomenal science fiction. I love how these stories have a vibe that's kind a combination of Stargate SG-1 and Starship Troopers.

Just Wow. A HUGE curve ball in the story line. Your SKILLS at weaving story’s is A-Mazing. Thank you for Sharing

- pal

Ok *someone* has to say it;

Needle-dick the bug fucker...

lol... sorry. it was a great story though.

Good story, nice development of the bugs from a universally hated and overwhelming enemy, to a type of creature humanoids can now communicate with. Your sex scenes with humans and Borealans and Valbaranay were arousing, almost making me contemplate the erotic potential in fat women. Your bug sex scenes were less accessible, but still, you have a gift with weird mildly disturbing descriptions of alien love scenes. Thank you for many hours of pleasurable reading of really well done science fiction erotica.

My 2 cents

What a story! I liked the story and the characters you developed. I liked the interaction between them. I will look for more of your stories to read. Thanks for your time and your imagination.

I put this one off for a bit because I'd already read Firebrand and Worlds Apart 2 which explained pretty much everything that happened here, but I finally caught up to it and now I'm glad I read it.

I was kind of hoping for some moments of Walker applying his new sense of smell to his human life when he made it back, maybe even some lines with Kaz about being able to share the experience of really smelling things now, but still a good read.

I really like your writing; I don't know the exact sequence of stories but enjoying them nonetheless. Thanks for the great stories.

We need a Trog tale, Snekguy. Those guys must surely intimidate even Borealans.

This was quite an ambitious undertaking and you pulled it off brilliantly!

Another great story as always! At the end of this story, I was picturing Sgt. Walker as Dr. Maturin from Patrick O'Brian's legendary Aubry-Maturin series (Master and Commander movie was based on that for those who don't know.) The spy, fencer, doctor and naturalist!

Of course I have a tiny criticism! Oh I hate to do this to such a good writer of an incredibly interesting series and world you have created!: The Lt. Colonel would not be wearing dress whites in a forward operating area. Even General and Admiral ranks wear fatigues near the front. I was a US Army tanker in the 90s and also studied Military History among other subjects in college afterward the army.... I ended up reading the Rask Rebellion as the first story in this amazing world before finding the book order and starting at the beginning. I have to admit that you did a great job with military terminology, tactics and many other aspects of military operations. You've obviously done your homework!

Loved the three species scout crew in Rask Rebellion and would love to see them again; really love so many of these stories that you probably get all kinds of requests for sequels. You're the expert, you do the sequels that you see fit!

Brilliant!!!

I know fat chance that you're still responding..

But can my wife and I make and audio book out of this stoey

As with all I have read from you, this is fantastic!!