All Comments on 'Rally Weekend'

Really good story, but........it failed by leaving it hanging. Pity.....

vicky is a whore bitch and deserves to be divorced....and the cunt should get nothing..she had it planned and could of gone up with her husband...but she didnt mayhbe now her and tina could be the whores they prefer to be.......lmfao....the bitch vicky

For the read.

I don't see anything but a pussyman story taking place. He has already shown in his description that he is afraid of the guy that's fucking his wife and he knew he shouldn't have let her go but he did. Her change was definitely not a good one for him, I'm thinking. Looking forward to the next installment, I think.

Not a bad first effort but the complete lack of an ending for this story leaves the reader...very unsatisfied. I am unsure why the author would simply stop his story part way through? If the story is the first chapter of a longer piece then it should be labeled as such.

What IS there isn't bad at all. What isn't there kind of wrecks it. Try again!

Looking forward to part two.

One star, unfinnished shit. I'd stay to get evidence since you know cum dump

Wife is mikes slut and probably been fucking mike and tina for a while.

You need to finish it. I hate when people start a story and don't finish them.

Gave it a 3 good setup to go any direction if

Cuck -5 stars

Btb +2 stars

Forgivness +1stars

Noncheatn romantic meh ... lol

Well, maybe his creator might have wanted to figure that out before he wrote the story? A person can say those words, because people are liars, to others and to themselves. But when an author wants to portray a character as being uncertain, the author must then explain why. Obviously he will become more certain how he feels the more time he has to think about it. And his wife is riding by in a parade exposing her tits, and her husband is concerned that HE may cause a scene. Are you serious? And regardless of how he might feel, why is he not following the parade vehicle to catch up with his wife? Parades ususally don't move that fast.

There's just too much this husband suspected and was uncertain about, but did nothing or too little to find out what was going on. And Mike wants to fuck his wife, and she wants to fuck Mike, but this close caring sensitive husband doesn't notice any chemistry or looks or hints? You're making the husband out to be such a timid uncertain doofus that we really don't care if his wife is fucking around or not.

I will wait to rate assuming there will be more to this unfinished story. Otherwise its a 1 or 2 so far.

Yes, you do need an editor. This isn't plumbing. No one besides you knows what goes on under your sink.

If this is a chapter story, be courteous and say so up front. Some of us, (I, for one) don't like reading chapter stories until they're finished. I want to read at my pace, not yours. If it isn't a chapter story, then it sucks. There isn't even a direction to use the imagination. You told the story pretty well, but the typos distract. Good luck.

Settings are vivid . Supporting characters need polish and spotlight. Dialogue is borderline dull. I like the narrator but yeah he's a bit of a plodder. I can see why his Ophelia /Vicky has spit the fidelity bit . No worries though because what happens at biker rallies stays at biker rallies. ...until next Easyrider magazine is published. Oh well, they raised the kid to adulthood., better then many contemporary marriages

i hope you write an ending to this. looks like she is cheating and i hope he gets even.

"Los tres amigos" set him up so his wife could cheat and become a whore as her friend...How will he react? Only the writer knows...The husband doesn't have to confront the "Airborne Ranger"! he just have to confront, or not, his wife...So let's wait and see...3* for now

Pretty good story until the idiot decides on divorce. A smart guy would have taken lots of pictures, been proud that his wife was no longer a prude, and then banged the hell out of her and Tina. Seriously, people, what the hell is wrong with all of you? This whole prudish, divorce, BtB crap makes you look like idiots. Hopefully the guy will sleep on it, wake up, realise that he has just tapped into a lot of fun with his wife, and spend the rest of the weekend with her topless or naked. 2* unless it changes.

Your start is pretty good, don't blow the ending!

hope you have a good ending wife seems to be a bit of a slut now what can you do with that make it exciting

The story is only an Introduction to divorce.The concrete pour on Mikes job Monday isn't going to happen well either. When he wakes up he needs to head home and move all her clothing and personal things to the yard and set the sprinklers to come on about the time Vickiee and Mike show up and try to get past the new locks on the garage and doors. And by the way have her served at work so all those horney ER docs will be able to keep her occupied and let the divorce slide through In your favor. I don't care if Mike was in on the planning or not, his source of anything the Company the husband works for is out of that item forever when he trys to order it.

If this goes anywhere except to the dump the cunt ending it deserves, you might as well let the husband wake up from a good night as the pivot man in a circle jerk with a group of hard core outlaw bikers, because life as he knew it is over forever.

GIVE THE MAN SOME BALLS!!! Confront, Condemn, Convict and then Cut Off.

No end to story crappy writer

Like many stories, the reader is left hanging. It needs an actual conclusion.

Hope you write an ending to this story

# 2

Has the making of a good story. The next chapter will make or break it.

Second part please...

It happens. One spouse is unfulfilled at home and finds one or more FWB. I will not be surprised to read about her also being sexually involved with the other woman. Lots of potential in this story, and it can mirror real life.

that Vicky was uncomfortable at the rally's but always came home horny.

That means she didn't trust you enough to say what she really wanted. She can however have fun when you aren't around. She thinks you're holding her back.

Time to cut bait! You are not needed or wanted anymore.

Finish it.

The title was the most impressive art of this story. Poorly written and no ending at all.

Send her the picture of her topless and a text saying don't come home. Then send Picts to all of the family to explain your pending divorce. Confronting her right now could cause a seriously bad fight at the rally and jail or prison time.

Is this the first chapter of a multi-part story, or is it a stand-alone story?

If this is supposed to be a stand-alone story, I would say you need to revise it. This ending gives no closure or sense of conclusion. It leaves things hanging.

If this was the first chapter to a multi-chapter story, I would say you have a decent set-up. However, this is still more of a cliff-hanger ending and I hate stories that end chapters with cliffhangers.

then look up the 3 elements every story must have to be considered a story. Don't write again until you memorize the 3 elements.

Without an ending -- presuming it's not the first part -- there is tension but no resolution.

Some readers like a good BTB. Others a reconciliation. Still others a RAAC. So far, this is half a road -- it leads to nowhere. I'm hoping there's a part 2 at least. But that's up to you.

Part 2 of this story is on it's way. I realize the mistake that I made by not adding Part 1 to my title. Apologies to all and stay tuned for part 2.

I'll wait to see what happens in two. You do need an editor.

Go home and pack all her shit and burn it in the back yard. Take pictures of the stuff you burn, put her wedding dress and wedding photo album on the top then pour gas on the whole thing. Use your marriage license to start the fire careful not to show your face or say a word.

Then send the photos to everyone you know especially your son and explain that his mother is a cheating whore who was turning tricks at a filthy biker camp. She had become a total whore and that if he had any respect for his father he would cut her out of his life. Call the bank and say that your cards and check book had been stolen and that they needed to move the money and cancel the cards, also that your wife was out of town and that she had funds. Request an emergency override on limits and take out as much cash as you can. Pack the truck with as much of your stuff and anything left that is valuable and leave the house empty.

If this is a chapter 1, we would like to know it. If not, even JPB would have given us more than this. I think it is costing you real points on your score.

Do it yourself guy or not, you NEED an editor.

I'll skip what follows.

Wife Vicky decides to be a slut cum dump while her friend and boyfriend collude to get her out of town without her husband. Stupid husband agrees to let her go to a wild rally alone - divorce!

You are a woman that is why you wrote a brain dead man!

What kind of ending is this? Is there a part 2 ?

Gawd this sucks as is. JMO

This needs an ending.......

Brave of you to launch in the LW catagory. I don't notice the grammatical mistakes, and I'm not a biker (I think of them as rolling racket). While Vicki's topless ride is out of character, at least as he understands her character, it may be imprudent, but in my opinion, it's not divorce material...of course more may come later. Mike clearly set him up, but then knew that going in, didn't he. I think it was a vary good part one, and look forward to part 2.

Keep writing!

Chilley

If you are going to bother writing a story, please can you actually complete it!

This could either end with; a) a confrontation between husband and wife, or; b) the husband wimping out and going home with his tail between his legs.

It would also be helpful to have the errant wifes point of view.

You left everyone hanging after a long intro

Not a bad start. I would look forward to the rest if there is a rest..

...looks like myself as well as a lot of other folks like your story and hope you'll finish it up. Great read.

Vicky deserves a biker gang bang!

If you are NOT going to finish the story at least let everyone know it is only a chapter of a longer story.

Also I smell a cuck story coming, the main character is already in turmoil over what he should do or feel about a "prude" wife secretly going back to smoking pot with a skank friend and now riding topless without him or his knowledge. Other give away is how he describes the boyfriend of the skank friend.

Don't leave us hanging for too long. This could go several ways.

This could go either way.

High suspence and good writing.

Well done writer!

Was that this years rally, I may have seen her. Labor Day is coming up, don't for get the Kansas rally at Lake Perry.

Well, Sweetie did NOT 'pull a train' of strangers (yet!) At least in public ... THIS night! Could be worse. Sonny will be proud when he sees the videos!

Trouble is, we have very little interaction between the spouses regarding standards and expectations. Hubby is watching from afar, literally and figuratively!

and the filming explains most of it, TK U MLJ LV NV

another cocksucking WIMP posting dumb cuck SHIT.

By intentionally parking his truck back as far from the campground as as he did my first thought was this husband has an expectation of his conservative wife cheating on him. There was not much set up for presumed indiscretion in early information about Vicky with Lisa and Mike. Vicky smoked some pot with Lisa does not redefine a long term marriage. And then, why did this guy jump to a divorce her attitude so quickly?

Did I miss a chapter or previous story about these characters?