Radiant Flower: A Brothers Romance

But the thrill turned to horror as I watched him bat my hand away with his free arm. He stood up and hopped to the other side of the room. He turned around and glared at me. His boxers were still tented, however, since his boner had persisted.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he asked sharply. "I'm your brother, for Christ sake!"

It was as if he had stabbed me in the heart just then. I instantly felt sick, and regretted what I had just done.

"Tan, I didn't mean to," I said. "I mean, I do have feelings for you, yes, but I shouldn't have pursued them like that. I know it's wrong, I do, it's just that, well, it's just that—"

"That you are a pervert!" he yelled. "I can't believe you can say that you have feelings for me! That is so wrong!"

"I'm sorry!" I yelled back. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. "I'm sorry! Please forgive me! We can just forget this happened!"

"You know . . ." he started, shaking his head, his mouth in a frown. "I'm off to bed. You leave tomorrow morning, right? Don't wait for me. Just go!" With that, he stormed out of the room and slammed his door after he went into his bedroom.

I lay there on the couch moaning and crying and thinking about how everything was ruined. That night I didn't even pull out the sofa bed. In fact, I didn't even stay the night. Although I was slightly drunk, I decided to risk the 25 mile drive home. I put on my clothes, grabbed my bags, and fled the house. After entering my apartment, I collapsed onto the bed and fell asleep in a puddle of tears.

The next few weeks were bad, really bad. During that whole time, I didn't hear from my brother at all. My mom called and asked if something was the matter, that Tanner had told her that he wouldn't be able to join the rest of the family at Thanksgiving this year. I told her that I had no idea what was going on, but that I would let her know if I found out.

I tried as hard as I could to forget everything—all those old feelings I had for him, all the fantasies, what had happened that night, everything. But it didn't work; I was still hopelessly in love with him, though heartbroken and feeling desperate. I thought that maybe I would never see Tanner ever again.

But one day he called me. I answered it expecting to hear more of what I had heard that night, but his tone had changed. He sounded like my brother again. He asked if I was all right, how class was going, if I was ready for finals next week . . . and then he asked, "So, when are you finals over? Want to maybe come over to place that last weekend, before going to Mom and Dad's place for the break?"

I was surprised and a little nervous, but answered, "Um, sure, Tan. I would like that."

"Great," he said.

"And about what happened before, it was just a—"

"Don't worry," he said, cutting me off. "We can talk about that later. So you're good to go?"

I finished finals week and then made the drive to his place. It was late afternoon, and the sun had just gone down. He invited me in and we sat down at the table and had a couple of beers as we talked about the weather, the drive I had made to get to his place, what Mom and Dad's Christmas plans were, and other such small talk. The conversation was pretty typical of most of our conversations, except that there were a lot more pauses, and he was leaning away from me pretty drastically.

"Can we . . . go into the living room to talk for a bit?" he asked, biting his lip a little.

"Sure," I said.

We walked from the kitchen to the living room and sat down next to each other on the couch—the same couch where he had so vigorously rejected my not-so-brotherly approaches.

"So, Taylor, I want to apologize," he started. "I mean, I want to apologize for the other night . . . I said some really mean things, and I'm sorry."

I felt my heart swell within me, and said, "No worries, man. I apologize too, for doing what I did. It was wrong."

"But . . ." He was fumbling for words here, and looked away from me as he spoke. "But . . . I have . . . feelings for you, too, I think."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He had feelings for me, too? This couldn't be happening! This was . . . simply too good to be true. Was I hearing it wrong?

"What do you mean?" I asked, swallowing hard.

"I mean that . . . well, I am also physically attracted to you," he said. This time he turned to look at me. I tried to find insincerity in those eyes, to see if he was just joking. I could tell he was dead serious.

"You are?" I asked, my mouth remaining open long after I had finished asking the short question.

"Yeah," he said. "I mean, it's crazy, and I'm still really confused about it . . . but yeah, I am attracted to you too. I don't know when it started. I think I was, maybe, 16 years old the first time I . . . thought about you in a way that brother's probably shouldn't."

"Oh, Tan!" I called out. "I can't believe it. Do you know how long I have . . . had feelings for you? I never, never suspected that you felt the same way!"

"Well, I did . . . and I do still."

I was trying to think logically, trying to figure out the next move if there was one to be made. My mind was filled with erratic thoughts. I struggled to contain myself.

Before I could say anything, he was saying, "If you don't want to do anything about it, I totally understand. We were pretty drunk that night. I mean, I'm not even sure I want to do anything about it. Well, maybe. I don't know what I want."

"No, I feel the same way!" I said quickly, a feeling of panic in me now. "I am open to anything, whatever you want."

He thought about that for a minute and then said, "Well . . . I do want to try things out. I want to . . . I guess you can say 'experiment,' but that sounds really stupid though."

"You mean, like, kissing?" I asked.

"I mean, taking it really slow, you know?" he said in reply. As he said it he looked at my lips. "Just baby steps, seeing where it goes."

"Oh, I totally agree!" I blurted out. "So . . . do you want to kiss me?"

"Um . . . yes." He again looked at my lips.

I slowly scooted over on the couch so that we were right next to each again, as we were the other night. I took his right hand and held it between both of my hands, massaging his palm with my thumbs. He was trembling and his palms were a little sweaty. I must have been trembling myself.

"Have you ever kissed another guy?" I asked.

"No," he said. "I don't even know if I'm gay or not, really . . . The only guy I, um, like is you."

As if in slow motion, I leaned in towards him and placed my lips on his. The contact was electrifying but the kiss was simple. Our lips smacked only a little bit as I pulled away again.

"That was . . . interesting," he said.

"Electrifying!" I said, and giggled. "Want to try it again, bro?"

"Sure."

I again leaned in and felt his lips against mine. But this time I lingered, and then both of our lips started to move and to really converse, one set of lips with the other. I took his upper lip between both of mine and sucked on it gently, pulling at it as I pulled away for a small moment. He did the same thing to me, and then I felt his tongue, wet and smooth, flick into my mouth. I stuck out my own tongue and licked his lips, his front teeth, and then his tongue as it leapt out to meet mine.

As we kissed he caressed my side, and my hand found his thigh again. Soon there was more touching and even heavier kissing. I massaged his crotch as he squeezed one of my butt cheeks and slid his fingers into the small groove in my jeans made by my crack. We were full-on making out. I was hard and he was growing harder every second.

We made out for about one hour, still fully clothed, and then he pulled away and said, "Maybe we should just take a little break. What do you think?"

I nodded.

"Tay, I really liked that," he said. "I really, really liked that . . . I just think we should take it slow, as we talked about. That okay?"

I nodded again. But I added, "That's just a sample of what's to come. We are in for quite a journey, babe."

He blushed, perhaps because I called him "babe." He stood up and raised his arms above his head in order to stretch them out a little. At his crotch his boner was still perfectly in view, though it seemed to have gone down a little bit since standing up.

"Let's watch another movie—what do you say?" he asked.

"You know that I don't actually watch movies with you, right babe?" I said, smiling brightly at him. "But you can turn something on. Can we . . . cuddle though?"

We sat there on the couch watching the movie, his arm around me and my head against his chest. We played with each other's hands a little bit and a few times we exchanged little kisses. I hardly paid any attention to the movie, of course.

The movie was finally over, and we ended up making out again for about ten minutes. This time I reached beneath his shirt and ran my fingers over his nipples. He pressed his rock hard penis against my thigh at one point, rubbing it back and forth a little.

But that's as far as it got that night. He stopped, and said, "Okay, I think that's enough for tonight. What do you say?"

"I say . . . that you're cute!" I said, eyeing him from the side.

"I think that you're cute," he replied, smiling brightly. "And you're a really good kisser."

"You're not too bad, yourself. It must run in the family."

I stood up and we held hands for a few minutes, just looking into each other's eyes. Finally, he kissed me and then said, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, baby," I said.

I slept like a baby that night, on that couch bed. I had pleasant dreams and woke up early the next morning feeling refreshed. The apartment was filled with the gray light of pre-sunrise. I just lay there on the bed trying to remember everything that had happened the previous night. It didn't seem real! How could it be real! But it was real!

Then I heard him coming down the hall towards me. I turned and found him standing there in his pajamas. He sat down on the bed beside me and I scooted over so that I could hug him.

"Hey handsome," I said, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "How'd you sleep?"

"Oh, it was fantastic," he said. "You?"

"Great."

"Do you want breakfast?" he asked.

"I want YOU, silly!" I answered. I hit him playfully on the shoulder.

Tanner made breakfast for us—scrambled eggs and some ham, plus orange juice. We sat at the little table in his kitchen and talked and flirted and exchanged long glances. We discussed what we would do that day and decided upon going to the mall at about noon and buying Christmas gifts for the rest of the family.

"Okay, I'm going to take a shower," Tanner said.

"All right," I said. I sat down on the now folded up couch and looked at my phone.

"Do you . . . well, do you want to join me?" Tanner asked.

That surprised me, though I guess it shouldn't have. I looked up at him and asked, "Take a shower together?" I swallowed hard.

"Yeah," he said. "But only if you're okay with that. We said we would take it slow, right?"

"Absolutely. Let's do it, though." My heart raced within me at the thought of finally seeing him fully naked.

We held hands until we got into the bathroom together. He stood in front of me and pulled his shirt off. Again, there was that beautiful chest of his.

"I want you to take my shirt off," I informed him, so politely. "Pretty please?"

He grabbed the bottom of my T-shirt and pulled it up. So we both stood there now, our chests exposed.

"Do you like it?" I asked, putting my hand on my hip.

Tanner reached out and touched my stomach, slowly heading upwards towards my pecs. He fondled them gently, and pressed his fingers into my nipples. He pulled at one of them, and then the other.

"Oh, I love that," I said. "I want you to suck them too, sometime."

"One hundred dollars," he said, and laughed.

I punched him on the shoulder and we both exchanged loving, playful smiles.

"So . . ."

"So, the pants now," I said, pointing down at his crotch.

He bent slightly and put his thumbs beneath the waistband. He pulled it down and there it was, his huge, semi-erect penis, dangling right there between those thighs I had so gently caressed the night before. He now stood totally naked in front of me.

He nodded at me, and I let him take my own pants off. He bent over to do it so that his head was right in front of my penis—which was fully erect. He looked like he wanted to kiss it, or lick it, but he was soon standing up again.

He turned around and bent over so that he could turn on the facet. I very much enjoyed the sight of his beautiful ass, now fully exposed to my view. The water turned on and he put his hand beneath the stream to gauge the heat.

"It's ready," he said, turning towards me again.

He went in first and then, taking my hand, led me in after him. I loved the feel of the hot water against my skin, though at first he was kind of hogging the stream. We just stood for a while, holding each other's hands, looking at each other's bodies openly, top to bottom and all around. Then he pulled me towards him and we hugged really close and tight so that not only our chests but our legs, and, more noticeably, our penises made contact. He jabbed right into me as I jabbed into him, and then I noticed that our penises were touching. I pulled my head back and looked at him again. I leaned in for a kiss and we started to French kiss as we had the previous night. Meanwhile, we rocked back and forth and our penises rubbed together, creating a satisfying friction. We did that for maybe 20 minutes, and then we separated briefly and soaped each other up. He soaped me up, rinsed me, and then I soaped him up. I loved his fingers on, around, and beneath my penis as he washed me. I took his own penis in my hands and played it with it and squeezed it, loving how hard it was and thinking about how much it ached for release.

We were both rinsed off and so he turned off the shower. He grabbed a towel hanging from a hook on the wall and offered it to me. I thanked him and began drying myself off. As I did, he randomly put his hand on my butt and patted it gently.

"You have a very nice little butt, bro," he said.

He dried off with another towel as I exited the shower. I wrapped the towel around my waist and headed out of the bathroom. I was about to go back to the couch, where my clothes were—when I decided to take the other way and go into his bedroom. I saw that he had made his bed (like a good boy!). I untied the towel and let it drop onto the floor. I fell backwards onto the bed and sprawled out so that my arms were far above my head and my legs were spread wide so that not only my penis but also my anus were in full view.

Tanner came into the room and looked at my body.

"My God, you are beautiful," he said.

"Thanks, babe," I replied, smiling as wide as I could.

He untied his towel and, as I had done just a moment before, let it drop heavily onto the carpet. I watched him as he approached the bed, and then got on top of it, knees first, and scooted towards me. He put his outstretched hands on either side of my body so that he was able to position himself right above me. I felt his penis as it slid up my thigh towards my groin area where it, again, rubbed up against my own penis. His face was now right above mine. He lowered it a little and we kissed and made out again, this time touching and caressing and grabbing each other's body parts fully nude—our bodies in all their naked glory.

I am the one who disconnected us this time. I pushed him a little so that he would stop kissing me. He looked into my lust filled eyes.

"I want to suck your dick, baby," I said, reaching down and squeezing it between my fingers.

"Let's do this . . . How about we do some 69?" he asked. "I mean, it's your first time, and my first time."

"Okay," I said.

It took us a moment before we were in the right position, but finally his penis was hanging down above my face. I eagerly took it into my mouth, licking it all over with my tongue and gently running it across the ridges of my teeth. I had never done this before, except in my dreams, but it all felt natural. At the same time, his mouth worked at my penis. He seemed to know exactly what he was doing. He sucked on it long and hard.

I felt orgasm coming and so I stopped licking his cock and yelled out, "I'm about to cum, baby!" He didn't let me go. Instead, he sucked harder, clutching my butt cheeks in his powerful hands so he could steady me. I couldn't hold it any longer and so soon I was climaxing, squirting my load directly into his mouth. To my surprise, he didn't refuse it, and I heard him swallow. He was drinking my cum! I squirmed beneath him, my body shot through with the most exquisite pleasure I had ever known.

I was about to take him into my mouth again, so as to make him cum also—but he let my penis fall from his lips and then he was turning around. He smiled broadly at me and leaned down to be able to exchange a furious kiss with me. That was the first time I had ever tasted my own cum.

I was about to say something, to tell him that I would give him a blowjob too, so that he would cum. Before I knew it, however, he was forcefully turning me around so that my butt was up in the air. I understood him perfectly and so I got up onto my knees and exposed my anus to him.

"It's all yours, baby!" I called out.

Except it wasn't his hard cock that pressed against my anus—it was his tongue. He licked all around the hole and then slid it in and out of my anus several times. One of his hands clasped my now flaccid penis, squeezing it and pulling at it and rubbing. It felt great, all of it.

Then it was happening, without a condom, without lube (which we would use regularly later on) and without any warning. I felt the tip of his penis against my anus and then, a moment later, he penetrated my bowels and went in all the way to the root. I screamed in both agony and pleasure, especially when he pulled it out again almost all the way and then thrust it in again. I grasped the pillow at the head of the bed and buried my face in it, yelling and perhaps crying a little bit. It was such a strange, unreal experience!

He was going faster and faster, and squeezing my hips harder and harder . . . and then finally he was cumming, emptying himself into me. The liquid was a soothing, welcome relief. As he came, he yelled out and then, after another few moments, he pulled right out of me in one slick motion and then fell to the bed, trying to catch his breath.

"Oh my God!" he called out. "Taylor! Oh my God!" He started to laugh, and then I laughed, and we were both laying there holding each other on the bed, relishing our shared orgasmic joy.

"I love you, baby," I said, after we had calmed down a little bit.

He stared into my eyes, and reached out to touch my lips with his fingers. "I love you too, sweetheart," he said, smiling gently. "You are so beautiful."

"Aww, thanks." I leaned in and kissed him.

That was the first time we had sex and it was, for me, the culmination of a long, sometimes painful journey. But it was all worth it.

___________________

Now, four months later, I am here with him again, sleeping next to him as we had slept next to each other as little kids, before either of us knew anything about either sex or love. I glance at him in the dim candle light, and admire what a masterpiece nature has created—and to know that this wonderful man is all mine, both brother and lover in one! It is too good to be true. I am the luckiest guy in the world!