Rags Ch. 02

"I'm sorry, Lay-lay."

"No, you're not. You would abandon me like all of the others, like I-. Never mind, this is stupid, Ashley."

Ashley winced. Layla had not called her by her full first name since the day they first met, and that was not a meeting on the best of terms, either. Layla was getting up, but Ashley pulled her back down quickly.

"Let me go!" Layla yelled.

"Nope."

"Stop being such a butthead and let-me-go!" Layla's voice was beginning to carry, so Ashley cupped her hand over Layla's mouth, then pinned the girl against the dirt. It did not stop Layla's struggles so Ashley did the first thing she could think of. She used her body weight to keep the still-struggling Layla pinned and laid a kiss on Layla's cheek. As though that were some magic button, Layla stopped squirming and looked over her shoulder at Ashley who could not believe what she had just done. That was no peck, it was a wet and sloppy slightly lingering type of a kiss, and Ashley had to play it off somehow. She leaned forward and whispered into Layla's ear.

"I'm not going anywhere Layla. Not without you. Besides, I might kiss you more often if I can see that look on your face again, it was totally priceless."

Layla tried to throw Ashley off, but their weight difference made such a thing impossible. After a few minutes of struggle, she finally stopped squirming.

"You don't fight fair, Ashie."

"Never." Ashley said, rising to her feet. She helped Layla up and they brushed themselves off.

"Why did you kiss me?" Layla asked, picking a few persistent blades of grass from her pants.

"I don't know, it just kind of happened."

Layla shrugged and offered her hand. Ashley gladly accepted the offer and they started toward the entrance, but only after Layla looked back at her mother's grave.

"I love you, mommy." she said, then turned away and headed in the direction of their next destination.

**********

"A library? You have got to be kidding me. Of all the places you wanted to show me next, it was a library? I've been here before too."

Layla's brows furrowed, and Ashley realized she was doing it again.

"I'm sorry, Lay-" she began.

"Why do you have to be so mean sometimes?" Layla asked pointedly, rounding on her until they were face-to- face. Well, chest- to-face considering their height difference, but Layla's brown eyes were angrily fixed on Ashley's.

"I'm sorry! I just sometimes speak without thinking. It is a bad habit of mine."

"Come on." Layla said with a roll of her eyes.

'She even manages to make angry look cute.' Ashley thought to herself as she was half-dragged through the heavy oak-paneled doorways.

'Nothing new about this building, that's for sure.' Ashley thought to herself.

Ashley realized that Layla was making a beeline for the receptionist's desk, and for some reason that unnerved her. Ashley had a long list of problems with authority figures no matter what their stripes. None of them really bothered her a bit. Politician- they're crooked. Cops- they're pigs. Her parents- they were practically pickled with how much alcohol they drank. There was something about librarians, however, that always seemed to get her skin crawling. Something about the simple, but timeless act of placing their fingers over their moths that seemed to command some sort of respect from people. Ashley could rebel against anybody but a librarian, therefore, they creeped her out. Now here she was, skin crawling and tingly-feelingly being dragged up to- a librarian.

The woman was not bad-looking, however. A couple decades off of the age, and a couple less obvious plastic surgeries (how could she afford those?) and an occupational change, Ashley would have been tempted to jump the woman if it weren't for Layla being her sole love interest. The librarian lady looked down at them over her chest, and yes, her chest. These were not the lovely, large "melons" of popular porn movies and erotica everywhere, they were humongous orbs of gravity-defying plasticity (okay, Silicone) that made one wonder if the woman still had a rib cage or a neck at all. That was how Ashley saw it as they approached this woman who quickly came around the corner, miraculously without busting her bra, and embraced Layla as though she were her daughter.

"Hey there, Layla." the woman said in a hushed voice.

"Hey, Mrs. Black." Layla said in a normal voice. Rather, it was Layla's normal voice to talk low, so nothing likely ever would have been said to her about talking too loud in the library.

"The results are in. Everybody is waiting to-" the woman paused as she noticed someone coming their way. Ashley followed Mrs. Black's look to see a large towering mass of humanity with a goatee and an impeccably-tailored suit walking up. Ashley was now extremely nervous but was prepared to defend Layla with her life.

"Ashie, what's wrong?" Layla hissed in her ear. Ashley nearly jumped out of her skin. She had not noticed whatsoever that she had edged herself between Layla and the mountain of a man, a distance of ten feet that she had not remembered walking. She heard Mrs. Black laugh behind her.

Layla walked around Ashley and the mans' at first stern demeanor melted away into a display of white toothiness. He carried an envelope in his hands, which he he held out to Layla before getting down on one knee and scooping her into a tight hug. Ashley suddenly noticed that all of the nearby staff had suddenly appeared around her, and they were all expecting something to happen. Ashley felt herself caught up in eager anticipation of whatever it was. All eyes were on Layla as she looked at the envelope, then slowly broke the tape seal on the back to reveal a sheaf of papers.

"I- I passed..." she said simply, her voice nearly inaudible.

Ashley watched as Layla suddenly turned around, her face an expression of tearful joy, and ran up to her and embraced her as tightly as she could.

The entire assembled staff were murmuring the news among themselves until the giant man began clapping. Even within the broad expanse of the library, his massive paws seemed to give off a sound like an earthquake as the gesture was taken up by everybody around her. Layla let her go with tears still falling down her pretty face and she turned to face all of the library workers. The applause died down as she tried to speak.

"Thank you all, so very much. This is a dream come true for me." Layla said, trying to wipe the tears from her eyes. Amid a chorus of sympathetic 'awwws', each of the staff members came up to Layla and gave her hugs and congratulations.

In the meanwhile, the man walked towards an intercom box, turning a key and pressing a button, his already larger-than-life voice now boomed throughout the library.

"Attention library patrons. This is Stephen Black, Head Librarian of this faciliy. I wish to ask you to join us in congratulating Miss Layla Marie Thomas for being not only the very first member, the inspiration and guiding voice of this libraries' Read to Riches GED Program, but being the first student to pass Phase I of the program and claim her GED with the top score you can earn on the exam..."

Ashley's jaw dropped, she had had no clue whatsoever. This was never something Layla had ever brought up in their conversations before.

"Now, she will begin Phase II of the program which is administered and facilitated with the help of this Library, the college application process. Please join me and the rest of the staff in congratulating Miss Thomas and wishing her the best of luck in her aspirations to go to college."

It seemed like every voice in the library and every hand was clapping. There were no dry eyes in the library, not Layla's, Ashley's, Mrs. Black's, none of the staff. Not even the mountain man was immune to a shed tear or two, which he promptly wiped away. Ashley's voice was probably the loudest, and she sure tried to give Mr. Black a run for his money in terms of how loudly she clapped. She was absolutely beside herself with joy and the tears flowed freely down her face. She felt nothing but pride for Layla in that moment as she realized finally what Layla had been talking about that morning in the woods. In the back of her mind, she allowed herself to wonder if it was really possible. Was it possible she could change her stars too? Could her dreams of the future be regained, and would she be able to live them out with Layla? She was determined to find out, but first, she needed answers.

Mr. Black was leading Layla away to the classroom to discuss how they could help her with college applications, and Ashley needed some time to figure things out. If she was to realize both her love and her dreams, she had to know more about Layla than what she was being told. She turned resolutely to Mrs. Black.

"Mrs. Black, do you keep copies of the local paper?" Ashley asked, glancing toward Layla as she asked.

"Of course, we do, sweetheart. They are all in the newspaper room in the back of the library. Do you need help locating a certain time frame?"

"December Twenty-first, Nineteen Ninety- Nine."

Mrs. Black eyed Ashley with a glare that she found to be a challenge. Ashley saw as Mrs. Black looked towards Layla and then back to her. She whispered to one of the librarians next to her, then gestured for Ashley to follow her with a nervous twitch in the corner of her mouth. They walked pst rack upon rack of books, and Ashley realized she had forgotten how big this place was. They wound their way through a maze of bookshelves until they reached a long series of filing cabinets.

"Do you know how to work a microfilm projector?" Mrs. Black asked.

Ashley shook her head.

"Didn't think so. If it isn't on a computer, your generation has no idea how to make it work, but you are in luck. Mr. Black had all of the newspaper files put on our computer database for viewing."

Ashley watched as Mrs. Black walked towards a lone computer set into a corner.

"I know what you are searching for, or at least I think you have an idea." Mrs. Black said as she typed the date into the computer and clicked search. "I think some sleeping dogs are best left sleeping, if you know what I mean?"

Ashley nodded, but said," I understand. I really do, but I- I..."

"Love her, don't you?" Mrs. Black asked with a rueful smile.

"How do you know?" Ashley asked. "Am I that transparent?"

Mrs. Black laughed softly, the look in her eyes genuine.

"I have been on this Earth nearly fifty years. And a librarian for thirty of those. You look shocked, dear."

Ashley's mouth was indeed hanging slack, which she promptly closed. Mrs. Black laughed again in amusement.

"It's okay, dear. Everyone always tells me I look ten years younger than I am. The reactions never fail to amuse me."

As suddenly as the woman was mirthful, her eyes got serious- deadly serious.

"What is your name, dear?"

"Ashley."

"A pretty name. Well, Ashley, I will be straight with you if you don't mind being straight with me."

Ashley nodded, swallowing hard like she was about to get in trouble.

"What you are looking for are answers, correct? Layla left little breadcrumbs somewhere along the line and won't elaborate. You are head over heels for her and realize you need to reach her in some way to move things along, perhaps?"

Ashley nodded slightly and Mrs. Black smiled knowingly. She turned the computer chair around to face Ashley and her eyes became even more serious, if that were possible.

"I know this because I was in a similar situation with her. Not romantically, of course." Mrs. Black added, noting Ashley's look had suddenly assumed the glare of a woman jealously sizing up a rival," Let me elaborate, if you will. Imagine being a librarian for nearly twenty years when a small girl comes wandering into the library one day out of the blue. She was wearing such pitiful clothes, practically rags, and appearing during school hours, no less. Every single day the library is open, she appears faithfully-almost like a ritual. I check behind her at Mr. Black's request, ready to call Social Services."

"What stopped you?"

"Intuition at first. After some time being a librarian, if you care about the job, you begin to be able to read people's moods. It is a sort of game trying to figure out a person's life story by what they are wearing, how they carry themselves, and what items they peruse on the shelves. I knew there was more to her story and then this happened." Mrs. Black said, gesturing for Ashley to look underneath the computer table. Written in child's handwriting, nearly ineligible as though being done for the first time, she saw Layla Thomas written underneath the desk. Ashley was shocked.

"It took me little time to realize that this little, pathetic but beautiful young girl had taught herself to write her name after a few weeks here in the library. I knew she had to be homeless, and she always appeared so sad. After time, another thing happened." Mrs. Black gestured to the other side of the table, and Ashley was shocked again. The writing was slightly better, but obviously the same.

"I watched as she wrote this under the table without her noticing. I went back after hours only to see that this little girl had been writing her mother's epitaph on the bottom of this very desk so she would always remember that date."

Ashley looked under the desk. Written in pencil underneath the desk:

RIP Mommy

December 21, 1999

Ashley's eyes teared up over the story. She almost didn't want to know anymore.

"I couldn't call it in, and I convinced Mr. Black not to get rid of the desk, hence this computer on this desk in this quiet corner of the library. At first, after we moved it here, it was the very next day we noticed the little girl come in per her routine. We watched her go from table to table. She was completely distraught. She wandered past me with me following her. It was like I was a complete ghost to her, I may as well have not been there at all. She kept looking underneath every desk in here, her eyes were full of tears and it seemed she was ready to give up. I just didn't have the heart to let her hurt anymore, so I suggested going to the back. We had just moved a desk back there and she could see if that was her favorite one."

Mrs. Black wiped tears from the corner of her eyes with a finger, Ashley had to wipe her tear- soaked face on her shirt.

"We never saw her leave that day. Mr. Black and I checked everywhere. She was nowhere. Then we remembered about the desk being moved. Lying asleep under this very desk was that young little girl. We woke her up and told her she had to go. We felt horrible doing it, but we were not able to afford a little girl and she couldn't live here. We didn't have the heart to have her put in foster homes for all the good that does. We did the only thing we thought was right, we let her come and go as she pleased. Still, there were gaps, things I wanted to know."

Mrs. Black trembled as she looked on the computer screen to the date on top. Her face looked haunted as, though that date were some curse in her memory. She looked back at Ashley, tears flowing freely down her face.

"I hope you still love her after reading what you are about to see. She needs someone in her life who cares. She may not remember all of the details, but if you lead her down this route, just know that it will cause her tremendous pain. She will need you more than ever. We made so much progress with her, teaching her out of schoolbooks after hours. I mean, what better place than a library, right?" Mrs. Black asked, wiping away the flood of tears.

"If you love her, she needs to know what is possible, but to know what is possible, she has to gain closure with her past. She has been burying it somewhere deep in her mind, but she needs to know in order to be able to love you and let you love her like she deserves. If you ever need help with her, you are always welcome to talk to me about it. She is the daughter I always wanted, and I want nothing but happiness for her." Mrs. Black said as she got up and started walking away. Over her shoulder, she said," If that happiness is to be you, you will need to read her story. If you read her story, only then will you will understand what must be done."