All Comments on 'Rat's Law'

This is almost exactly the same as Kimmi1990's story except hers was waaay better and Vulcez did one a little different but again much better. Both were from the daughter's POV. Not enough meat on these bones. I'll give it a three because it ain't cuck, but it ain't well written, either.

sorry I did laugh at the punched her in the tits line. Not gone with the wind but a solid 4. I like that the daughter didn't back the mom just because she gave birth to her. Not bad

Ugh, 1* for childish writing and characters. You really need to edit.

Thanks for sharing;)

Guessed I missed that part. Mom can't believe the 'Gaul?' That's an ancient Germanic tribe. I think you mean gall. Otherwise pitiful story. Thought I was getting a semi woody. Just gas. YUCK. Get an editor and don't dare go into MY Air Force or write Any more trash. 1 star is too many.

Ironcross13

A short story that at least is funny...And that is more than enough...3*

Nice brief to the point story, funny as hell.

A little editing advice: "She gave a one-two punch into both breasts of Karen." -

"She gave a one-two punch into both of Karen's breasts," is better

You slipped into present tense a few times, you should stay in past tense.

Different, unusual and fun.

Had a little problem with

alteration between

"Karen" and "mom".

4 out of 5 from me,

Thanks!

Hilarious! Keep it up!

With the coffee. Laughingly wiping up the spills from laughing!!

I love a woman that can fight!

Thanks for this short.

Welcome to LW and Lit. Great start. Concur with ‘keep her Mom’ and ‘past tense.’

5*

I do feel sorry for the daughter. For the ex wife, though, consequences are truly a bitch! Five stars...

What's Rat's Law? Is it just the 1 for 6 ratio? I've never heard of it before.

Great flash story and a great perspective from the daughters point of view. Well done. I hope to see lots from you.

Outstanding flash story.

When I noticed this is the only story posted today scored above 3.0, I knew it had to involve a woman getting beaten to a bloody pulp. I guess the twist here is that she was beaten by a tiny pixie lady instead of a manly man. (And no pickaxe handle was involved.)

That, in a nutshell, was the entire story! Change the pixie lady’s name to Dave, and this would be like every story Vandy has ever written.

I’ll never understand the purpose of these stories appearing on an erotic website. I mean, Quentin Terantino has made a career out of making over-the-top violent movies, but would any sane person think to visit an X-rated theater to watch one? This marriage of bloody violence and erotica is truly disturbing.

On the plus side, I think the author did a convincing job of narrating this story from an 18-year-old’s perspective.

Another "profound" announcement by swingerjoe...what a snowflake!

try not to do so very often, but expect dire consequences, TK U MLJ LV NV

(it's short), this is the best short story I have yet read on this site. Surprises or jabbing insights in almost every sentence! That the "pixie lady" etc is now with Dad is a bit too much, but the story's concentrated perceptions probably earn that indulgence. Five *****. FIVE, you illiterate "Anons" who confuse fictive explorations in tight narrative style with your own cliche wishful fantasies!!

and change her name from Karen to Kyle, and now we have a homosexual betrayal story, with an adopted daughter, or from a previous heterosexual marriage. Yeah, changing the gender of the characters kind of does change the nature of the story, especially when the story involves sexuality!! Who knew?

A pathetic attempt to slam a story because a woman got her ass kicked after she attacked, another, SMALLER, woman. Such violence and indignity should not be suffered in SJ's compartmentalized world. Now, have a cuckolded husband attack a larger fitter asshole fucking his wife, and SJ is just fine with the husband getting his ass kicked on top of getting his heart broken and his marriage destroyed. Hey, its just a curious wandering wife, right? No reason to get all violent about it.

I enjoyed reading about the beat down, and can't wait for the sequel coming in 6 months. Oh shit, what if its 6 days? Schweet!!!

Uh, I'm not Swingerjoe.

Well it's a non erotic tale, just like those swinger tales of sharing. Man fucks friends wife, friend fucks man's wife. Both enjoy cream pie and live happily ever after. End of story.

Don't know why the cucks and sluts start whining when a cheating slut gets what she deserves. Man shouldn't hit his cheating wife, but no problem with wrongedother wife kicking her ass. Bring it back for chapter 2 when the pixie comes back.

Excellent point! I had forgotten that the bigger Karen had hit the smaller Terri first!

For those questioning the meaning of "Rat's Law," I don't think that it's a real thing, just something that Terri made up. Maybe it's a term from where she grew up. The bottom line, when you wrong her, she pays it back six times.

we could have done without the pixie picking the poor guy out of the garbage can.

Other than that it was a sharp tasting bit.

It's not often we see a marriage fall apart from the viewpoint of a daughter (or son).

I understand our narrator wanting to use the first name instead of "mother" to identity the cheater but switching back and forth was cumbersome.

It's too bad dad didn't step up and move into an apartment sooner so the daughter could have escaped with him.

Thanks for writing

the Word is the Law and so spoke Teri, TK U MLJ LV NV

worth every one of the 5*s.

I usually don't like single page stories but this was well done. 5 stars and worth every one.

Gracias. 5 Estrellas!!

Like the POV, too. Kids are the real victims when patents get stupid and selfish.

You took an approach I've only encountered once before. I had a good time.

Jedd Clampett

P.S. If you're going to hang around and write any additional LW stuff you should do some reading. Of course there's the "Hall of Fame", but before you do that find these authors, Ohio, Hard Days Knight, Just Plain Bob, and D.Q. Steele.

Like your pov, different and the story was well written. Only criticism would be its brevity so I gave it a four.

Good flash story. My only complaint was about your having Kathy refer to her mother as "xsd5Karen" in the last paragraph.

and original. 5* from me

That's the kind of young woman I wish I'd met at 18.

Great story!

👏 loved it 👏

Hilarious! I love the fact that Lance's wife took revenge like that.

5***** Enjoyed the female version of Rocky. The knock out of a trash, cheating slut who broke up two families was too awesome!

you get all five stars for this effort, will we get more?

I guess her dad ended up with Terri? Kathy mentioned sometimes with "four big guys", I assume that was Terri's brothers? Good for Terri btw. I like the part where she says "you hit like a girl" and then blows up the much bigger Karen.

Great! Too bad it wasn't longer.