All Comments on 'Quiet Desperation'

Chapter 2 please

I enjoyed the "ride." Thanks.

some just handle it a lot better. TK U MLJ LV NV

Good character development, nice setting for the story line.

Well done. An enjoyable quick read. This a story that could have legs, but I hope not. You have a good ending as is.

Thanks

You did great with character development and in capturing the ambiance of club bicycle rides. The fast group is competitive, and the rest are socializing, getting healthy exercise, and enjoying the outing. I suspect you have done a few of these rides. A follow up story would be appreciated.

Messaging her leg suggests, oh, maybe tattooing a message on there? You mean massaging (with two 'a's). And you're very consistent, consistently wrong. Not just this story, either.

Suck

CHEATING is NOT romance, why the fuck is there so many writers bombarding ROMANCE with cheating stories? 1* only wish we could give minus scores.

Cheating adds conflict and where you have conflict you have drama. Tim and Addie, while not yet "full blown" adulterers, have developed feelings for one another. Being married, their nascent romance is a cautionary thing that might or might not go any further than what happened in the story. A few posters here have requested a follow-up. I might accommodate them, because I'm curious myself about what these characters will do next.

I thought that this is a marvelous start. I graded it highly. As a mid senior myself I see this as a common theme. More common than most people think. Story wise this is in an early phase with Tim and Addie and the story cannot end like this. There are too many loose ends and is very difficult to see this ending happily for all..... unless Jim and Diane... Well, that has happened before... to me. And everyone is living happy ever after 38 years later. But for a while it was very depressing. Sounds like a romance theme doesn't it.

Per the number of posters requesting a follow-up, I will consider writing one. The story can stand as is, though, as I wrote in a past comment, I'm curious myself what Tim and Addie will do next. No less a literary personage than John Updike wrote a number of short stories about the ebb and flow of marriage in the Maple series. His was thinly disguised fiction of his own marriage. For the record: not so in my case.

I'll agree, this story is begging for further exploration. That said, I implore you to take your time with the build-up. The delicious part is the tension, the mirrored conflict, and the romance (not just physical sex). I'd love to see them eventually get there, but work for it.

MASSAGE!!!!!!!

Can you edit a story once published?

So, massage this message. More than once, you have Tim giving Addie a message, when you really meant he was manipulating her muscles, which is a massage.

Fix it please!

Oh, nice story by the way. Despite the error.

What a cheating slut! Why does she even start kissing Tim?