Rags Ch. 02

Ashley could always tell the ones Layla liked in particular. She didn't know the names because she was never really interested in flowers enough to care what they were called. Layla, however, seemed to share a sense of connection with them. When a smell particularly pleased her, Layla's eyes would become kind of distant and glazed over then shut for a few brief seconds as though she were trying to shut that moment into her memory forever. Every touch and smell of what Ashley considered to be mere plants looked almost calculated, and her mind brought forth a comparison to a wine connoisseur. Now THAT is something that Ashley could probably get into. Still, she thought Layla looked adorable, dainty even as she flitted from flower to flower repeating the process with the few selections that were available at this time of year. To be honest, Ashley thought everything Layla did she managed to look absolutely adorable.

Ashley heard a throat clearing behind her and was startled. An old lady stood behind her whom she had not heard approaching. Layla heard the noise too and turned abruptly. The old lady spoke in a slightly weathered voice.

"Well, what do we have here?" she asked with a very stern expression," Two street bums coming in here to steal my flowers again, huh?"

"I-It wasn't me, us I mean. We didn't do anything, honest." Ashley tried to explain. She looked back at Layla and saw she was going to receive no help from her. Layla's face looked like a mix of shock and fear.

"Maybe I should call the police now and save myself the trouble."

Ashley looked back at the old lady.

"Please, ma'am, we weren't trying to steal. Honestly, I- wait a minute."

Ashley watched as the old woman's body began to shake, a smile quickly replacing the menacing scowl she had been wearing. Ashley was confused, so she looked back at Layla and knew that she had just been had. Layla's expression of shock had turned into one of pure amusement, and she burst into loud laughter.

"Lay-lay!" Ashley shouted, embarrassed.

"Oh, Ashie." Layla said as she wrapped Ashley in a hug, a bright smile on her face. "Ashieashieashie," Layla sighed as she rested her head against Ashley.

"That wasn't nice." Ashley said, indignant.

"But it sure was fun," the old lady croaked behind her and Layla backed off with a giggle.

"Hey, Mrs, Finnegan." Layla said as she approached the old lady and gave her a hug as well.

"Hello, Layla. I suppose it is the usual, then?" she asked.

"Yes, but twelve pinks this time and-"

"Don't forget the daffodil." Mrs. Finnegan said in unison with Layla. Layla laughed.

"Thanks, Mrs. Finnegan!" Layla said with another hug.

"You're welcome, sweetie, anything for you. However, I do actually need to move around if I am to get your order."

"Oh." Layla said, releasing the older woman who smiled and walked off behind the counter.

"Do you know her?" Ashley asked.

"Kind of. I have been coming here since I was a little girl."

"You're still a little girl." Ashley joked.

"Stop it." Layla said smacking Ashley's arm playfully.

"She knows I am homeless, but I pay so she tolerates me." Layla explained.

"Tolerate you?" Mrs. Finnegan asked with a look of mock surprise on her face to which Layla giggled.

"I should have warned you before we came in, Mrs. Finnegan is harmless, but she is a practical joker."

Mrs. Finnegan was behind the counter counting the flowers and ringing up the purchase. Layla took Ashley's hand and led her towards the counter.

"Yes, quite harmless." Mrs. Finnegan agreed. "Don't go telling everybody about that, however. I do have a reputation as queen bitch to protect."

Ashley looked at Layla in shock, she had never heard an old lady swear before. Layla mouthed 'husband' to Ashley in explanation and Ashley giggled.

"I saw that, young lady." Mrs. Finnegan said with a smile. "Now, sweetie, do you want this arranged the same way as usual?"

"Yes." Layla replied.

"With a pink bow?"

"How could I go without it?" Layla asked with a roll of her eyes. Mrs. Finnegan smiled and busied herself with arranging the flowers.

As they waited, Ashley looked and Layla and asked," How did you get around to start coming here, and how could you afford the flowers?"

It seemed an innocent enough question to Ashley, but her eyes registered Mrs. Finnegan's' slight pause with the flower arrangement as well as Layla's sudden hesitancy. She watched Layla go a little bit rigid as the wrapping resumed.

"There is a story to that. It will take some time to tell." Layla said almost in a whisper, and Ashley could hear a slight hitch in her breathing as she did so.

"We seem to have some time." Ashley pushed, and she could see out of her peripheral vision Mrs. Finnegan's smile turn into a frown.

"Yes," Layla said," but not here, please?"

"Okay." Ashley said, worried.

"There we are." Mrs. Finnegan's voice broke into the sudden silence that erupted between the girls. "Twelve lovely carnations and one lonely daffodil for two lovely ladies. That will be ten dollars even."

Layla smiled and looked approvingly at the bouquet.

"You are always spoiling me, Mrs. Finnegan." Layla smiled. She turned to Layla, and smiled a smile more dazzling than anything she had ever seen come from Layla. Layla looked away to pull some money from her pocket and laid ten dollars on the counter.

"There we are, young lady. The flowers are yours. Or hers, rather." Mrs. Finnegan said.

Layla picked up the arrangement of flowers and looked at it in complete adoration. She brought the flowers to her nose and inhaled their scent. She closed her eyes and a tear fell from the corner of her right eye. She held out her hand for Ashley to take and led her towards the door.

"Miss?" Mrs. Finnegan called out. Both girls turned around.

"Not Layla, you. Can I ask you a question in private?" Mrs. Finnegan asked sweetly. "You can wait outside, dear." Mrs. Finnegan said addressing Layla. Layla looked confused, but walked out the door.

"She didn't introduce us," Mrs. Finnegan said, her tone suddenly very business-like," what is your name?"

"Ashley." she replied, suddenly feeling nervous about this conversation.

"I don't approve of your lifestyle, but I can see how you look at her. She is a naïve girl, but it isn't her fault. She doesn't understand some things, do you understand?"

"Yes, ma'am, I've noticed."

"What are your intentions with her?"

Ashley looked incredulous, she should've been grilled by Layla's parents about this, not someone a complete stranger. Still, she knew this woman felt a sense of protectiveness for Layla, and sensed an opportunity to make an ally.

"I want to date her, if she will have me. Like you said, she is naïve to some things. I highly doubt she knows what a lesbian is, let alone how things would work in that way. I wanted to open her up to that world she has missed so much on hearing about growing up. If I can do so to the point she will choose to have me despite the fact that I am a girl, then that is all I can ask. I have to be fair though, and open her up to everything, the good and the bad. I don't want to scare her away, but I want her to be able to make an informed choice based on what she wants and needs as far as love goes."

"What she needs is pretty obvious, don't you think?" Mrs. Finnegan said after a momentum' silence.

"What do you mean?"

"I have never seen Layla so comfortable and care-free as often as she comes in here. She shies away from everybody, she hardly looks even me in the eye, and you are the first person I know of that she has willingly given a hug to. I should also mention I have never seen her smile so much in the twelve years I have known her. She smiled more in the past twelve minutes than I have ever seen her pull off in twelve years. She is naïve, and her head may not have gotten the message yet, but her heart is clearly yours. What happens with that heart, for good or bad, is totally up to you. Be careful with her, Ashley. She has experienced enough pain in her life. That's all. Go off with your lovebird, because I think she has something she wants to show you."

"Yeah, she said so before we left. How did you know?" Ashley asked.

"Because she brought you to this shop, on this day of all days. I think you will gain some valuable insights that will help you on your journey. If you play things right, you may get your wish, as well as the girl of your dreams."

Ashley nodded and walked out of the store to where Layla was waiting with a questioning look in her eyes. She already knew the question, but did not know exactly how to answer it yet.

"Later." Ashley said, trying to head off the conversation. Layla merely nodded and took Ashley by the hand.

From inside the store, Mrs. Finnegan watched the two girls walk off in the direction Layla always took after her visits. She did not approve of lesbianism. Frequently, she had denounced it as a fad for the young. However, she had seen for the first time in her life that precious spark of love between two women. One was willing and the other clueless. She just hoped that when Ashley opened Layla's eyes that Layla would not get hurt. Layla's heart was the purest she had ever known in her eighty-three long years of life, and she hoped for the best between the two women. No matter what happened now, Layla's youthful innocence would be forever erased by the knowledge Ashley was about to give her. However, she knew there was much the both of them could gain for each other if romance was allowed to bloom. She knew what she had to do at this point, and ambled toward the telephone.

Layla walked in complete silence on the sidewalk, keeping herself bodily as close to Ashley as she could. Ashley chalked it up to the weather, the temperature had, in fact, remained fairly chilly. Still, even for Layla, complete silence was unusual and during that walk, her mind kept replaying the whole affair at the flower shop. It kept her mind occupied while she waited for some word or sign from Layla that they had arrived at the spot she had in mind. Ashley honestly did not have to wait very long. Layla had stopped suddenly, and Ashley's only warning was the slight tug on her arm when Layla did so. Ashley glanced at Layla, but Layla's eyes were distant, focused far away among the rows of tombstones that dotted the city cemetery.

"Is this where we are meeting someone?" Ashley asked. Layla's only reply was a barely perceptible nod of her head.

Ashley swallowed, not sure she was liking where this was going. Cemeteries always made her nervous. Layla resumed her walk, this time without holding onto Ashley's hand. Ashley was unsure of whether or not she should follow, but Layla motioned for her to come along. The trees were still clinging onto their covering of leaves, but just barely. Still, the cemetery was kept fairly clear of the large oak leaves that were as large as Ashley's hand.

Layla veered off the paths and made her way to where a solitary oak tree stood silent and majestic sentinel over the graves of the dead. She paused by the tree and waited for Ashley to catch up, who was following behind at a distance.

"Ashie, wait here a minute, please?" Layla asked with tearful eyes. Ashley nodded silently and watched as Layla approached a headstone that was nearest the tree. The sun shone brilliantly over the bright green grass and filtered through Layla's hair creating a shining aura. The sun filtered through the tears that fell upon the grass, and Ashley felt that despite her sadness, Layla looked even more beautiful than any angel could have ever possibly hoped to. Ashley listened as Layla started speaking. She felt kind of bad doing it, but she was curious.

"Hey. I'm sorry I haven't been visiting much lately. I met someone a year ago, I guess you know by now, huh?"

Layla waved Ashley over, and Ashley ambled along to kneel on the grass next to Layla.

"This is Ashley. She is the coolest. She reminds me of you a bit, but I wanted you to meet her because she is special to me. I hope she is special to you too."

"This is my mom, Ashley." Layla said looking at her with eyes full of pain and sadness.

Ashley read the inscription on the tombstone. Anne Thomas. The name sounded vaguely familiar, but she could not place it in her mind.

"Hello, Mrs. Thomas."

Ashley looked over at Layla who was giggling slightly.

"What?" Ashley asked.

"You make her sound old, Ashie. She is only 36."

Ashley looked at the date. Today's date, only twelve years ago. Her mother died twelve years ago on this day. Everything clicked in place.

"The carnations- you ordered twelve of them!"

Layla lowered her head.

"The flowers are made the way you want them for a reason, aren't they?"

Layla lowered her head further, but nodded.

"What do they mean, Lay-lay?"

Layla looked up at her, her mournful face was pulling at Ashley's heartstrings once again.

"The pink carnation symbolizes love for your mother. A single yellow daffodil means there was a loss. As for the message it sends, that is all usually based on perception. I buy one carnation for every year since she died and a yellow daffodil to show how much I miss her. So, the message is that despite it being twelve years since I lost her forever, I still love her just as much."

Layla looked down at the grave, finally placing the flowers against the headstone. She wiped away her tears.

"How long have you been doing this?" Ashley asked, but suddenly remembered Mrs. Finnegan's words at the flower shop about knowing Layla for twelve years. "Every year since she died..." Ashley said, more to herself. Layla nodded tearfully.

"That means, you had to have been six?" Ashley asked. Layla nodded as she looked at nearby graves. "Where is your father?"

"I never knew him." Layla said, a tinge of anger in her words. This was the first time she had ever heard that emotion in Layla's voice.

"Did he die before you were born?" Ashley asked, her heart breaking for the pain showing in Layla's face.

"No." Layla said. "He didn't want me, or my mommy."

"What?" Ashley deadpanned.

Layla remained quiet, but her expression was conveying so many feelings at once that Ashley had a hard time reading them all. Layla swallowed hard.

"I was born June the Third, eighteen years ago. I was born homeless, Ashie." Layla paused. "I was born on the loading dock of an abandoned warehouse beneath a bunch of old pallets and cardboard mommy put together as a sort of home for us. The warehouse used to be behind a popular club that sold alcohol under the table during Prohibition. I am sure in the past year you have walked past Club Rocks?"

"The strip club?" Ashley asked.

"Yeah, that is what it became a few years ago. The warehouse was torn down, nothing is left of my old home."

Ashley felt such sadness grip her at hearing that Layla had never even had the chance at a proper home before. She could not imagine growing up like that.

"Was your mother also born homeless?" Ashley prodded. Layla shook her head slowly.

"I learned after mommy died that she ran away. Her parents wanted mommy to give me away because they didn't want to have to take care of me. She gave up everything for me."

Ashley was stunned.

"How old was she when...?"

"Eighteen." Layla said, the tears welling up again.

"Wow, I could not imagine an eighteen-year-old giving birth on the streets, then having to take care of the baby, too."

"She used to tell me I was her world and that as long as she had me, she would need nothing else." Layla said, openly sobbing now as she spoke.

"I miss her so much. Every day I feel it, her loss. All of it because she loved me too much to give me away, before I was even born. My dad left us on the streets, denied my mom and me in front of his own parents."

"Who is he?"

"I tracked him down once, a few years ago. He was still a spoiled rich kid living with mommy and daddy in a big house going to college. He went into politics and isn't hard to find. He is the new city mayor. Even then, he denied me. Accused me of trying to blackmail him for some money and threatened to call the cops on me. Me being homeless, I ran as quickly as I could. Nobody would ever believe me."

Now Ashley was at a complete loss for words. She sat there digesting all of this new information. Somehow, Layla's story was still ringing bells in her head, mayoral love child being the exception, and she had no idea why. She made a mental note to check it out somehow.

Layla, in the meanwhile, had her head turned back towards her mother's grave. Ashley felt awful that six feet of earth had separated child from mother ever since Layla was but a small child. It felt wrong, all of it. The fact that a family would refuse to accept their grandchild, the father would deny the mother and daughter to become a mayor with money and a big house, that such a sweet, lost soul like Layla was reduced to rags while everybody who should have been important in her development as a woman had denied her and her mother. Now, this girl was haunted by nightmares and living in the only palace she would probably ever know- a patchwork canvas tent in the middle of the woods.

Layla spoke again, towards her mother this time.

"It seems you have been getting a lot of new neighbors. I guess a lot of people go in twelve years. You still have the tree, I guess. I have to go now, I wish I could stay longer, but I have stuff I need to do. If everything goes well, you will not have to worry about me anymore. I will visit as soon as I can mommy."

Layla laid down on her stomach upon the grass, her hands clutching at the Earth. Ashley's eyes welled up in tears as she realized Layla was trying to hug her mother. Every heart-wrenching sob coming from the small woman shook Ashley to the core. Layla's sadness felt intimately her own as though thousands of knives were piercing her at the same time, plunging through flesh and bone over and again. Ashley had no idea what to do, so she rubbed Layla's back gently hoping it would somehow help. Layla laid there for a long time, bringing herself as close as she could to her mom. When Layla started to get up, Ashley helped Layla to her feet. Layla leaned her delicate frame against Ashley, her face tired and weary. Now Ashley knew what was draining Layla's strength throughout the day when she left camp. She laid her arm across Layla's shoulders and began to wonder at how natural and lovely this reaction was becoming for her.

"Ashie?" Layla asked, her voice breaking.

"Mm-hmm?" Ashley hummed.

"I am so lucky to have you. You have no idea how much this means to me; how special you are to me. Who else would tolerate me?"

"Oh, shush. None of that."

"Ashie?"

"Yes, my tearful little Leprechaun?"

"I'm not wearing green."

"Look again."

"Oh-, but Ashie?"

"Yes?"

Layla was silent, and Ashley looked down to see Layla's conflicted face.

"What is it Layla?"

"I'm not sure- how to ask this, but, um..."

"Come on my cute little Leprechaun. Out with it, or else I'm sure we will find your pot of gold somewhere before you ask."

"Why, what will happen then?"

"I am buying the first ticket out of town and never coming back." Ashley said jokingly.

Ashley watched as a tear trickled down Layla's already tear-streaked face, and she felt horrified. That tear was because of her, not for her. Layla started walking away as fast as she could and Ashley chased after her. God, this could not have gone any worse. Among her faults was definitely that she talked without thinking. She had hurt Layla, she saw it plainly in the girl's face and it was tearing her apart inside to have to chase Layla down knowing it was she that Layla was running from. Fortunately, but not so much so, Layla had been so consumed in her despair that she did not see the tree root. She had not made it even ten feet before she was brought down to her knees by the protruding impediment. Ashley walked over and got down to her knees and tried to hug Layla, but was shoved off.