by JessicaS
Thank you for an exciting and a rousing story. Those of us who know love the experience and you made it fresh and new with your style and context. Do it again please
That was pretty hot. But you can't leave it hanging like that. What was the bet? Obviously Amy lost, but was she really willing to do that? Was it their first time? What caused that to be the wager? Had Ashley lost, was it going to be he doing the same? And that's just how did we get here. There's a lot to to in the after moments. I think this little story has a lot of legs.
This story caused me to check out some of your others. You do a really good job. I do wish they were a bit lenghtier, perhaps 2-3 Lit pages. Still, they're nice stories. I really liked Prank Call. Go back to your comment section and check out the rebuttal to some of the trogs complaining about your format. I agree with the lady below. You do a good job. If someone offers you constructive criticism, listen to them. But for all the numbnuts, just keep writing and ignore your detractors.
Thanks people, I appreciate your opinions. And I'm really glad you enjoyed the story.
Jedd, I like that you thought about the story (often thinking about it is more interesting than the sex, isn't it?), but this was just a simple one-shot about two girls hanging out at a horse race. I don't mean to be a tease - I added the "legs" on the go, just to spice it up, maybe make it stand out just a bit from the torrent of stories, but I never had any intention of developing it any further. It just doesn't feel like providing explanations would make the story any better. Thanks for all your comments though, I appreciate them.
See Jessica, I'm not the only one who feels you should further adventures of these sisters. Although even though it should be fairly anonymous, I would hope Ashley and Amy are not the real names of KandC. This would probably not be the best place to put that out.
Thank you CupK, I'm happy the two of you liked my story.
I know Jedd, but this story just wasn't designed to go on. But I have other ideas and you people might see similar but longer stories from me in the future.
I believe otherwise. Now, it's your story, and you may not have the desire to continue it, and that is certainly your prerogative, but the design of the story absolutely lends itself to future tales and/or a backstory. I hope you're not selling yourself short, for you are a very talented writer. I would love to see you expand this storyline, but short of that, I certainly look forward to other stories as you alluded to, with a bit more length to them. Keep up the good writing as you see now you have a pretty good fan base.
As a fellow writer here on Lit I have to say Kudos to you. Short, sweet and to the point. A quick excellent read. 5 stars.
That was a great little read. The S/S couplings are far too rare in the IT category. Thank you for all your contributions.
Just re-read this. One of my favorites here. How the fuck it's rated below 4 is mind boggling. I give it a resounding 5 and hope.the author writes many more like it.